Wednesday, July 31, 2013

I feel like I have fallen into a hole...

I feel like Alice. I have fallen into a hole and as I slide my way through it I wonder where will it end. Will I come out on the 'other' side. Will things be the same? Worse? Better? Can we just go back to how it used to be?

Richard is continuing to fail right before our eyes. It is subtle and unless you know him really well you just might not see all the changes that are taking place. Of course the obvious ones, like he can barely stand any longer, you won't miss. But the changes that are going on in his head are the ones that are hard to spot. But they are there. And it is getting worse day by day.

He doesn't always know where he is. The other night, after he was settled into his chair for the night, he said, "I thought we would not go back to that motel" We were sitting in our very own living room. But it did not look familiar to him. He did not think it was our TV and things just didn't look right. Finally he fell to sleep and things were back to normal the next morning. Well, normal, for him.

He rarely knows what day of the week or the month is anymore. I make a 'sign' every morning so that he can see what day it is. But without that he doesn't know.

He knows who all of us are. He knows our names. He can no longer remember our address, although he can remember the address of the last house that we lived in, 25 years ago. He doesn't remember my birthday any longer. He still gets his right. He knows all the grand kids and their names. He remembers our sons. He doesn't ask very often about the oldest one, but when he does, he tells me he wants to see him sometime. And that breaks my heart!

He doesn't remember that he can't walk. That he can't mow the grass. That he can't help out in the kitchen. That he can't plant a garden. He still wants to do those things. We just smile and tell him he can...tomorrow. And tomorrow he forgets that he asked.

Recently my oldest brother was here. Richard was eating breakfast at the table. My brother was at the table drinking a cup of coffee. Richard was taken to the bathroom. When we returned to the table, he greeted my brother as if he had just gotten there. Like he was seeing him for the first time that day. We all go along with it.

He fiddles and piddles a lot. By that I mean he does a lot of repeated actions. Like he can fold and refold a Kleenex for hours. And everything on his table next to his chair gets moved and replaced over and over again. He struggles with reading the paper. He goes over articles on the front page for an hour at a time. I don't know what he is comprehending. But I let him sit with the paper for as long as he wants. He rarely opens it anymore. The same with the TV. He sits and stares at the screen. But what he comprehends is a mystery.

Today has been really bad. He is snappy with all of us when we don't do it right. He is up and down to the commode constantly. He cannot remember that he just went. And instead of argue about it, I get him up again. I put in a call to the Hospice nurse to see if we can check for a UTI. We will do that tomorrow. But we got news that we are changing nurses. He is mad about that. He doesn't want a new nurse. I hope he forgets that by tomorrow.  He really liked his young, female nurse. And now they are sending a guy. We will see how it goes.

Cross your fingers and hope that when I get all the way through the hole there will be a tea party set up for me!

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Spending a Day in History

July 31, 2013

What one person from history would you most like to spend a day with? And Why?

     Here we are on the last day of July. The last day of the Blogging Challenge. It has been really fun and I have enjoyed meeting new blogging friends and getting together with old friends. Now I am going  to do the Happiness Challenge with my friend Kwizgiver for the month of August. Come along and join us. If you leave me a comment everyday, I will hop over to your blog to see what you are 'happy' about. I really, really need this as today I am not feeling very happy and I need to work on turning that all around.

     Now on to today's prompt. I don't really have anyone special in mind that I would like to spend the day with. I think it would have been cool to be at the helm of the ship as Columbus discovered the new land. And I would have liked to have walked the streets in Kansas with an ax right along with Carrie Nation. Not that I am a big believer in temperance but I just like that she was so radical in getting her point across. Did you know that she died in Leavenworth, Kansas in 1911. That would have been the year after my dad was born. And did you know that she was SIX feet tall? She was a homely woman and scary looking too....don't you think?

Who would you like to spend a day with?

One Lovely Blog Award

    I love receiving awards! And today I received this award from two very special blogging friends. They are the blogging friends that I have known the longest. Boss Nurse, my friend over at Boss Nurse Speaks, and I share a common interest in our careers. And I think we have married the same man....who occupies different bodies in different generations. And Kwizgiver, my friend at What if this is as Good as it Gets, has given me  insight into what being a high school teacher is all about. I would feel honored to have her teach my grandchildren any day of the week. 

How this "One Lovely Blog Award" works:
1. Add the “One Lovely Blog Award” image to your post

2. Share seven things about you

3. Pass the award on to seven nominees

4. Thank the person who nominated you and add a short blurb about them.

5. Inform the nominees by posting on their blogs

I have shared so much about myself on this blog that I often wonder if there is anything that I have left out, but here goes:

  1. Today I am in a really foul mood. I am a nasty bitch when I am in a foul mood. I take it out on those around me and then I hate myself. Do you ever do that?
  2. I have never wanted to be the person 'in charge'. Not at work, not at home, not anywhere. I like having other people make the decisions.
  3. Now, I am in charge of EVERYTHING at my house. What would you like for dinner? We don't care. Just fix whatever you would like. Don't they see that I am sick of making decisions?
  4. My favorite candy bar used to be PAYDAY. But my teeth are so bad that I avoid eating peanuts altogether cause I don't want to go to the dentist. So now I eat 3 Musketeers.
  5. My husband's increasing dementia is driving me crazy. I thought I would handle things better than this.
  6. I love to ride my riding lawnmower. I am totally by myself when I am cutting grass.
  7. I shave my legs every single day. Have for years. 

Now for my seven nominees:

  1. Tammy at Havfaith Sunshine
  2. Lass at A Daft Scots Lass
  3. Elena at Elena's Lockets
  4. Eloquent at Eloquent Rambles
  5. Jasmine at The Happy Sloth
  6. Flora At A Work in Progress
  7. Nazreen at Penguin Peeks (a new reader)

Monday, July 29, 2013

July 30, 2013

What is one thing you cannot live without in your kitchen?

We are almost done. I cannot believe that I have blogged every single day since March 1.
That is a lot of blogging. 
I am ready to do something different. So if you want to continue to follow along then join us in the 
August Happiness Challenge.

July will soon be over and we have completed another blog challenge.

Time to take a break from all of these intense blog topics. But, since I like to blog everyday, I am going to join up with Kwizgiver from What if This is As Good As it Gets and do a happiness challenge. Below you will find the instructions that I snitched from her blog. 

Come on and join know you want to!

happiness challenge...

Another August is here! It's time for the August Happiness Challenge. Thanks to The Gal Herself!

Here's a brief explanation of the Challenge: "Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world."

Now to answer today's question. The one thing in my kitchen that I cannot live without is my

Cuisinart Coffee Maker

I got this for Christmas a couple of years ago from my son's wonderful lady, Trina. And we use it every single day. It even has a hot water dispenser if the kids want hot chocolate. Or someone wants to sip some tea. I love it and I can't live without it.

Does Any Woman Ever buy Something Just for Herself??

July 29, 2013

What is the last thing you bought just for yourself?

     Gosh this is hard! I NEVER buy anything just for myself. Let me think a moment. Oh wait, I know what it was......

      I was at the grocery store and they were giving away samples of sushi and I splurged and bought myself a Crispy Dragon Roll. Yum! Yum! Yum. The kids wouldn't even taste it so I age the whole thing all by self along with an ice cold Lime Bud Lite. What a treat.

     Tell me what you bought for yourself....I promise to be jealous and green with envy....

Saturday, July 27, 2013

While Floating in the ocean..........

Once upon a time a guy and a gal were floating in a big ship in the ocean.

They had been a couple already for over 17 years! They had raised her two boys.
They had purchased a home. She had finished nursing school.

They were taking this wonderful trip with 5 other friends.
A good time was being had by all.
But the guy had a very serious question to ask of this gal.

Alone in their cabin, he got down on one knee and asked her to please, please, please
say 'yes' to the question he had asked so many times before.
(She already had the above ring)
He had given it to her a few years earlier.
She just wouldn't (couldn't) name a date.

But at the dining table that very evening they had an announcement to make.
The gal had finally said 'yes' and the month would be that coming August.

Champagne flowed freely and plans were being made. And that very year in August
I married by long time sweetheart!

Now tell me you favorite vacation memory. This one is MINE

Friday, July 26, 2013

My Little HTC Rhyme


July 27, 2013

Do you own a smart phone?  Why do you love it?

  Yes, I own a smart phone. And most of the time I like it! But I really want something different. And I just can't decide what I want or even why I want something different. I can't wait to read what all of you think. And see what kinds of phone that you love.

     I own the HTC Rhyme. It is a 'girly' type phone. It is approximately 5" by 2.5" and very slim. That is mostly what I liked about it. That is was very slim. It came in a box with three accessories: a charging dock, earphones, and a little charm that lights up when you are getting a call. I love the charging dock. When my phone is cradled in the dock it displays the time, a calendar and music. I put it in the dock by my couch every night when I go to sleep.
     It has a 5 MP camera that is okay. Takes a decent picture. Not that great really. But then I am not really into taking pictures with my phone. Most of the time I forget that I can take a picture with my phone. I guess that might be due to my age. Cell phones are sure not something that have been around as long as I have.
     The battery power isn't that great. I have to recharge it at least daily and sometimes half-way through the day. That little dangling charm is a waste cause I never put my phone in my purse. And those headphone have the worst design ever. They won't stay in my ears at all. And I don't really listen to music on my phone anyway. The screen is decent and I love the virtual key board which is another reason I got the phone. I was still on just a number keyboard and my rate of texting was ever so you remember? It is 3G so I guess that is good.
     I am home most of the time so I can use it with my WIFI  but it works better with the 3G. I had to buy a data plan (which irks me) and I never really use any data.

     But I am thinking about up-grading. What would you recommend? And why?

August Happiness Challenge

July will soon be over and we have completed another blog challenge.

Time to take a break from all of these intense blog topics. But, since I like to blog everyday, I am going to join up with Kwizgiver from What if This is As Good As it Gets and do a happiness challenge. Below you will find the instructions that I snitched from her blog. 

Come on and join know you want to!

happiness challenge...

Another August is here! It's time for the August Happiness Challenge. Thanks to The Gal Herself!

Here's a brief explanation of the Challenge: "Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world."

Thursday, July 25, 2013

She is a Little Ray of Sunshine

July 26, 2013

Post a picture of something yellow


Show me your 'yellow'

Old School Blogging

I have been invited by Kimberly of Being a Wordsmith to join 
The Old School Blogging Meme.
So here goes:

Five Things I have A Passion For:

My husband
My sons
My grandchildren

Five Things I'd like to Learn Before I Die:

How to use Word
How to take better Pictures
How to overcome my fear of Mice
Why people chose addiction over their kids
How to live with grey hair

Five Things I say A Lot

Oh Good Lord
Look at me when I am talking to you
Sh** The Bed!
( I had help from my grandkids with some of these :( )

Five Books and/or magazines I have Read Lately

Better Homes and Gardens
Real Simple
Syndrome by Thomas Hoover
Saving Hope by Margaret Daley (currently reading)

Five Favorite Movies
(maybe you have seen them Five Times)

Blind Side
Pirates of the Caribbean
Wrinkle in Time
Alice in Wonderland
(actually I don't really like movies. I would never watch any movie more than once)
These are movies that I have seen all the way through and found tolerable

Five Places I would like to Travel To:

Oklahoma to see Cristy
St John, The Virgin Islands
Washington D.C.
New York City
New Mexico

Five People I invite to Do This Meme

Lisa @ Anamcara2

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

I Wonder What Nancy Is Doing Today

July 25, 2013

What was your favorite childhood book

I read all the Nancy Drew Books that I could get my hands on.
I doubt that I read every single one of them.
But I read a lot of them.
And I still think about those stories.
And remember how much I loved these books.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Elvis oh my Beautiful Elvis

July 24, 2013

Who was your childhood celebrity crush?

Need I say anymore?

Hailstorm 2013

We just had a storm pass over our house and left us quite a number of these puppies.
Biggest ones are about the size of a tennis ball.
Smallest one is a golf ball.
Hope my brand new roof holds up under this.
Car was in the garage.
So no damage there.

Monday, July 22, 2013


July 23, 2010

What is your favorite part of the day and why?

I am a Mother!
I am a Care-Giver!
My favorite part of the day is when everyone is sleeping.
The house is quiet.
No one wants anything.
No one Needs me!
And that is wonderful!

Now fill me in...What is your favorite part of the day?

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An Only Son...until

Already Monday?
Must be time for Memory Monday 
Join in if you'd like.
Come to Sandy's Space and share your memories

I love this old picture of Richard's family.
I will guesstimate the year at 1946
I love those ladies hair-do's!
Oh my.
Richard was the only son......until sometime that same year as this picture was taken.
When surprise, surprise!
Along came another baby boy
His mom often talked about that. I don't think she was really happy.
She thought it was menopause.

Richard looks a lot like his dad now!
His dad also had Parkinson's disease.
Cool picture, huh.
What do you have to share with us?

The Pet Peeve Question Again!

July 22, 2013

What are your five biggest pet peeve

Fast food restaurants that ask me to pull forward.
And then they wait on other customers and forget about my order

Large retail stores with 20+check-out lanes
And only 2 are open

Trashcans and wastebaskets at my house that are over-flowing
And No One notices

Packaging that is impossible to open

Unruly, spoiled children in public places.
Parents, control your children please!

Come tell me What your pet peeves Are

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Oh, I am so FAT!

July  21, 2013

What are your thoughts on how the media portrays body image for young girls?

     One of the most annoying things about the media (only one, you say!) is they don't know anything about REAL life and it is all about trying to direct all of us to follow along with what just a few 'experts' think they know. I hate the image of the stick thin model. I hate to see a mother who works out constantly, obsesses about how she looks, talks about her diet and exercise programs all the time and then turns around and says to her little girl, "honey, of course you aren't fat."
     Fat Talk goes on everyday in the world. Between two women (or two girls). I hear my grand daughters say such things as "I hate my thighs." "Do you think my stomach sticks out too much in this dress" And they are only 11, 13, and 13. There is so much teasing and bullying at school that these girls are terrified of being called fat. And it is not much better with the boys. My  15 year old grandson is obsessed with his height and weight. And all of this turns into eating disorders in a world already full of kids with all kinds of other mental disorders.
     I don't see anything wrong with eating healthy. I see nothing at all wrong with exercising. But when that is ALL a mom can talk about, or dad is constantly getting out of the house to run or go to the gym, the kids get the idea that body image is really, really important. 
      But with all of that being said I really do believe that we, the consumer, is mostly to blame for these continued problems with body image. We still buy the magazines that have the stick-ladies on the cover. We still buy the products that these models are selling. We still watch the programs on TV that are allowing these images to be put before our impressionable young people. So are we really the ones that are to blame, and not the media?  

Tell me what you think:

Friday, July 19, 2013

My Worst Date

July 20, 2013

Write about worst/best date you have ever been on

My worst date!
I don't really know if the date itself was all that bad. 
In fact I cannot even really remember the date at all.
I didn't know this boy all that well.
His name was Marty.
I wonder if it was short for Martin.
Beats me.
He had a car much like the one in the picture above.
We called them 'muscle cars.'
I was staying with my aunt for the weekend and this guy was a friend of my cousin's.
My cousin had arranged the date for us.
What makes this the worst date ever?
When we got back to my aunt's house it looked as if everyone had already gone to bed.
I was sure that they weren't really in bed.
But the house was dark.
As Marty and I sat in his car in front of my aunt's house suddenly the front porch light came on.
And went off.
And came on.
Oh my God, I remember thinking, they are signaling me to come in.
I was so embarrassed.
It was my dear Uncle Gene. And he wanted me in the house.
And not making out with some nice young man in his muscle car in front of the house.
(not that WE were making out)
Off and and continued.
So Marty walked me to the door.
And ran back to his car.
I never saw this guy again.
Although I might have wanted a second date.
I was TOO embarrassed.
Thanks Uncle Gene!

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Thursday, July 18, 2013

Through the Years

July 19, 2013

Write about someone you really care about

     When I was thinking about this prompt, I knew who I would write about. I cannot imagine that I would select anyone else at this point in my life to write about. Just thinking about my love for Richard makes the words of this song come to mind:

"I can't remember when you weren't there

When I didn't care for anyone but you

I swear we've been through everything there is

Can't imagine anything we've missed

Can't imagine anything the two of us can't do"

     Because it is true. I can't remember when he wasn't there. It seems as if I have known him forever. And I feel as if he is the only man that I have ever really loved. The two of us have had quite a 'wild ride' through the years. We haven't missed out on too many of life's experiences. We have lived life the way that we wanted to.

"Through the years, you've never let me down
You turned my life around, the sweetest days I've found
I've found with you ... Through the years
I've never been afraid, I've loved the life we've made
And I'm so glad I've stayed, right here with you
Through the years"

     There have been times in our lives together that he disappointed me, made me mad, frustrated me, but he NEVER let me down. And I cannot even begin to imagine what my life would have been like if he had not come into it and helped me turn things around. I will never, ever be sorry for the decisions I made when I chose to spend my life with him. I am glad I have stayed right here even when sometimes things were not really that easy. 

"I can't remember what I used to do
Who I trusted, who I listened to before
I swear you taught me everything I know
Can't imagine needing someone so
But through the years it seems to me
I need you more and more"
     I really, really cannot remember what I did before this man came into my life. I know that I was miserable with a loser of an ex-husband. Too bad that I trusted and listened to him before Richard came along. And I was so very naive and young and Richard has taught me 'most' everything I know. I let him take care of me. And I loved every moment of it. 

"Through the years, through all the good and bad
I KNOW how much we had, I've always been so glad
To be with you ... Through the years
It's better every day, you've kissed my tears away
As long as it's okay, I'll stay with you
Through the years

     Yes, there have been plenty of good times and more than our share of bad times. But I never wanted to leave. I was always happy to stay and spend my entire life with Richard. And it is true, he  kissed plenty of tears away. Through the years. He was always there to take care of things I didn't want to, couldn't, didn't have time for. And he raised my sons as if they were his own flesh and blood. He was always there for all of us.  

"Through the years, when everything went wrong
Together we were strong, I know that I belong
Right here with you ... Through the years
I never had a doubt, we'd always work things out
I've learned what life's about, by loving you
Through the years"

     Just like with any relationship, there were plenty of times where 'everything went wrong.' But it is so true that 'together we were strong.' And I stayed. And He stayed. And we always worked through it. He is my rock. He is my sun. He is the man who hung the moon. There were plenty of times that he pissed me off. But I never had a doubt, that we would always work things out. And I have never questioned how much he loves me. Everyone knows how much he loves me. I am a lucky woman. I am spoiled. I have been showered with fancy things and taken to marvelous places and I have always felt his love. 

"Through the years, you've never let me down
You've turned my life around, the sweetest days I've found
I've found with you ... Through the years
It's better every day, you've kissed my tears away
As long as it's okay, I'll stay with you
Through the years..."

     I know that our days on this earth together are coming to an end. I know that he will soon leave me. And I will miss him with every ounce of my being. I will grieve for him and what we will no longer have. But I know he will be watching over me.  I know that we will be together again and when I get there, to be by his side, he will kiss my tears away. 

Through The Years
(click to hear this song)

Kenny Rogers

1996 on Our Panama Canal Cruise just months before we were married

Who is it that you care about? Please sign in and tell us all about this person

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

I am so embarrassed!

July 18

Show us a picture of something you own that is embarrassing!

This clock!
I have never liked this clock.
And it hangs in our 'puzzle room'
On this wall that is covered in the ugliest wallpaper ever.
I am embarrassed to say that this wallpaper was in this room when we bought this house.
25 years ago.
And this clock belongs to my husband.
And now I have to keep it wound so that it will continue to chime the hour for him.
Now tell me that is not love!

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Tuesday, July 16, 2013

How Many More Random Facts are There?

July 17

Tell seven random facts about yourself

I have told more than a ton of random facts about myself over the years of writing this blog. Now let me think a moment to see if I can come up with 7 more.....

  1. I can't help myself....when I am about half-way through a really good book, I have to read the last page. It is just a sickness that I have. Might have something to do with my next random fact
  2. I don't like surprises....not of the birthday kind. Not visitors that show up unannounced. Not movie endings, tv show endings, book endings. No surprises. Isn't that crazy?
  3. I don't really care all that much for ice cream. I will eat it. But I don't crave it. And often if we go out for ice cream I will get a slush or something like that!
  4. I can't stand the smell of burning wood. Bad memories of a week without heat and electricity following an ice storm a few years ago and we only could heat with our wood burning fireplace. Was a very stressful 7 days and the smell of burning wood brings it all back.
  5.  When I was a second grader I won the class spelling bee. I advanced to the all school spelling bee where I couldn't spell dishes . What the heck! How did I ever make it to the all school bee?
  6. I am a Registered nurse and I have NOT  been to the doctor in more than 5 years. Now is that because I am very healthy or just irresponsible. I'll let you decide!
  7. I love the reality TV show Big Brother. How adult is that? Not very, I know. But I really get into all the bickering, backstabbing and bashing that goes on. This year, however, I am fed up with the racial BS that has been happening.

Sign in so I can come and see your random facts