Thursday, July 11, 2019

I Am Still Dreaming at 68!

When I was a younger person I used to dream about my future life. Don't we all do that? My mom used to tell me to quit wishing my life away and it turns out she was right. Aren't moms always right?? Anyhow when I was young this is what I dreamed.

I dreamed there would be that handsome prince who whisked me away on that big, striking horse. The horse was always white with the longest and fluffiest of tales. And the prince always resembled Elvis in some manner. That is just how I rolled back then. A handsome man with the darkest and slickest of hair. One who was gentle and loving and could sing to me. Ha! Ha! Sounds somewhat silly now, doesn't it? As I grew older I began to realize, as most of us do, that beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. My first husband was tall and handsome. But now if you saw him you would think: What was she thinking?? I think that too. He did not age well. And he didn't turn out to be much of a prince either. But my second (and last) husband was shorter than me. He had a belly and was mostly bald. But he was the kindest and most gentle man I ever met. Truly, he was my prince. 

Now back to my dreaming....I dreamed of the perfect little family. Two kids and a dog. There would be a boy and girl. Boy first. Because boys always protect their little sisters. Right? And the perfect little house. More like a cottage really. With the white picket fence. OF COURSE. 

Now back to reality...I never really had that cottage with the picket fence. I would still like to have one. As I go about down-sizing I am keeping my eye open for the perfect cottage. I want it to be SMALL. Like maybe less than 1000 square feet. There is only me after all. But it has to have a yard. Not a big yard mind you. I can happily sell the lawn tractor. A little flower/herb garden is a must. Although, I don't have either right now.

I did have my two kids. They are both boys. There was a baby girl in between who was stillborn. They are not perfect kids. Nothing like in my dreams. Is there any such thing as perfect kids? No where in my dreams did I even seen grand kids. Just not something a young girl dreams about.

What I have noticed about young people today (some, not all) is their dreams are much richer. They want everything NOW that took their parents all their life to achieve. They want that big house, all new furniture, the nicest cars. But they don't want to work 9-5, 5 days a week. And horrors if that work week  includes weekends or holidays. Are you crazy? I need time off to spend with my friends!! 

Now, for what I have learned. It's okay to dream. But I have learned to love imperfection. You will fail if you expect perfection. Right? I am learning to not beat myself up for mistakes, failure, or fatigue. I am still planning for my future. But I am going to remember the Yiddish saying:


34 comments:

  1. I say that all the time "Make a plan and see God laugh! I don't recall dreaming about much when I was younger. It was too flightly to even think about more than that day. When I was a married with young kids I used to think that I would be happier in my older age than I actually am. I didn't realize at the time that those years were my happiest. That's kind of a bummer but life happens and what can you do? I try now to just live day to day and be thankful for them.

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    1. I agree with that. I thought it was all about getting the kids raised and retiring and I would be happy. Not so much. But living day to day is okay too.

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  2. Keep looking for that little house, and don't take on any more grands.

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    1. Best advice ever. I won't take on any more grands. They will soon all be in their 20's. And my rule is 'once out of the house, you can only come back to visit. '

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  3. I love this post Paula! It's funny, but I never dreamed of a future husband or kids when I was growing up. I've always been more of a one day at a time and go with the flow type of person.

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    1. I started wanting to be married by the time I was 13. Crazy, huh

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  4. Dreams change. I bet you wouldn't change what you got for what you wanted, anyway.

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  5. I love Joanne's comment :) I do hope you find that house. It sounds perfect with the size and all. Honestly, if I'm the one "left behind" here I'm downsizing to a studio or very small condo. I can get by with under 1000 square feet easily!

    Your prince did come true with Richard!

    Like a lot said, dreams do change, but I like your attitude to not beat yourself up and to forgive yourself. I need to take that lesson for myself!

    and glad to see a post soooo soon from you!!!! Keep them coming when you feel like it!

    betty

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    1. You know there is a good chance you will be the one who is left behind because women outlive men. But with your husband being closer to your age hopefully you will not be left alone for many many years. A studio would be a good choice for me too. But I want a yard and a doggie. Many of these kinds of places do not allow for that. I'm doing my best to forgive myself. It is not easy.

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  6. I don't remember ever having those dreams. I couldn't even tell you what I'm "dreaming for" right now. That said, Keep dreaming always!

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    1. Sometimes I don't know either. But I always dreamed of being a mom!!

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  7. It' is always good to have dreams. Most of mine really did come true. Had a loving husband and 7 wonderful children. All I ever dreamed about...

    Love and hugs,
    mostly known as 'ma'

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  8. I've never dreamed of a future. It's weird to think about but I still don't really dream about the future.

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    1. REally? Maybe it was because I was wanting to escape my childhood!

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  9. I don't remember having any dreams in my youth, except getting away from a dysfunctional father. Once married with my own family, I did have plans for how my retirement would be. We both had plans, husband and I. But life took me in another direction - caring for my mom for 8 years (years when travel would have been possible with my husband but not practical because of mom) and once she was gone, my husband was no longer comfortable with the idea of traveling - blindness mostly dominated both our lives. So I don't really have plans any more. They never work out for me. I just let life be a happy (or unhappy) surprise.

    Yes, keep looking for that smaller place. I never regretted our move into this condo. And as I get older I am glad not to have any external issues to manage. At 72 energy becomes a commodity to manage as it is not inexhaustible. I sure do hate that part of aging

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    1. I remember wanting to just get away from home too but I did have dreams of where I wanted to get to. It's sad that our retirement dreams don't always materialize, isn't it. I will keep looking but I have a lot of purging to do first. And I just can't seem to want to do it.

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  10. I used to get in trouble while in school for daydreaming -- but I regret nothing. :)
    As a life-long dream weaver I say, "Don't Stop!"

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  11. My big dream back then was to live in a house in a neighborhood with the same neighbors for the rest of my life. It's probably a pretty common dream for kids who moved around as much as we did. On the up side, the community of engineers that my Dad belonged to was pretty small--so many of the families knew each other and followed each other from job site to job site. Still, it was kind of a lonely upbringing. I love the yiddish quote!

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    1. I've lived in this house more than 30 years! Yet I barely know my neighbors. I can imagine that moving all the time would make it hard on a kid. And lonely!

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  12. Okay dreamer, my reply to your post is here at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q61vIK9RTPU The chorsus starts at 1:16 Dream On!

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    1. Oh yeah, Steven Tyler.....Dream until your dreams come true!!

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  13. I guess I always hoped I'd get married and have kids and they'd have kids someday so in that case all my dreams have come true and I'm blessed. I hope you find the right house for you. You've done a lot of caring during your time, now is the time to think about yourself.

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  14. My dream was to see the world, that big place outside of the small-town Kansas where I grew up. I guess I've achieved that on a small scale but still want to see Ireland and to take one of those river cruises in Europe.

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    1. I was lucky to see a good bit of the world. I am content to be at home now. Where in Kansas do you live?

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  15. I had lots of dreams growing up. Some happened and some really not. Still have dreams and I haven't given up on publishing a novel. It may be my gift to myself for my 70th birthday. I was so pleased to see your comment on my blog the other day. Thanks!

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  16. Oh my gosh, I dream of a much smaller house, too. It's just two of us and we don't need much. I don't want to spend any more time than absolute minimum dusting and cleaning. I spend a lot of time outdoors. A house is just where I sleep and cook meals. Nice post, Paula!

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    1. I don't want to spend time cleaning either. Although I love a clean home. I have not spent as much time outdoors as I used to when I was younger.

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  17. I love the way you write, maybe you should dream about writing a book?! And then do it!

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    1. Thank you Inger. That is a nice compliment. I don't know that I have the drive to write a book.

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