I wasn't Ready

Tonight I went over to Kate's blog to see what word was going to challenge me this week for my Five Minute Friday writing challenge. When I arrived what I found was Kate talking about the 31 Day Challenge that is hosted every October by The Nester. (You can click here if you are interested in checking out The Nester's 31 Day Challenge from last year.)She hasn't yet posted the details for this year. I wrote for this challenge last year. My topic was Practicing Patience. If you are interested in reading all my posts you can go here. Now Kate is offering a twist to the challenge. It is going to be like a challenge within a challenge. She wants us to write a post everyday in October in just five minutes. And she has a list of prompts that we can follow.It's like having 31 Five Minute Friday writing challenge. I think I can do that! What about you?

Now for today's challenge for Five Minute Friday. The prompt is:

READY

I wasn't ready. But it wasn't up to me. The time had come. His days were getting shorter. We were struggling with keeping him comfortable. It was getting harder for him to breathe. His color faded.  As white as a sheet, as they say.  And was very pale. The oxygen tubing snaked from the tank to his nose and carried with it the very life he needed. His chest rose and fell. But the breathing was shallow. Sometimes I had to get right down close to see if he was still alive. I knew that it would be a matter of hours. Maybe minutes. But I wasn't ready.

I know that it is selfish to want to keep him the way he was. But that is what I wanted. I would even take him back today; just the way he was.  So I could sit at his bedside and hold his hand. And tell him I loved him. Just so I could smell his smell. And wait for him to wake up. And watch that small little smile form on his lips when he saw me. Yes, that is crazy. And that is selfish.

But, I wasn't ready.