Monday, September 30, 2013

What Is The Meaning of Patience?

Day 1

     What is the meaning of patience?

1. the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering, without
getting angry or upset.

    Wow! Just reading the definition makes me nervous. I have trouble accepting anything like trouble, delay, or suffering. It is going to be difficult and enlightening to delve into this subject. I am hoping that you will have the 'patience' to follow along for the next 31 days.

Welcome to 31 Days of Practicing Patience

     Welcome to my blog. I am joining in with The Nester's 31 Day Challenge. I plan to write about a subject that is very, very hard for me. PATIENCE! As in, I have very little. I want to become a more patient person. I am a wife, mother, grandmother. I am caring for my invalid husband and two teenage grandchildren and I need more patience.

     Follow along with me as I delve into learning about patience, finding out why I am not patient, and maybe, just maybe, practice some patience. My daily links will be posted here.

Day 1: What is the meaning of Patience

Day 2: A good Attitude is Needed
Day 3: Suffering the Symptoms
Day 4: A Few things that make me impatient
Day 5: Patience And God
Day 6: Running out of Patience for my Patient
Day 7: What is it about standing in Line?
Day 8: Tattoo or Not?
Day 9: Mixing Teenagers and Patience
Day 10: Beloved Husband
Day 11: What the Wise Ones Have to Say
Day 12: Impatient to Pee
Day 13: Patience and Waiting
Day 14: Am I Mentally Ill?
Day 15: Lost Patience with My Car
Day 16 God Speaks to Me
Day 17: A Wonderfully Patient Cab Driver
Day 18: Patience on Pinterest
Day 19: Baseball and Dementia
Day 20: Practice What You Preach
Day 21: Hold on a Little Longer
Day 22: Patience and Your Spouse
Day 23: Running on Empty
Day 24: Practicing Patience at the Doctor's
Day 25: Patience and Love
Day 26: Always
Day 27: Waiting for the Sun
Day 28: Patience is Hard
Day 29: The One Cardinal Sin
Day 30: I will Not Quit
Day 31: My final Thoughts on This Challenge

Memory Monday

Welcome once again to Memory Monday.
If you want to join in and share a memory
Hop over to  Sandy's Space and join her.

Here is my memory for this Monday.
This picture was taken in (I believe 1968)
My oldest brother was home on leave from the Navy.
The middle brother had not yet left for Viet Nam.
My sister had not yet gotten married and moved to Texas.
And the little guy peeking out is my youngest brother who was probably in junior high.
That is me with the red head band one.
Get a load of those curtains on the door!!

Friday, September 27, 2013

Friday Letters


 I cannot believe how fast the weekend descends upon us. When I was a school girl the week seemed to be forever long. As a working lady I thought that surely the weekend would never come. Now, the older I get, the days fly by and the weekend is here again. On to my letters for today......

Dear Richard:  I know that you cannot help it but the coughing is driving me crazy!
Dear local family who lost two members of their family in a house fire and the 14 year old son was arrested:  My prayers are with you. I cannot imagine what you are going through right now.
Dear NCIS:  You left me wanting more. And I don't want Ziva killed off. Do you hear me?
Dear Harley: Congratulations on being invited to join (?) the honor choir. Your voice is like an angel and I am so proud of you.
Dear Darian:  Good luck on the debate this weekend. Being 1-4 is a good start for a Novice. I am so proud of you as well.



Thursday, September 26, 2013

Decorating Woes

     I was just reading some of my favorite blogs and came away with the idea that there must be something wrong with me. I don't have a 'decorated' laundry room! My laundry room is small. There is room for the washer and the dryer. The floor is covered with some really ugly indoor-outdoor orange carpet that was there when we bought the house (25 years ago, I am embarrassed to say). There is a counter that spans an entire wall and is covered in a really ugly laminate top. Years ago my husband hung a rod for me to hang clothes on as they came out of the dryer. Sadly that is where most of the clothes stay until someone wants to wear them. And the counter is filled with clothes (they are folded however) that no one wears anymore. We have a whole wall of cabinets that are ugly brown and house lots of crap that has nothing to do with the laundry room at all. And this is also where the trash/recycle bins sit by the garage door. Not appealing at all. But it is functional. And the laundry is mostly done. Most days, that is.

      I cannot imagine a laundry room that would have a bouquet of flowers. Can you? This is a beautiful laundry room (pictured above) but come on....does anyone really believe that real people live in this house?  Or if they do, do we believe that the laundry room ever looks like this. And why would anyone want it to look like this. I love to read decorating blogs and DIY blogs, but I really never get around to doing anything to my house. If I ever decorate my laundry room you guys will be the first to know. And I promise to post all of my beautiful pictures too! 

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

31 Days to Practicing Patience

I am so excited. 
I learned to make my own blog button.
You will see this a lot in October 
as I blog along with
in her 31 Day Challenge

"Under the Sun" by Michael Weatherly

A Big fan of NCIS but I did not know until today that Michael Weatherly (Tony) sang

CBS Line Up for Tuesday Evening

     We are big TV fans. We especially love cop shows at our house. Probably because we have our own personal cop whom we all love and admire. We have been anxiously looking forward to start of the new season. And today that day is here.

Season 11

     I think this year the beginning of NCIS is going to be bitterwsweet. Our beloved Ziva is preparing to leave the show.  We hated it when Kate was killed off. I sure hope they don't kill Ziva!

Season 5

     Harley likes NCIS:LA even better than Gibbs. Not sure why except she is and has always been a big fan of rap music and who doesn't love LL Cool J?  When we left off last year Deeks was being gruesomely tortured. Will he survive? We will be watching tonight to see.

Season 3

     And to finish up the evening of TV viewing, Person of Interest has switched over to Tuesdays. We love how these two use the 'machine' to save people's lives. Of course, they kill a lot of people getting there.

     So you know where we are and what we are doing on Tuesday evening. Don't call or drop in. Unless there is an emergency we won't answer the door or the phone!!

Monday, September 23, 2013

Shine On!

Today I was nominated for this special "Shine On" Award by my friend Kwizgiver at What If This is as Good as it Gets! Thank you so much. You are a special blogging buddy. Always there for me. And here is how it works:

The Shine On Award
1. Visit and thank the blogger who nominated you.
2. Acknowledge that blogger on your blog and link back.
3. Share seven random, interesting things about yourself.
4. Nominate up to 15 Bloggers for the Shine On Award, provide a link to their blogs in your blog, and notify them on their blog.

Now here are the latest random, I don't know about interesting, facts about me.

1. My yard is filled with stickers. I think they are called 'sandburs'. They end up on our shoes. And then in the house. And then I step on them. And then I cuss! Loud.
2. I have stopped coloring my hair. It is salt and pepper. More salt than pepper.
3. I wear shorts and tees year round. Even when it is really cold, I still wear shorts.
4. I wear crocs year round. In the summer; without socks. And in the winter; with socks.
5. I love all vegetables. And I like to try new ones all the time. We have an awesome produce department at our new Dillon's Marketplace.
6. I am so excited for the new TV season. We watch a LOT of TV. A LOT!
7. Don't look too closely at my house. I like it clean. But there is still dust and lots of cobwebs. Not really particular anymore.

Now for the hardest part (just kidding) Here are 7 people I want to Shine On

1. Trinity at Ramsey Grace
2. Cristy at My Own Personal Stage

3. Lisa at Anamcara 2
4. Lisa at Boss Nurse Speaks
5. Flora at A Work in Progress
6. Raindrops on Roses
7. Retired Knitter on My Next Twenty Years of Living

Come and Play along friends. I love learning new things about you

Life Lately

Monday September 23

"Life Lately"

     I have not done too well on this Blogtember. I am just not into it. And the questions just don't reach out and grab me.  This is not Jenni's fault. I am just not that into much of anything anymore. I think that I am suffering a bit of depression. Just situational! But nevertheless.................

     Life lately at our house is just more of the same. Richard has not made many changes. They are subtle. He is confused more often. He hallucinates more. The other day he swore there was a man in our house with a clip board, recording all of our possessions. Of course I couldn't find him. Then he insists the mailman is at the door (at 4 a.m.) and the only thing that will set his mind at ease if if I get up and go see. He is quite a bit more paranoid than he was. He wants to be able to SEE me at all times. When my youngest son asked him where he thought I was he responded, "with another man".  Ha! Ha! That one makes me laugh out loud. I just remind him that I will NEVER have another man in my life. He is IT!  He hasn't changed much physically. Weight is staying the same. His appetite is basically pretty good. His remains weak and difficult to transfer. He is cold all the time. Everyday he wears flannel pj bottoms, a sweatshirt, and is covered with 4-5 blankets depending on how cold he is. He is coughing and choking more. Normal progression of the disease. Mealtimes around here can be a disaster of choking, coughing, and sputtering. We keep a stack of napkins next to his place and try to dodge the spittle if he doesn't get his mouth covered in time. (Sorry if that is too much information) He is more incontinent than he is dry. So, hence, more showers. Which are not easy and wear both of us out. Thank Goodness, most of the time, he can warn me ahead of time when he needs to have a bowel movement (once again, TMI). He doesn't sleep as much as he was in the beginning of this journey. In fact, that is mostly our biggest problem. He doesn't sleep much at all. At bedtime I give him a 10 mg Ambien, along with a 1 mg Ativan, and usually end up around 1:00 giving him another Ativan, which might get him to sleep by 3 a.m. If he is not sleeping, then I am not sleeping. The Hospice nurse has thrown out a couple of names of anti-depressants (for him) but when I research them I am just not sure I want to use them. I am open to all suggestions!

     The kids have finally returned to school. Darian started his sophomore year. His big activity this year for sure is Debate. He had his first debate match this past Saturday. Won One: Lost Four. Not bad for his first time. And they were not accompanied by a coach. Just a parent who filled in as coach. He is also active in Boy Scouts and his youth group at church. So, other than Fridays, he has something going on every evening. Then debates or Scout camp outs take place on weekends. So far he is doing pretty good in school. He struggles with being organized and sometimes that will bite him in the rear end.

     Harley is 13 and an eighth grader. She will be doing intramural drama soon. (She could teach the class!) And she is active in the youth group at church. She participates in her middle school choir and loves, loves, loves to sing. Basketball will start when it gets closer to Christmas. She is a good student as well and most of the time has all A's.

     Both of these kids are jewels when it comes to helping with their Papa. They are so kind and so caring. And so gentle with him. They have seen parts of an old man's body that most kids their age would not see for many years to come. They do all these things without hesitation. And with compassion and caring. It is what it is. Parkinson's Disease is a fifth member of our family. We didn't ask for it. We don't want it. But it is here to stay. And the only thing we can do about it is not let it control us. And that is how both of these wonderful kids deal with it. They love their Papa without conditions!

     As for me.....I am tired, bitchy, and angry. But I am trying to deal with it all. I sleep when Richard sleeps. If he naps in the day, so do I. I try to joke with him and make him smile. I snap at the kids and then apologize. Hopefully they understand and forgive me. I have a wonderful young son who lives about 50 miles from us and he (and his little girl) come every Saturday. On Saturday nights, Justin takes over the care of Papa and I go back to my room to sleep, read, and watch TV. It is 8 hours of heaven. Do you think I sleep well? Nope, I have to keep telling myself that all is okay out there and stay in my room. I am thinking about maybe a two-three day retreat. I would like to go somewhere, all by myself, and try to restore my energy and my faith. I am just in the thinking stages....might happen. Might not.

     Overall, we are doing okay. How are all of you doing? Please let me know.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Friday Letters

Here it is! Already another weekend before us. Time is flying by. My mother told me when I was young and wanting to hurry and grow up that someday I would wish that the years would slow down. And I am there now! Seems like only yesterday I was turning 40. And now I am looking down the road to 65 in just a few years. Without further are my Friday Letters

Dear Richard:  I love you everyday! It is hard what we are going through. But love will get us through.

Dear September:  You will soon be gone. And replaced with October which is the real fall month. Time to think about bringing in the houseplants and readying things outdoors for winter. I will miss you September.

Dear Car:  You have been a good 'ol' lady. Now you are almost 13 years old. And there are almost 130,000 miles on you. But don't fail me yet. I need you around for a lot longer. Quit turning on  all those cute little lights on the dash. It is just not necessary.

Dear Hospice Re-Cert Nurse:  I can't believe it has already been 6 months since we entered Hospice. I look forward to your visit but please, please, please re-qualify us. Your help has been invaluable. Especially with supplies



October Blogging Challenge


   October is almost here. I am going to link up with The Nester's 31 Day Blogging Challenge. All you have to do is write on any one topic for 31 days. I find that doing a challenge stretches me and forces me to write. I love to write but sometimes I just run out of ideas. The Nester  is making topics this year for her challenge.These are some of the ideas that she has listed so far on her blog. She said these may change a bit. I am planning to write about a topic that I want to learn more about and will fit either into the Family life category or maybe even the Faith-ish one. If you want to learn about the challenge go here and here. She is going to teach us how to make our own buttons next week. Last year there were over 1200 bloggers who linked up with The Nester.

House & Home decorating, holiday, thrifting and such–this gets its own category because historically–and since this is a home blog, we’ve had lots of these types of themes.
Simplicity & Organizing yes, this usually has to do with House & Home as well, but this topic is popular too, so if you are talking about decluttering your house or mind, this might be the best topic for you to link up under.
Family Life parenting, marriage, baby, financial stuff and more
Faith-ish anything faith related
Personal Endeavors could be your personal story, how to do a 31 day cleanse, becoming intentional…
Too Awesome to be Categorized there are so many fantastic topics that simply don’t have a category, put yours here–I have a feeling this will be my favorite category!

What do you think? Something you might want to try with me?

I am a Survivor.....

What do I mean by that title to this post?
It means that I survived Big Brother this year.
It was the most controversial Big Brother Show ever.
It was filled with nastiness and racism and bullying.
But I couldn't miss an episode.
I don't know why.
I guess it is like a bad car accident.
You know when you drive by and you don't want to look.
But you can't look away.
I am glad that it is over.
Andy Herrin won!
I am happy for him.
I think.

 Then last night was also the season Premier of Survivor.
We are big Survivor fans as well.
But I was all prepared to hate this season.
I don't like it when they cast returning players.
But this season, I think, will prove to be different.
There are two teams playing against each other.
On the one team is all the returning players.
And on the other team is a loved one to one of the returning players.
People will be like or disliked based on their loved one.
Last night the first person voted off was voted off solely based on the actions of her uncle 
on the other team. Should prove interesting.
I haven't picked a favorite yet.

Amazing Race Starts this Sunday. We like this show because of all the different places they visit all over the world. A few years ago, however, my best friend's daughter and her boyfriend were on the show.
So that made it even more fun to watch.
Sadly, they didn't win.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Where Dreams Come True

September 18....Only Pictures

(Our Family Vacation just before Papa had a stroke)

Click on pictures to see them larger

Making Memories for Us

I have kind of fallen behind but instead of trying to play catch up I am just going to start right here with today.

Tuesday, September 17 A memory you would love to relive!
This is easy.
I would love to relive this beautiful August day in the mountains of Colorado when I married my best friend. I know that I cannot go back and change the way that things are for us now, but I would love to relive this day.

All Over The Place

      I have been all over the place for the past month. I have run out of steam. I have been depressed. I am confused and unsure if I wanted to continue to write in my blog. I have been pissed off. (Yeah, you were right, bro, it seems like I am making everyone around me mad) I will admit that I am feeling lost. I don't know why. I have a lot on my plate. Taking care of a invalid husband AND two teenagers is not easy. It is NOT a cakewalk. And sometimes I just don't deal with it very well. So there....

     Anyway. On to the next chapter. I hope that all of you who used to read can find me again. And all of you who offered me so much hope and support, thanks for being there while I went on a little hiatus. I didn't really go anywhere. I just kept my writing private for awhile. But now I have decided that it is not me who has done ANYTHING wrong. What I am going through is the normal grieving process. I am not going to sugar coat it. I am not going to apologize for it. If you don't like reading about it, then just delete my blog. You don't have to come here. And if you are only here to spy and gossip then that is YOUR problems shining through. Not mine. Hopefully I will give you something to talk about. {smile}.

     Now lets get back to blogging, shall we?

Friday, September 13, 2013

Friday Letters

It is that time again to look back on the week and write my little letters. Dear Brother: I will not let you bully me. End of story. Dear Kansas State Fair: Only 3 more days and you are gone for another year. You haven't bothered me much this year as I didn't get out as much as usual. Dear Richard: Please, please, please try to sleep at night; so that I can. Dear Darian and Harley: You are the best. I don't know where I would be physically or mentally without you. I love you both



Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Cough, Cough, Cough

     Parkinson's! I hate that word. I hate the disease. I hate everything that goes along with it. I hate to read the symptoms and know that I am recognizing them in Richard. I feel like I am so depressed. I don't want to be awake. I don't want to deal with this. But I have to go on. He needs me to take care of him.
     The hardest part for me is the coughing. People with Parkinson's have weakened facial and throat muscles. Talking and swallowing become more difficult. Choking, coughing, and drooling occurs. Richard coughs during eating. A Lot! I worry constantly about him aspirating and developing pneumonia. But he refuses to have his food pureed, at this point. And I don't want to push it. It is his decision. But the coughing is literally driving me insane. Sometimes I feel that the more he coughs, the more he needs to cough. Does that make sense. He says that he has a tickle in his throat. And he coughs. And then he complains that his throat is irritated. And he coughs. Then the phlegm builds up. And he coughs.
     The wonderful (and perplexing) thing about this is that he does not cough when he sleeps. Isn't that interesting. He sleeps well. Of course with the aid of sleeping pills and anti-anxiety medications. But he doesn't cough.

September Meal Planning

September 12, 2013

Corn Muffins

September 13, 2013

Cranberry Sauce

September 14, 2013

Kids are going to the fair
Papa and I are on our own

September 15, 2013

Pot Roast
Potatoes and Carrots

September 16, 2013

Boy Scouts

September 17, 2013


September 18, 2013

Church Night

September 19, 2013

September 20, 2013

French Fries
Boy Scout Camp out

September 21, 2013

Shephard's Pie
Boy Scout Camp out

September 22, 2013

Grilled Chicken
Mashed potatoes/gravy
Cheesy Broccoli

September 23, 2013

Boy Scouts

September 24, 2013

Corn Muffins

September 25, 2013

Church Night

September 26, 2013

Subway Sandwiches
Debate Practice

September 27, 2013

Taco Bar

September 28, 2013

Debate Hutchinson

September 29, 2013
Green bean soup
Sour dough bread


September 30, 2013

Boy Scouts

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

We Will Never Forget

I remember the morning of September 11, 2001 very clearly and probably always will. Most of America will always remember. My husband and I were planning a day at the Kansas State Fair, which takes place every year, right here in our hometown. We were first going down to Main Street to watch my very good friend's son March in the Parade of Bands that goes down Main Street every day during the fair to showcase the high school marching bands from across our state. Then our plan was to pick up our one-year old granddaughter and take her to the fair to spend the day.
Richard was back in the master bath shaving and I was sitting in our family room with Good Morning America on and putting on my shoes. Around 8:32, or so ,right after a commercial, Charlie and Diane came back on the air and reported that they had received word that what was believed to be a plane had hit one of the towers of the World Trade Center in New York. I went to tell Richard and we both chatted for a moment about the horror of that. Then I went back to the TV and he went back to shaving.
While sitting and waiting for Richard to finish, at around 9:02 a.m. , on live TV, I watched in terror as the second plane flew into the other tower. It was absolutely unbelievable. My husband and I both watched and wondered what on earth was going on in New York.
We left to keep our commitment to watch our friend's son march in the band. The thing I most remember about that morning is the absolute, eerie quiet that surrounded us. Even with a marching band playing the day seemed so quiet. The air felt heavy. It was if we knew something major had changed in America, but we were not yet sure what it was.
When we picked up our granddaughter my son and his wife were glued to their TV. My son is a deputy sheriff and it was his day off. We continued on to the fair and pulled our little granddaughter in her little red wagon. It was the quietest day I have ever been to the fair. Everywhere we walked people were gathered around TV's watching the tragedy unfold. There were people huddled and whispering. People were scared. We did not know how to act. Should life go on? Should we all go home? Should we be afraid?
There are images of that day that I will never forget. That huge plume of smoke and debris roaring down the street as people ran for their lives. The faces of the first responders as they raced in or carried people out. The look on the face of President Bush as the aide whispered to him what had happened while he was sitting in the classroom full of young students. The face of Mayor Rudy Giuliani as he took the reigns and tried to make sense of what was happening. It was a terrible day in America and for America.

We shall Never Forget!

The Day That Changed my Life

September 10, 2013: Describe a distinct moment when your life took a turn.
      I remember the summer after I was divorced from my first husband. It was 1978. I wasn't sure what I was going to do to provide a life for my two little boys ages 7 and 3. Right at that moment we were living off the proceeds from the sale of the house. We were living in a small 2 bedroom apartment. My best friend had just moved to Florida and I was LOST. I decided that I needed to find a career that would pay more than the career I had before my kids were born. I went to Business College after high school and worked as a secretary at a variety of places. You CANNOT support a family on a secretary's wages. So I went to our local college to look into some type of education in the medical field. I was interested in becoming a medical technologist. I always thought running all those tests on body fluids would be so interesting. And then I looked at the curriculum. TOO much science and math. 
     While in the counselor's office he asked me what I thought of nursing. My thoughts on nursing could be summed up in two words. HELL NO!. Never did I want to be a nurse. I viewed a nurse as a doctor's handmaiden who cleaned up poop and puke. No way ever! He showed me how much money a nurse could make ($8.69 an hour at the time) and I signed up. That was good, good money back then and I was the sole provider for two kids.
      After three years of attending our local community college I graduated with an associates degree in nursing and have never looked back. It is the most satisfying job I have ever had.  I love taking care of people. And I was very good at it. I WAS not a doctor's handmaiden. Although, there were plenty of doctors that still felt that was what a nurse was for. And I learned that a nurse does much more than clean puke and poop. We diagnose. We educate. We help with healing. We comfort those in pain and those who are dying. I loved my job for 30 years! Now I am somewhat retired and stay at home and take care of Richard. I am glad that I have my nursing education to fall back on in this time of need. Becoming a nurse, without a doubt, changed my life.

Monday, September 9, 2013

Memory Monday

     I don't know if Sandy still does Memory Monday but I recently ran across an old picture of my family that actually had my Dad in it and I wanted to post it as a Memory Monday.

This is a rare photo!
I don't have many of dad with the family.
Taken at Easter 1955. I know it says July, but I think they stamped the date they were developed.
This is how I remember my dad.
And we all look so somber.
I wonder if it is because we are all dressed up.
Or if mom and dad had been fighting.
Or daddy was on his way to becoming drunk for the day.
Who knows?
What I do know is that I am thankful that I have a picture of all of us together.
And I don't know how mom got all those curls in my hair :)