Laughing, Learning, and Lonely

Here is My A To Z Challenge. An adventure. My attempt at telling you my story. I care for my husband who has end-stage Parkinson's disease.

We have good days and we have bad days. Hope you will follow along....A TO Z!

There are days when all I can do is laugh.
Otherwise I would just cry.
Sometimes the days are so funny.
And he can be so cute.
His toothless smile lights up his face.
And makes my day complete.

With this whole process I am learning
That there is much to learn.
I haven't mastered patience
Of that I've continued to yearn.
But I can quickly clean a spill.
And make him feel okay.
For it's not his fault his hands shake
Or that his arms don't bend.
It's not his fault his legs won't work
Or that he cannot stand.
It's not his fault his voice is so soft
That I have to ask him twice.
It's not his fault I am impatient
And sometimes not so nice.

My days are often lonely.
He hasn't much to say.
We sit together in the same room.
Yet I feel he is miles away.
I wonder what he's thinking.
As he stares so long at nothing.
I wonder where he goes.
I wonder what he sees out there.
I wonder if he feels alone.
We often talk.
But we don't say much.
I keep him oriented as much as I can.
I want him to feel that he is still 'the man.'
Yet I long for the other times
When we talked and dreamed and planned.
For we are now living what we never thought would be.
And I just wish that I could see what it is
That he sees!