Here it is: My A To Z Challenge. An adventure. My attempt at telling you my story. I care for my husband who has end-stage Parkinson's disease.
Oh how he loves his ice cream.
And it makes him cough the most.
He likes to eat it at bedtime.
And then coughs, and coughs, and coughs.
But we still get him his ice cream.
Cause what he loves is what it's about.
No matter about my irritation.
Which most often comes from coughing.
How can I be so irritated, you say?
It doesn't take much at times.
Sometimes it is just the little things.
Cause about the big things I just can't think
I'm too irritated by things so small.
I have to let go of the big things, that's all.
And believe it or not he becomes irritated
As well
With all of us.
And sometimes it is cute.
But most of the time it's not.
I hate everything about my impatience.
Which is not about to change.
It's been with me for a lifetime.
So therefore, it's out of my control.
Or that's what I like to think.
I feel so much guilt with the impatience.
So I don't like to linger here.
Or maybe I am just too impatient
To really care.
So bring me a bowl of ice cream
Let the impatience and irritation go.
They can come again another day.
They will, of that I know.
Hubby's mom had Parkinson's; she loved her ice cream too. When she was able to go out and about, every few days my FIL would take her to McDonald's for lunch; they would have their usual chicken sandwich but she always was waiting to get her ice cream cone afterwards. She didn't have the coughing though with it. I think if my FIL was to see this entry (he passed back in 2011, same year as my MIL) he would have understood your impatience and irritation. He had difficulties with my MIL and her dementia and her talking "nonsense" as he would imply. I always met her where she was at. If she was remembering things of the past, I was there with her. If she was at the present, I was there too. I didn't see her much her last year of life, but I tried to be supportive of hubby to visit as often as he could (its really a long complicated story). Oops, went off on a tangent there, sorry :)
ReplyDeletebetty
Not a problem Betty. sometimes it is good to share and vent. Yes I think impatience and irritation are just an everyday part of being a 24/7 caregiver! It is not a job for sissies, that's for sure
DeleteHi Paula .. when dealing with the elderly who are not too well - it's a necessary evil for us impatient ones to have to slow down in all we do and expect slowness too ... You are managing it well - and realise that irritation and impatience come with this territory for now ... Ice-cream is always a good and easy comfort food and I'm glad your hubby can still enjoy some, even with the coughing fits ... with thoughts - Hilary
ReplyDeleteThanks Hilary. There are times I think, "withhold the ice cream and no coughing" but then I think of the pleasure he gets from his ice cream....
DeleteNice post. Impatience is indeed a thing that must be avoided. But it's fine at times :)
ReplyDeleteI wish I knew how one can avoid impatience. Give me some tips!!
DeleteMmmmmmmmm. Hot fudge sundae with cashews!!!!
ReplyDeleteThat sounds delish....but no cashews. He would choke to death on those :)
DeleteA touching post. I helped look after my mother-in-law following a stroke. I could patiently tend to her needs whereas my husband's lack of patience with her brought about impatience in me regarding her!
ReplyDeleteps.............ice cream is my answer to many things!
I wish I was more patience because my impatience makes me even more impatient! Thanks for visiting.
DeleteImpatience. We all have it! It's okay. My stepdad loves his ice cream, too. It's one of the few things that he is able to swallow.
ReplyDeleteYep, same with Richard. Anything that doesn't need chewing....
DeleteOne of my new favorite games is guessing which words you will use in your posts...I just knew ice cream would be there. The secret (or not-so-secret) weapon of caregivers! I guessed impatience too...it's an occupational hazard. I'm off to sneak a spoonful of cookies and cream before I head back to the hospital! Thinking of you,
ReplyDeleteLisa
Oh Lisa that is so funny. Yes Richard loves his ice cream. Impatience is an occupational hazard. I wonder if there is extra pay for that :) Hope mom is getting better
DeleteI helped mom take care of her sister who had dementia-alzheimer's, she was 13 years older than mom As I recall mom struggled with impatience as well.
ReplyDeleteEvery person deals with their own situation in differently.
Once I walked into mom's and my aunt was sitting on the couch with her nurses aid who came in for 6 hours mon-frid. I went to the kitchen table and we could hear my Aunt say to the Aid,.."look at those bitches, they don't do anything for me". Of course the complete opposite was the truth, from bathing, clothing, diapering,,really everyting 24/7...I went into hysterics laughing my ass off since to me it was funny.
My mother God Bless her burst into tears...she was so hurt by my Aunts words.
We all are who we are Paula and keep on keeping on!
My dear husband often sits and tells people that I hit him. He will vary the stories and tell them over and over. (This from a man who can't remember he read the paper this morning) I love the watch the person who is hearing his story when the light bulb comes on that he is just telling a "lie". Then it is funny to me too. But I also have the moments of bursting into tears. I am always telling him that I can call the cops if he wants me to....but he always declines. Thanks for this response. Jen
DeleteYou are doing an excellent job (although not always pleasant for you, your husband or us) of sharing your daily triumphs and challenges. Watching a loved one change and slip away is difficult no matter the circumstances. We leave next week to visit Mom-in-law in Texas who hasn't known who we are for the last 3 years, but we visit because it is important to us and her.
ReplyDeleteYou have the right idea...go visit for yourself! That is important even if she doesn't know you
DeleteI think you're right Paula, the agents checking make decisions on their own in many airports, what is ok at one is not at another, then again...could depend on the mood of the person, the day of the week etc. So much of it seems so silly. Like taking off your shoes, we do here in the states. I did in Madrid and they old me not to...strange I thought...but certainly easier. Ice Cream...I will think of you and yours next time I have some. Hubby's a big ice cream person, me I never buy it and often after he does and we have it once I have to pitch it from the freezer...been there too long and gets icky. Traveling Suitcase Thank You's
ReplyDeleteHa! Ha! I can't imagine ever throwing away ice cream
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