One of my mom's favorite expressions was, "beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes all the way to the bone." I don't think I much paid attention to what that really meant. But I have found out it is true. And I have also learned that 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder.' I guess I could go ahead and say some of the most beautiful people I know are also some of the ugliest.
Today I had a discussion with the teens at my house as to what they thought "ugly" meant. It is funny what they learned about themselves. First of all Harley thought it had to do with physical beauty and clothing. Things that she found to be ugly were bad skin, bad teeth, and dirty hair! After we talked for awhile she said: "I guess I sound pretty shallow." Darian looked deeper into personalities and attitudes. But he also thought it was important to have nice hair, nice eyes, and a nice smile. If someone has those qualities then they can't be ugly. According to him. At the end of the discussion I think the important lesson was maybe they jump too quickly to judge a person based on how they look. I reassured them we all do it. Hopefully, they will both look deeper now.
However there are some things, people, animals, etc. that are just plain ugly. For example:
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| Ugly! But I'm sure someone loves him |
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| The outfits, not the people! |
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| What can I even say?? |
What is the ugliest thing you have ever seen. Do you believe there are ugly people?? Does ugly just apply to looks? How about ugly personalities?
I think that beauty of spirit shines through. And "beautiful" people who are ugly on the inside also show through. You just have to look deeper.
ReplyDeleteWise words here Liz!!
DeleteHi Paula - a good lesson for us all - we know better ... but we do as you mention still continue to jump to the wrong thoughts ... but I correct myself ... or try to - cheers Hilary
ReplyDeleteYes it is a good lesson for me too!!
DeleteHopefully your grandkids appreciate what a wise grandmother they have! As for those shoes - I have no words! lol
ReplyDeleteCan you just imagine those shoes on your feet?? I hope they will think I am wise!
DeleteWell, those shoes sure are ugly! I've seen them before and can't figure out how the foot fits into them...
ReplyDeleteI've met some pretty ugly people...and I mean ugly on the inside. A lot of them, in fact. But thankfully I've met significantly more beautiful people. and I only hang with beautiful people...no matter what they look like!
Great lessons for Harley and Darian! You're a great influence...
Michele at Angels Bark
I can't figure it out either Michele! The look so uncomfortable. I want to influence them with all of my 'good' parts!
DeleteGreat post on ugly. You are right ugly does go to the bone ... When you are talking about the quality of a person. Great discussion for your grand kids.
ReplyDeleteWe enjoyed our discussion!
DeleteI have toured many many homes, both old and new. I remember walking into a room in one mini-mansion and saying to my companion "This just proves you can't see a price tag too high on 'ugly'." To me 'ugly' is a visual thing. Ugly personalities I consider to be despicable. Unfortunately, I have met many folks who fit the bill.
ReplyDeleteI usually think of ugly as visual. But in recent years I have begun to see it as a personality type as well. I have met more than my share too!
DeleteWhat a great discussion! Whether a person is ugly or not, is a decision I make with my eyes closed. What people consider visually beautiful about a person: teeth, hair, face, body, etc can all be changed in a heartbeat and they can most certainly change over time. Good character, moral standards, humor, work ethics, etc. can be judged by physical appearance. Good job, for having that discussion with the grands.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you Gram. I am going to pass that on to them. Decide if a person is ugly with your eyes closed!! Profound words
DeleteDang, another typo! I meant good character, ethics, etc can't be jidged by appearance. I still think it's great that you had the conversation with the grands!
DeleteI didn't even notice the typo! I read it as "can't". I love when you come back to talk to me!!
DeleteMy gosh with those shoes!! That was a good discussion you all had! I like that Harley was able to identify that perhaps she was being a bit shallow about things. That is good insight!
ReplyDeleteI think people's hearts reflect if they are beautiful or not. Indeed beauty is skin deep, but an ugly heart can cause so much damage I think.
betty
You are right about that Betty!
DeleteThe eye of the beholder, right? I've found a lot of times what someone might think is ugly about themselves is something that is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteAm I the only one that finds beauty in wrinkles, like wrinkles around the eyes. I think it must remind me of laughter. It makes me sad when the person feels the need to have plastic surgery.
Definitely what makes me ugly is more about my grumpy attitude than my exterior. Unfortunately, not everyone gets that. Great post!
Visiting from A to Z!
https://theconsultingwriter.wordpress.com/
No, I find beauty in wrinkles too! And Grey hair! And pot-bellies! And bald heads. I worked in a nursing home for years. Much beauty to be found there!
DeleteOh, I love what you just said about the folks in nursing homes! Those wrinkles could tell so many stories!
ReplyDeleteDarian and Harley are so fortunate to have you engage with them this way! My parents were great, but I don't ever recall me or my friends being invited to express our opinions or philosophies like that.
Oh man, I see so much ugliness masquerading behind smiling faces. I'd better stop right there! :)
Yes, I loved my elders!! I don't think my mom talked with me about many of the things we talk about. But it was a different time then. That is the worst kind of ugliness that masquerades behind a smile!!
DeleteVery interesting conversation you had with the kids. I'm sure you got them thinking!
ReplyDeleteIt got us all to thinking!
Deletebeyond ugly shoes
ReplyDeleteAren't they?
DeleteUgly definitely does not apply only to physical appearance. I have been very fortunate to have met very few truly ugly people and had very few very ugly experiences.
ReplyDeleteAnd those shoes! I don't think my brain can even fully process whatever the heck might be going on there.
LOL! Mine either!
DeleteNope not people, every Mom I know thinks her newborn baby is just beautiful! When I think Ugly I think horrid and nasty.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a teenager we had a local band called The Unbelievable Uglies...they were fantastic! :)
You are so right!!
DeleteI'm glad you talked to the kids about this. It seems to be so important in the American youth culture, this being beautiful. Or at least not ugly. I don't remember that ever being an issue in Sweden when I was young. It probably has changed now. We didn't have any mean girls either. In high school, I mean.
ReplyDeleteI remember the mean girls!! Way too well. But I don't think we worried as much about ugly people!
DeleteThat scummy film that forms on the top of stagnant water. It really grosses me out.
ReplyDeleteThere was a woman who worked for me at my last job, summers only, and some of the guys made fun of her appearance, but she was very good at her job, and a kind soul. Everyone respected her work, at least, but I hated hearing things that were said. (she had a large mole on her face.)
Yes, scummy film on water is ugly!! It is sad when people make fun of other people's appearance. Sadly, I think most of us do it!
DeleteMany bugs are ugly!! I hate spiders and June bugs.
ReplyDeleteLOL! I don't fear any bugs. And thank goodness spiders don't bother me either. Now mice!! A whole 'nother story!!
DeleteMy favorite ugly saying is "Ugly is as Ugly does"....I have known a lot of attractive people who were ugly through and through.
ReplyDeleteYes, so have I!!
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