Here is My A To Z Challenge. An adventure. My attempt at telling you my story. I care for my husband who has end-stage Parkinson's disease.
He can be very mixed up.
Then some days he is so clear.
It is hard to know which it will be.
But he always knows me.
I am thankful for that.
He forgets he can't walk.
He forgets he has this disease.
He forgets what the date is,
Or the day of the week.
He hardly ever gets the year right.
When we asks him if he knows.
It's crazy how the brain works.
How it takes away certain things.
He always remembers his childhood.
But rarely remembers he read today's paper.
Or when was the last time he stood.
And both of us can get so moody.
Me more so than him.
He's always been so even.
And my patience can really wear thin.
It takes a lot of time, for everything he does
And I just want to rush him.
Then neither of us win.
It's usually when I'm pushing him.
That he gets moody, too.
But my biggest of worries has been money.
That we never have enough.
In the beginning it was so stressful.
He had always handled this stuff.
I had to learn all of the ins and outs.
And who he paid and when.
I've worked it out and now it's not too bad.
Then next month I get to worry again.
It's true what they say about money
It doesn't buy happiness, honey.
I am so glad that your husband does still remember you; I know it is gut wrenching for those family members whose loved ones don't remember them or takes a bit for them to remember who they are. What I have learned about money is that somehow, because he promises it, God always meets needs. I wish I could completely trust in him on that, but he's come through time after time after time.ReplyDelete
He has come through for me too Betty. More than once. But it is the worry that is so hard. Yes, I feel very fortunate that Richard does not have Alzheimer's. It would be devastating if he didn't know who we were.Delete
The best memories in would never get mixed up in one's mind, and the most loved ones too.ReplyDelete
Money, for sure doesn't buy happiness :)
Yes he almost always remembers just the good stuff. However, there are times the bad stuff gets mixed in and then there is no straightening him out.Delete
This is such a difficult time for you. I hope you keep up blogging and gain many new friend through it. I certainly have and as I am older now and live in a pretty isolated place, it has really helped me. You will find that bloggers are very helpful, caring, and supportive. I have signed up to follow your blog and put it on my blog list so I can keep in touch.ReplyDelete
Thanks Inger WelcomeDelete
But it does buy us a good glass of wine every once in a while and that does bring us happiness LOLReplyDelete
Ha! Ha! That is does Wendy. Or a nice bottle of vodka!Delete
I'm right there with you! While my husband isn't suffering Parkinson's, Dementia, or Alzheimers, he does suffer memory loss from TBI and PTSD and Chronic Pain. Yes, we get mixed up and moody. And when your family takes on such medical bills, you NEVER have enough money! <3ReplyDelete
Jamie Dement (LadyJai)
My A to Z
Caring for My Veteran
Our isn't medical bills...he is on Medicare and thank goodness it pays for all of Hospice. Ours is that I had to quit my full-time nursing job and we are living on his social security and have two teens to raise. But it could be worse. Hugs to you Lady Jai!Delete
I appreciate you sharing your true feelings with us about your experiences. It opens others to see inside the struggles of those about us, so thank you.ReplyDelete
True Heroes from A to Z
You are welcome and thank you for visiting me.Delete
I never had to experience taking care of anyone with Parkinson's, but my dad just passed away from esophageal cancer. At the end, it spread to his brain and he had problems with his memory and hallucinations. He knew us, but he would think he was somewhere else. Now, my husband's grandpa is suffering from Alzheimer's and the really hard part is explaining it to the kids when he has no idea who they are. My daughter got a birthday card from him that said "to my daughter". Things like this can cause all members of the family to get moody at times, but its funny how it can also bring a family closer together. Hugs.ReplyDelete
That is so true. I am sorry for your loss! I took care of many patients during my nursing years with esophageal cancer. It is tough!Delete
I just started reading your blog at M and I've gone back all the way through to A, and a bit beyond the start of the A to Z Challenge. I found it to be very warm, human and full of spirit. I can see that life must sometimes be a great struggle, but you are getting on and looking it straight in the eye. I'm just visiting from the http://olivegroveview.blogspot.gr/ReplyDelete
Thanks for visiting Mark. Life can be tough, that's for sure!Delete
Hi again, Just wanted to let you know that Samson is a Samoyed. I will write more about him under the letter S.ReplyDelete
Thanks for coming and letting me know what kind of dog he is!Delete
Following from Blogging AtoZ.ReplyDelete
I'm writing "Things My Husband Has Broken" A to Z at http://AMomsPointOfView.com
Come by and check it out.
Thanks for stopping by Kimberly. I will swing by your place for a visitDelete
What these diseases do to the human mind is terrifying. I suppose being able to recall one's childhood with clarity is comforting - to them, at least. I don't pretend to know what it's like, but my heart hurts for you (and other caregivers) who must stand by and simply observe.ReplyDelete
It is one of the hardest jobs that we are never prepared for...like raising kidsDelete
Money probably doesn't buy happiness - I have no idea, but it buys pizza on an especially hectic night and a giant tub of ice cream after a day of gritted teeth and a massage after a string of "clean ups on aisle kitchen, bathroom and hallway"!!! You are so amazing.ReplyDelete
You are right. And I know, regardless of what people say, that I would be happier if I had more money. But we don't so might as well not whine about it! Thank goodness I don't grit my teeth. I just act like a bitch. Or so I'm told!Delete
gosh this brought back so many memories of my Grandad, who had Parkinsons too. He had it since before I was born, but I still remember him when he showed very few symptoms and could play football with us in the garden. But most of the time I knew him was not like that and I remember him loving, warm, but frustrated by not being able to make himself understood. Mostly though, I remember his wonderful eyes :-)ReplyDelete
Visiting from A-Z Challange
It is frustrating to all of us when we can't understand what Richard is saying. Thanks for dropping byDelete
...and it puts you in a position where it means the most.ReplyDelete
Life's Ride In Between
Yes it doesDelete