Thursday, January 26, 2017

How To Control This Five Minute Friday

I want to get better at writing. I need to put my thoughts on paper (or in this case on the screen) and just let them flow from my heart. That is what I love about Five Minute Friday. Kate gives us the prompt and we write for five minutes and then share with the fine people who link-up at her blog. You can find out all about it by going over to Heading Home

This week the prompt is CONTROL

Go

I am a control freak. I don't know if I really am a control freak but my family tells me that I am. I've often wondered, whenever they say that, why is that a bad thing?? I like to know what is going on. I like to know when it is going to go on. And I want the details. So, why is that bad?

It seems to cause my family a lot more stress than it causes me. I am not a person who is comfortable with surprises. I like to be in the know. In control. But I don't have to have ALL the control.

When Richard was alive he was pretty much the one who was in control at this house. He decided what we were going to do and when we were going to do it. And I let him decide. I liked how he would map out our entire vacations and do all the planning. All I had to do was pack and jump on board. We always had a good time. I always liked his planning. But I never once thought of him having an issue with being a control freak. And I am pretty sure he didn't think I was a control freak. Maybe it is a generational thing. Younger people don't seem to want to have someone in control of them. Maybe that's it!

I really don't like being the one in control now. Hell, I would dump these responsibilities onto the lap of anyone who would take them. I just need to know when? And how? And where can I meet you? At what time? Okay, maybe I am a bit of a control freak! But, just a bit!

One of the things I am trying hard to let go of this year is worries. Maybe if I can let go of being in control I will worry much less. What do you think? Are you a control freak? What is it you have to control? Do you find it easy to let go and let God as they say?

Stop


36 comments:

  1. It really is tough to balance the necessary planning and discipline and still be open to expecting the intervention of the HS at times! We're neighbors this week; I'm parked in #16 and you can find me here: FMF: Control. Peace and hope to all of us!

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    1. Thank you River Song! Enjoyed getting to meet you!

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  2. Paula, I feel for you. In years past I was considered a control freak, but really just wanted to get by and get along.

    And it does persist. Even though I'm laid very low by illness, I'm still given a lot of control that comes by habit and not by desire. It works, for now, but I'm very tired.

    God bless, my friend.

    #1 at FMF this week.

    http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2017/01/your-dying-spouse-264-theres-still-work.html

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    1. I think there comes a time when those of us who weren't control freaks need to take the rein and those of us who were need to relinquish it. Thanks for visiting Andrew!

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  3. I struggle too with control and relinquishing the need to feel I know when,why, how, and what of things. I don't like surprises and changes of schedule. I will pray for you in this matter. Please pray for me too. We can uphold each other and pray God will give us peace. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I was really writing my own prescription for moving forward.

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  4. Like your Richard, my Henry always decided what, when, where, how. I did let him know places I wanted to go or things I wanted to do, but he figured it all out. I've always pretty much been a go with the flow person.

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    1. I have never been a go with the flow person. So I have battled against those who are in control while at the same time trying not to be a control freak!! Is that even possible??

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  5. I am not a control freak, though I am usually at the top of the pyramid in organizations. I gave my boys freedom in their teens so that they could learn to be independent and reliable. They did not always make good choices but they learned from their mistakes. Result? All college graduates with good jobs and their own homes, two of them bigger than mine. OTOH, don't let anyone try to control me. Especially my husband when we were married. I guess I believe in cooperation.

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    1. That is wise advise to allow teens to make mistakes. But it is so much easier said than done. I admire that you could. Cooperation is a two way street that can be very difficult to navigate!

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    2. Mistakes are never easy and I have the bills to prove it.

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  6. Someone has to be in control, else the bills wouldn't be paid or the shopping done. I sure wouldn't stress that one. It should be easier, down to the two of you.

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  7. Good grief, Paula. Aside from causing my family to stress, your first two paragraphs might well describe ME! Richard sounds a LOT like my dad.

    Sure, I WANT to relax the reins and give it over to Mr. God. Then again, I worked/scrabbled too hard to get this far to risk letting it go. Sometimes I think He's up there chuckling at me talking out both sides of my mouth.

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    1. That is exactly how I feel Myra. Why does it have to be so hard to relax our grip on the controls!!

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  8. As someone who was single my whole life and finally married when i was 45- i am used to being in control. I too am a control freak and i own it! Like the reasons you mentioned above, nothing wrong with knowing whats happening. My husband is terrible at communicating so it makes things harder to give up some control.

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    1. My family, the same ones who laughingly call me a control freak, are terrible at communicating too! Maybe that is a bigger problem!!

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  9. I like the way you just blurt it out! I haven't been over at your place in a while. Good to be back. YAY FMF!!!

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  10. You want plans firmed up? I don't know if that's a control freak. Try letting everyone around you not come up with when and where and see how well those plans work out.

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    1. Amen! Thanks for speaking out for me!!

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  11. Someone has to be incharge...without it nothing would get done. I suppose I am a bit of a control freak however I have learned to go with the flow most days. I am fine like you said if I know what is happening and when and what is expected of me:)

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    1. I'm learning to go with the flow. But it is hard!!

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  12. I'm a control freak too; especially on things I have no control over, LOL. I want people to do things the way I want them done even though they are adults and can make their own choices :) I do like if hubby would take more control of helping to plan menus for eating; that I definitely would give him some control over :)

    betty

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    1. Isn't it true that we want to control what we can't control. Like other people!!

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  13. I'm pretty much a control freak I think. I like to have a handle on things. But as I've aged I am more relaxed and find the Go With the Flow mindset is actually quite peaceful.
    "Let go and let God": beautiful words to live by! May we all be so free...


    Michele at Angels Bark

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    1. They are beautiful words. But it is so hard to do!

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  14. Letting go and letting God is very hard for me..I don't consider myself a control freak. I just like things done my way hahahahaha.

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  15. I think sometimes control can be confused with acting responsibly. I think some personalities are more naturally bent towards taking charge or being very responsible. Others are more easy going and are happy to sit in the back seat and let someone else make all the decisions. The key thing is, is it a healthy relationship or not, and is there mutual respect and understanding between them? If it's a 'my way or the highway' situation, that wouldn't be healthy.

    But real control issues are different. Trying to manage the outcome of something that isn't ours to manage. I say I struggle with that when it comes to parenting adult children. Still parents, but the role has completely changed! When to say something and when to 'let it go' and trust God for the outcome is very hard!

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    1. Oh boy do I hear that when it comes to adult children. I can't even have a say in the matter :) I'm the only one at our house to take control so I'm not sure why they think I am a control freak!!

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  16. I guess I am enough of a control freak that: Do NOT! Ever. Throw me a surprise party. Don't. Just don't. I need to know I am going to a party. It may stress me out because I don't like people that much, but if I know I am going to a party, I can control how I dress, how my hair and makeup looks, and put on my best fake smile before I enter the room!

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    1. I am the same way about surprise parties!!!

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  17. I think you have had to deal with a lot of responsibility in your life and then suddenly you were cast adrift without your anchor. You were bound to go one of two ways - either drift aimlessly with no purpose or to hang on to control for dear life. But letting go of worry is a good thing to try. Especially things that you don't and can't have control over.

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    1. I think you are right! I feel like I am drifting aimlessly! Somedays it just seems to be too much!

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I love to hear what you might think. Leave me a comment. I guarantee though that I will delete your comment if you are just here to cause trouble. So tread lightly!