Here is My A To Z Challenge. An adventure. My attempt at telling you my story. I care for my husband who has end-stage Parkinson's disease.
As I continue on this little trip.
I've found a saint or two.
Some know who they are
And others might guess
But there are really more than a few.
Some of the saints I have never met.
They come to read my blog.
They offer me words of encouragement.
Which pulls me out of my fog.
The saints can come in many forms.
They can be family or friends.
I am thankful for all of these saints.
And will be to the very end.
My life, at times, seems to be filled with sadness.
It seems too soon, some say.
I shouldn't feel so much sadness.
For he hasn't yet gone away.
Yes, that is right! He is still right here.
But not the man he used to be.
And I can't help that I yearn for that.
For the days that used to be.
It fills my heart with sorrow.
You have no idea.
More heartache, I try not to borrow.
But if you haven't been in this place
Where I find more darkness than light.
You haven't the right to judge me
The sadness I feel is alright.
I know the saints will hold my hand
And keep me standing up.
While sadness and sorrow overflow my cup.
And now I take this moment to thank everyone who has offered me a kind word, a hug (even the virtual ones),advice, the nod of a head, a few hours of company, a hand with lifting and caring for him. Thanks to all the saints who have crossed my path in this journey.
I am glad there are saints in your journey! I can see the sorrow you have; my FIL had that type of sorrow with his wife who had Parkinson's; she wasn't the wife he was "used to" and he always missed that wife, even though he couldn't bear the thought of her dying before him (which is how it happened). There is lots of sadness indeed in this world; I'm glad the next world doesn't include that.ReplyDelete
Thank you so much Betty. You know that you are one of my Saints!Delete
Hi Paula - it's essential you can put out how you feel - and it's so good to know that it helps you a great deal with all the 'saints' you've had around you, and have now met via the blog and internet ... supportive 'saints' can always help lift our souls, even in dire times ... my thoughts as you continue on enlightening us to the sorrows and sadness you feel, which I hope are somewhat soothed with your'saints' ... all the very best - HilaryReplyDelete
You are one of my Saints Hilary...my soul is soothed!Delete
Wow, powerful post. We've recently gone through cancer treatment with my mother-in-law and I don't think we would have gotten through it, without the help and support of friends, family and other 'saints' :)ReplyDelete
It takes a village...Thanks for stopping by!Delete
What a touching post....someone should publish it...perhaps you should write a book Paula, about your caregiving journey.ReplyDelete
Thank you Wendy...you are one of my biggest Saints..I know that you get it! Right now writing on my blog is enough. Who knows what the future holds, however.Delete
Yes, indeed the sadness you feel is alright. I am glad you have some saints helping you along your journey.ReplyDelete
Thank you Fancy!Delete
*hugs* you know my "Grief" post! It is so true. And the saints/angels that come into our lives to help us process our pain and suffering to get us through to the next day. You know it. You live it with me! <3 and hugs and prayers for you!ReplyDelete
Jamie Dement (LadyJai)
My A to Z
Caring for My Veteran
Yes Lady Jai I do get it...hard job. One we didn't ask for.Delete
Paula, there are tears in my eyes after reading this. It is so good that you have saints in your life and even better that you can reach out and tell us all how you feel and what you are going through. Take care ~ Hugs, IngerReplyDelete
Thank you Inger...I am happy to have all of my blogging saints!!Delete
Thanks for visiting my blog yesterday Paula. This is a beautiful poem. Full of sadness yes, but also of light that is coming from all your "saints". God bless you and your family.ReplyDelete
I'm your newest follower :)
Happy to have you follow along Katie. Good to meet you.Delete
No one has aright to tell you what you should or shouldn't be feeling right now. Grieving doesn't begin when a person dies. When my father was diagnosed with cancer and given 6 weeks to live (which stretched into 2.5 years) there was certainly a period of mourning that carried through the whole stretch. He tried to hide how he was changing, and we appreciated it, but his diminished capacity was hard to miss.ReplyDelete
Thank goodness for the saints around us to who love us through difficult times, eh?
True Heroes from A to Z
Those who don't want us to talk about his dying are the ones that just can't come to terms with the fact themselves. Richard and I talk about it. And we are very open with the grandkids. We do not know when death will come. But we know that it will!! Thanks for visiting Crystal!Delete
Here's my S's for you - strong, special, spectacular, sharp, sensible, supportive, sound, sturdy,solid and definitely a saint! Look forward to your poems every day. Virtual hugs to you my cyber pal.ReplyDelete
And a virtual hug right back at you my friend!Delete
Let's hear it for the saints! I've personally witnessed their caring and support. Regardless whether we'll ever have an opportunity to meet face-to-face, I hold my bloggy friends in higher regard than many of those with whom I work and play.ReplyDelete
Me too, Myra, me too!Delete