Well Grinch week has finally ended and we are back on track for Holidailies. Today the writing prompt is:
What do you miss most from your childhood holidays, now that you are an adult?
I wish that I wasn't the one doing all the work. I would like to help decorate the tree, knowing that I am not going to be the one that is responsible for taking it down and putting it all away. The same with all the rest of the decorations that I spread all over the house. By the time January gets here I am asking myself: why did you do this?
I wish that it wasn't up to me to decide what everyone wants or needs for Christmas? And how to afford it. And where to hide it. Or how to wrap it. I want to be a child and just wake up in the morning with the joyous expectations that the old man in the red suit has been here and answered all my dreams.
However, when I was a child I hardly remember ever having that expectation. From my 8th Christmas on my grandmother made sure that we knew there was no such thing as Santa Claus and that because my dad had died we were not to have big expectations for lots of things under the tree. She was a mean old witch. And I don't want to go back to those days ever!
However, when I was a child I hardly remember ever having that expectation. From my 8th Christmas on my grandmother made sure that we knew there was no such thing as Santa Claus and that because my dad had died we were not to have big expectations for lots of things under the tree. She was a mean old witch. And I don't want to go back to those days ever!
Dear, Dear Paula. I am so sorry that your grandma did not understand how hard it was for you to lose your Dad and then lose Santa too. I hope you find it in your heart to forgive her. It will release you from that anger you so rightfully have. Forgiveness, I find, is more for the person who is forgiving than the person forgiven. It allows you to let it go and get on with your life. May God bless and keep you Paula. Thanks for sharing these things with us.
ReplyDeleteThe thing that has helped me the most with my grandchildren is having had the kind of grandmother that I had. I always used her as the example of the kind of grandmother I never wanted to be. I don't know that I have forgiven her but I have certainly not let her stop me from getting on with my life. She was just a terrible, nasty person. And she was the only grandmother I ever had. I don't have any anger for her any longer. I am thankful to have become a much better grandmother!! And thank you for your sweet answer, Wendy. This blog is my vent and sometimes I just forget how it must sound to the outside world. But It is what it is! Isn't it?
DeleteI think blogging is absolutely more for the blogger than the audience. Kind of like a journal that we don't mind sharing.
DeleteExactly the way that I feel...
DeleteWhen I meet people like the person you described as your grandmother ... I can't help wondering what made them that way. No one is born mean. Did they not have loving parents or good adult examples in their lives? I still recognized them for who they are now ... not very nice people, but at least it takes the edge off my judgement of them as life made them into someone not very nice.
ReplyDeleteGlad life made you into someone who is a great greatmother.
I think she just liked some of us and some of us she didn't. Not all of my siblings or cousins feel the same way about her that I do.
DeleteAgh! I wish I could kick your grandma in the shin. That is terrible. I totally agree with the one being completely responsible for figuring out what everyone wants, and all that other stuff. Sometimes its overwhelming. Love you, Paula.
ReplyDeleteLOL I always wanted to kick her in the shin as well...Love you too, Cristy!
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