How many of you have teens in your home? Being patient with a teenager is nothing like being patient with a toddler. Or with an invalid husband. Teenagers sigh and roll their eyes. And sometimes stomp and slam doors. When I lost patience with my young toddlers it was usually because they were screaming or making a mess. Or refusing to take a nap. And, as most of you know, I am now a grandma. And I am raising two teens. Ages 15 and 13. And believe me it takes a lot of patience. And sometimes I am just not very good at it. So I LOSE my patience.
The things that cause me to lose patience now is when at the last moment you find out they need something for school. Or they forgot to tell you that they had an appointment somewhere. Or the calendar of events have changed. Or they are moody. (Usually that is SHE who is moody) But the 'eye-rolling' will get me every time. Or the muttered, under the breath, "whatever."
What I want to do as I practice patience with my teens is to nag less. Listen more. And learn right along with them. What I will NOT do is allow them to be disrespectful or sassy. So while I am practicing patience, they are learning how NOT to push my buttons.
I think communication is key. Hard to do sometimes, but key. What advice do you have for me?
Teenagers, I find with mine that I ALWAYS love them. I just don't always like them. My girl will be 18 in a few weeks, she is finally getting better. The last 3 1/2 years have been rough. My oldest son just turned 13. He is just beginning... Not too bad most days! Let me know how it goes, patience with teens is often hard for me to find.ReplyDelete
I think it must be a "girl thing". I raised two sons before and didn't find them to be nearly as annoying or hard to communicate with as I have found the girl to be. She is 13 going on 18 and tough. But we WILL make it!Delete
Patience with teen's attitudes can be a huge challenge. I'm fortunate that I only deal with them for 40-minutes at a time. I do a lot of centering breathing. I forget that it's part of the developmental stage for them to be forgetful about dates and times or scheduling changes. It makes me nuts as their teacher, I would have a tougher time with it if I was a parent.ReplyDelete
It is a huge challenge. I feel for their teachers, although both of my teens are terrific at school (or so I am told by the teachers). They save the attitudes for me!Delete
Oh, I feel your pain on this one. Especially the forgetfulness on their part. I tell Elexis that her forgetfulness does not constitute for an emergency on my part. I have written many a check for lunch money or other things while driving to school (horrible multitasking). Luckily now I signed up for a low balance indicator for her lunch money and that has helped tremendously. Now if I can just get her to remember other things.ReplyDelete
Our kids are given agendas on the first day of school. It is a spiral notebook like a planner. But do they use them? No Not unless granny is yelling about something.Delete
I am glad that in our middle school, the kids are given agendas and then they have agenda checks every week. In sixth grade, we had to sign on Fridays to show that we also checked their agenda. That was a bit of a pain in the butt, but totally held us all accountable. Last year they got extra credit if it was filled out for the week. Just a little incentive to get the kids to be more responsible.Delete