I still have to get up every morning. I still have to cook and clean the house. Even when my heart is ripped to pieces. Life goes on. The grass still grows (and needs mowed), the sun still shines. People still smile and laugh. Life goes on. We still have to eat and drink and we still have to live. I have two kids to raise to 'full-term'. I always thought that was a funny term indicating the end of pregnancy. Full-term is when they are out of the house and standing on their own two feet. In my mind anyway.
The clothes still need washed and folded. I have held his close and tried to inhale his very essence. It's slipping away. His smell is dwindling. I open his aftershave bottle and sniff. I put a drop on my pillow at night. I know I have to go on living. But there are moments, I will admit, when I don't want to. I want to join him. I miss him so much. I knew that it would be hard. But NOT this hard. No way can one prepare. I just will keep moving forward: one day at a time. One step in front of the other. And cry. Until I am dry. And then tomorrow I will cry again.
Memorial Service is ready to go. It will be this coming Saturday at 4 p.m. It will be a really special service. We have friends speaking and grandchildren participating. The Boy Scouts are involved and the Army is coming! There will be an awesome music/picture video that I hope to share here later on. He was a special man. He will be missed.
But, life goes on............