Here it is: My A To Z Challenge. An adventure. My attempt at telling you my story. I care for my husband who has end-stage Parkinson's disease.
There is a story about juices.
One I like to tell.
My loved one used to hate oranges.
So never orange juice would he drink.
Until one day I had no other.
So I took a chance and poured a glass.
He drank it down and asked for more.
"What is that juice?" he asked.
But I wasn't about to tell.
Cause I knew he wouldn't want more.
So we just called it the good stuff.
Funny how the brain works
When they've had a stroke.
Funny how it changes them.
In ways you'd never expect.
Like how my man became jealous.
When he never was before.
He was sure I was cheating.
Every time I went out the door.
I would try to reassure him.
Sometimes it would work.
But I always came back home to him.
And that was the important thing.
I worried when we got a male nurse.
I was sure he would think he was my 'friend'
By this time, thankfully, he wasn't jealous.
But he never really cared for the man.
Do you know what it means to be jaded?
It was a word I didn't know
But a friend recently called me jaded.
So off to Google I was to go.
Yes, I am worn out.
Yes, I am weary to my soul.
So go ahead and call me jaded.
Cause I am cynical to the core.
I will be jaded as I serve his juice
And he lets the jealousy go.
That was cute about the juice, glad it worked out that he was okay drinking it. It would be hard to try to deal with his jealousy rationally when you know his thoughts are not the thoughts he would have had if he didn't suffer with all the repercussions of his illness. I understand jaded, its something I wouldn't wish on people, but sometimes our circumstances get us there.ReplyDelete
(glad you are enjoying our A/Z posts with our "walks")
Yes, not everything about our lives are so dismal. Thank God! And his jealously secretly brought us some laughs. Not in front of him mind you. But laughs nevertheless. Yes, I am enjoying walking with you everydayDelete
Oh I completely get this. The things people call us, caretakers, are terrible. -Hugs-ReplyDelete
Sometimes it is. Most people mean well, I think. But I have gotten lots of advice on what I should or should not be doing....Delete
I have a word for the person that called you jaded and it begins with an A not a J.ReplyDelete
LOL....you are so funny and bring a smile to my face.Delete
The person who called you jaded might try walking a mile in your shoes....ReplyDelete
That's what I told them. They think they have.Delete
Your friend might have been trying to help you. It wears you down in ways you stop recognising. Usually only afterwards do you realise what you've really gone through. And for some 'afterwards' is a long time coming - and you don't want it to come, either, or feel guilty if you do, which is worse.ReplyDelete
Sending love and hope you can get a short break somehow.
Blogging from Alpha to Zulu in April
I do get short, short breaks. Thank you for stopping by.Delete
I can see the humor along with the pain in your writings. Thank you for being my new blog friend. I look forward to reading your posts each day and getting your comment on mine. I wish I could do something to make your path a little easier. I can't but I can send you hugs ... and... I am doing that.ReplyDelete
This blog is my outlet. Thanks for reading and leaving me comments. That is good enough for me!Delete
I almost changed my word today to Jaded! I am too. I'd have to slap the person who called me Jaded - you know, it's one thing to call yourself jaded, quite another for someone else to chime in with their opinion! But this latest hospital trip has worn me right down to the bone. I need a cape with a big J on it - we deserve to revel in our jaded-ness (is that a word?). My mom hated Chinese food before she got sick...now she is all over the Sesame Chicken and Mongolian Beef and egg rolls and can eat a pan of potstickers if you don't watch her! Stay fabulous! LReplyDelete
tired, bored, or lacking enthusiasm, typically after having had too much of something.
"meals to tempt the most jaded appetites"
synonyms: surfeited, sated, satiated, glutted; dulled, blunted, deadened, inured; tired, weary, wearied; unmoved, blasé, apathetic
"a taste exotic enough for the most jaded palate"
I am not at all upset that someone called me jaded....I AM tired, bored, and lack enthusiasm for all this caregiving crap...so I wasn't in the least offended by being called that. I don't think the person who called me that knew the meaning of the word
That's so crazy about the orange juice. Like Richard, I do NOT like oranges ... in any form; honestly, I can't recall the last time I ate anything "orange." Then, one night a couple years ago I had such a vivid dream -- I was incredibly thirsty for orange juice and just couldn't get enough orange juice. Literally, I was tasting and savoring the pulp. My hubby had a good laugh the next morning, and actually went out to buy a carton. I tasted a little ... nope. Sorry to go off on a tangent, but that makes me realize how powerful is our subconscious! Does Richard still enjoy his 'good stuff'?ReplyDelete
PS - I, too, have a thought (or six) about that person who called you 'jaded.' That's a harsh-sounding word, isn't it? Hopefully, he/she didn't mean it the way it came out.
I think it was meant differently because it was a nicer word than the person really wanted to use. He hasn't had anymore orange juice lately. I'll have to try it again and see if he still likes itDelete
Paula, kudos to you for taking what must be so difficult and painful and turning it into a rich creative outlet. Many blessings to you on this journey.ReplyDelete
Thank you so much!!Delete
You're amazing to be doing this caretaking worth with humor and poignancy. I think it's great that you are sharing your story, because it could help others.ReplyDelete
Aloha! Maui Jungalow
It helps me to write it! I hope it will help others to read it. It is a hard job.Delete