Sunday, October 5, 2014


This is part of my 31 Day Five Minute Free Writes challenge within a challenge.Letters to Richard, my recently deceased husband. I will be linking up with 31 Day Challenge at The Nester's as well as at Heading Home. For a list of all my letters you can go here.

My dearest Richard,

In her magazine, Oprah writes an article every month entitled "What I Know for Sure". Now you know how I feel about Oprah...but that isn't what today's letter is about. Today I want to tell you what I know for sure about our life together.

I know that it wasn't always easy. Life never is. We raised two boys. We both had busy careers. We bought a house. And many cars. And traveled. And fought. Then made up. A typical marriage.

But I do know that you always had my back. Even when you thought what I was doing was crazy...remember the gate on the bathroom wall (and remember how much you liked it afterwards?)You never, ever said "I told you so" but I'll bet there were times that you wanted to.

I do know how much you loved me. And the boys. And the grandchildren. You were never one to be shy about telling us how much you loved us. And I know for sure that you did.

I also know how much I miss you. Just the little things. Like you sitting in your chair, remote in had, Guide on,  tiny picture in the corner....yes, believe it or not, I miss watching TV like that. Sometimes I have to turn the guide on just to remember you. 

And I also know for sure that you are watching over us. Harley, especially, tells me she feels you in the house. I think that is awesome. I feel you too, my love.

What I don't know for sure can't be written about in five minutes. I am not even sure it matters. What does matter is that I miss you ever second of every minute. And every minutes of every hour....every single day.

Until later,



  1. I know you were deeply loved Paula, and loved deeply.


    1. Yes I know it too Betty. Probably why this is so damn hard.

  2. Immaterial, perhaps .... but now I'm really intrigued to know what you 'really' think of Oprah. :)
    ... and learn more about that gate on the bathroom wall? (Have you any pictures?)

    Still, I agree with what Betty just wrote. You were deeply loved. In reality, I wonder how many people can 'know' that.

    PS - How cool that Harley feels Richard's presence!

    1. Well Myra....I am NOT a fan of Oprah's. She is too sanctimonious, too full of herself, too preachy, just too Oprah for my taste. I liked her a lot in the beginning. Before she got so Oprah-like. Does that make sense. Yes I will take a picture of the gate on the bathroom wall.....I wanted a theme for the Bathroom. So I called it the Garden Bath. Can't have a garden without a gate. So Richard built me one and I hung it. It's looking a bit tired and haggard now (like me) but I'll post a picture for you soon. Yes it is cool that Harley feels his presence. She talks to him every night she says. And she says he talks back to her...inside her head. :)

  3. He is right there, sitting next to you, watching the little screen in the corner of the tv.

  4. Replies
    1. Thanks Lisa. I think writing these letters are helping me. Although right now I feel as if I am grieving harder than ever


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