This is part of my 31 Day Five Minute Free Writes challenge within a challenge. I will be linking up with 31 Day Challenge at The Nester's as well as at Heading Home. For a list of all my letters you can go here.
Not a day goes by that I don't ask 'why did you have to go?' I know that it was inevitable. But that doesn't make it easier to accept. Because, no matter what the explanation, you still had to go.
Have you heard me crying and asking why you had to go? Have you heard me tell people that I would take you back and go through that horrible care-giving stuff all over again just to be able to look over at your chair and see you sitting there? Do you look down from Heaven and see me stuck in my grief and not taking any steps forward? What would you say to me, I wonder? When I am being really honest I tell people that I'm pissed off at God that you had to go. I hear those little intakes of breath (from the real believers) and then they offer me all the reassurances that are supposed to make me feel better. But none of them have lost their husbands yet. So it doesn't make me feel better.
Did you know that I am sick this week. That's probably why this letter sounds so cranky. You know how I am when I am sick. No one knew it better than you. You just left me alone. Stayed out of my way. Let me be sick. I loved that about you. I loved everything about you. Even the things I didn't love, I loved.
But I have to go....my five minutes are up!
Forever and always,