We have good days and we have bad days. Hope you will follow along....A TO Z!
I long for quiet days.
I long for longer nights.
Why is it that the days seem to drag.
While the nights just fly by?
Anyone who is a caregiver knows this is true.
Too much to do and it goes on and on.
We long for the times when they are sleeping
And the quiet falls over our homes.
But instead of us falling down exhausted
To catch a snooze or two.
We end up surfing the net or cleaning up.
It is just what we caregivers do.
I have noticed that he has become quirky.
He hasn't always been.
He has developed new habits and ways
I don't know where to begin.
He used to keep his thoughts to himself.
Now he doesn't mind sharing them.
We say he no longer has a filter.
I try to warn people in advance.
But he says whatever he's thinking.
And sometimes it isn't so nice.
I have learned to roll with the punches.
He's still the same to me.
But there have been times that I have seen
Others shudder and then look 'funny' at me.
My husband was never one to argue.
He didn't like to quarrel.
If anything he went out of his way.
To avoid any kind of fight.
But since his stroke.
And his personality change.
There are days that's all he does.
It seems I can never do anything right.
If I call it to his attention.
He tells me that isn't what he meant.
And that alone will set him off.
To quarrel with me again.
I long for him to get quiet.
In his quirky way.
But I also like how he quarrels
He's a bit feisty, I'd say.
I remember years ago one of the doctors I worked for said of a patient who had a stroke and lost a lot of his ability to speak except for cuss words, and his wife said he never cussed before the stroke, that sometimes after a brain injury one becomes less inhibited with what they might say aloud, lots of us might think a cuss word but not say it aloud, but those sometimes affected with a stroke just go ahead and say it. I'm sure the same is probably happening with your husband, but I'm sure it can be embarrasing at times.ReplyDelete
We find it far more funny than we do embarrassing. I always try to warn those who might be offended!Delete
You have done such an amazing job with your posts. You not only express so clearly what it feels like to be a caregiver, but you also give us an isight into your husband’s struggle with this horrible disease.ReplyDelete
Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you Lyndagrace. Writing and sharing my story helps me to live it!Delete
Perhaps the quarrelsomeness is due to boredom. He was never one to quarrel before because he was busy living life and having fun. Now all he can do is sit around and be taken care of so perhaps he gets his enjoyment by saying things to shock people and relieves the monotony by picking quarrels. Or maybe it is just part of the Parkinson's. Who knows.....just keep laughing!!ReplyDelete
It could be! I am sure that he has to be bored. I know that I would be..Delete
People truly do experience a change in personality and it's typically the opposite of how they were before. Your experience is what I've heard from other caregivers in the same boat. You are wise to roll with the punches, because you really can't change the course. I did once read how much music helped. It helps calm irritated people, people who've lost memory etc. Not loud, more like white noise almost. You might try that and see how he reacts. Traveling SuitcaseReplyDelete
Music would just irritate him, I think. He was never a big music listener....He likes the TV on all the timeDelete
Mom had a year where she could cuss like a frat boy on a bender. It was so bizarre. The kids were much younger and they thought it was hysterical. I don't know what happened to it - she just stopped one day. Now she'll toss out a cuss word if she is really frustrated by not being able to do something. You just never know what she is going to say or how she is going to say it!ReplyDelete
I have taken care of many stroke patients over the years who would cuss like sailors and their family says they never did that beforeDelete
Quirky ... I love that word. You're right, Paula. - As well, it conjures up another of my favorite words -- feisty.ReplyDelete
Throughout this incredible journey, I'm most taken by your resilience and humor!
Hope your 'today' brings reasons to laugh!
Maybe people who are quirky can be feisty as well.Delete
Quarrel - I feel it's good to quarrel at times, in right doses :D It actually removes the frustration out of oneself and could even bring in some relaxation!ReplyDelete
I think it has been said that I like to quarrel as well.Delete
Hi Paula .. you've adjusted so well to his quirky changes - and these little snippets are so interesting to think about ... I admire you hugely - and I know tomorrow won't be that different - have a peaceful Easter - with many thoughts HilaryReplyDelete
Thank you Hilary I am glad you found me. Have a Happy Easter!Delete
I suppose the quarreling is good for times also, but I can see how it could wear you down. Chin up. You are awesome.ReplyDelete
Life's Ride In Between
Thanks Katy! I don't let it bother me too much!Delete
Caregivers don't nearly get as much praise as they should. You are a strong and courageous woman, Paula. Sending you prayers and hugs.ReplyDelete
Thank you so much Chrys. And thanks for stopping by!Delete
My heart goes out to you, Paula, and your husband. This is no easy trip you're on, and you're one brave woman to not only taking care of him, but also in sharing the journey, the everyday, hard reality of it.ReplyDelete
Damyanti, Co-host A to Z Challenge April 2014, My Latest post
Thank you for stopping by. It is not an easy trip but one I have chosen to takeDelete
I can so relate. I've shared with you before, my dad has parkinson's. It IS the oddest disease. Your poem is so great and personal and true. God bless, you girl! It IS a long road at times.ReplyDelete
It sure has been a long road. We have now been on Hospice for a year. A whole year that I never thought he would see. Thanks for checking in!Delete