week she is asking:What 10 Things You Would put in a Christmas Letter? You all know the ones. Those braggy letters that tells all about the wonders and wealth of the past year for the sender. I have said for years that I was going to write my own special Christmas letter and this is what it would include (tongue in cheek)
1. The house burned to the ground this past January. We weren't able to save a thing.
2. Our oldest is starting his 8th year in jail. I don't think the judges will ever listen to his appeal.
3. Grandpa lost another front tooth. He looks so adorable now with all four of them gone.
4. The old car finally quit running. We might have to get another one. For now, though, we have our bicycles.
5. The dog ran out the door and was hit by the little, old lady who lives down the street. Luckily it didn't kill him. We only had to amputate his leg. So now he only has three.
6. In April we won the lottery. We got $10.00. We had such a good time spending it. Didn't believe we really had that many relatives. But we do believe in sharing! And money sure doesn't last long does it?
7. Was so happy when our youngest took up growing houseplants. And they were so nice and green (under those grow lights he rigged up). I can't understand why the cops took all of them when they paid us a visit.
8. For those of you who don't know, Papa died and he left us this summer. We miss him terribly.
9. We took our first vacation this year. Yep, we drove all the way to the state capital. Paid our taxes and drove home. None of those high class fancy hotels for this family.
10. We now lovingly sign our names and tell everyone that other than #8 this was all just a pack of lies and was meant to bring you some holiday cheer.

Hysterical I LOVED it
ReplyDeleteThanks...it is just what I have always wanted to write but never had the nerve.
DeletePerfect! So wonderful!
ReplyDeleteThanks Kym
DeleteThank you Paula, for finishing my evening with a laugh. I needed that.
ReplyDeleteWe all have to have a laugh now and then
DeleteI got a kick out of #7 for personal reasons, LOL. I did spot #8 as a "fact".
ReplyDeleteSome of the letters people send out can be so self serving I do think!
betty
#7 had a personal ring to it for me too.....LOL!
DeleteOh my goodness, what a fun idea to send a letter full of imaginary details. I try not to snort out laughter at work, but, alas, I did.
ReplyDeleteSorry to make you snort at work. There is nothing like a good snort/laugh!!
DeleteVery funny and #3 made me laugh out loud because it reminded me of my Dad :)
ReplyDeleteIt had a tiny bit of Richard in there too! I am glad that you enjoyed it.
DeleteThat was very funny!
ReplyDeleteThanks Jeanette...that is how I meant it!
DeleteOh my! I may steal this next year!
ReplyDeleteGo for it Susan!
Delete