Thursday, October 6, 2016

Are We Tested?? Five-Minute Friday

I used to participate in this writing challenge each week. I have missed it and have decided that I am going to start again.  Care to join me?


You can find the prompt at Heading Home. 


Here’s how it works:

Every Thursday, a one-word prompt will be announced here on Kate's blog at 10pm EST.
The link-up is open for a full week, until the following Thursday evening.

To participate in Five Minute Friday, all you have to do is write for five minutes on the word of the week, post your words on your own blog, and link up the post on Kate's blog (via the InLinkz button at the bottom of the post). Be sure to add the actual permalink to your specific post, and not your blog’s homepage (e.g. http://katemotaung.com/five-minute-friday/ and not just katemotaung.com).

Just write.


Also, the most important rule is that you visit the blog of the person who linked up before you and leave some encouragement.  That’s the most fun of all, and the heart of this community



The word this week is test.

Go

I remember times I've been tested.   When I am given enough time to think about it I know I will figure it out.

This test was  in October of 1974. I was pregnant with my second child. I was in a horrible marriage. We fought all the time. He hit me. He gambled. We were in debt. Why was I pregnant again? When all I wanted to do was take my 3 year old child and leave. Why was God letting this happen.

One day I had a dream. I dreamed the new baby died. I dreamed we never held her. We never heard her cry. It was a test. We needed to change our lives. I told this dream to my (then) husband. He laughed! He said "you are crazy". He assured me I didn't know what I was talking about. Nothing was going to change. 

And then I went into labor. And delivered a stillborn daughter. It was a test. Were we going to pass the test? What was it God wanted me to do? What was it he wanted me to learn? Was it to get out of this bad marriage? Was it to keep trying? I didn't have the faith or the courage to ask and listen. 

Instead, I stayed in the marriage. I was to return to the clinic for a tubal ligation. We had discussed it before the baby had been stillborn. This is what I wanted. The doctor was to do the tubal on the day after she was born. But he wouldn't. He told me to wait. And to decide if I really wanted to go through with it. I was a mere 24 years old. I returned to the clinic for the required blood work for my operation several months later. There would not be a tubal ligation at this time. Because I was pregnant!! I wasn't happy. I was being tested. Once again.

9 months later I delivered the sweetest baby boy. My second son. This boy (he is now 40+) is my rock. He is the one I lean on. He has helped me through so much. God knew what he was doing. I passed the test. 

When I feel I am being tested I remember Psalm 23 (my favorite)


"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for you are with me; your rod and your staff comfort me."

Stop


28 comments:

  1. Oh, Paula, how we've missed you...and here you come back with an absolute rock-star post. Your testimony is so very, very powerful. I'm so sorry for what you had to endure...but glad to see the person who appears in your gracious words.

    Test-imony? Is that a coincidence of spelling? I wonder.

    #2 at FMF this week.

    http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2016/10/your-dying-spouse-216-lethal-legacy-fmf.html

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    1. Thank you for your kindness Andrew! I do not think it is probably a coincidence of spelling. But it gave me pause to stop and ponder.

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  2. Powerful, and sad, and then happy...you did great for your five minutes:)

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  3. Wow, what a huge and powerful story. You have been through so much and have so much life to share. Thanks for coming back and writing!

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  4. What I find amazing with your story, and so many others, is the circumstances of people's birth. The doctor told you to wait for a bit. God was intervening; your son "needed" to be born to accomplish God's plan for your life. So many other circumstances like that too. Its amazing how God weaves this all together. I do believe we are tested and stretched and molded and in that all, we grow (no matter how painful the growth can be, but it is growth and usually when we are through it and on the other side we see it and God's hand on it all, but when we are living it, its really hard to see that part.)

    Glad you decided to do this prompt again :)

    betty

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    1. I have always believed that God intervened in various ways in my life. And this was his plan. I enjoy writing. And sometimes I need the prompts. That is why I like this one!

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  5. What a testimony! I'm glad to have read your story. And Psalm 23 is one of my favorites. Thank you for sharing such a tender hearted story.

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  6. Yes we are tested and we wonder why, but you certainly got your answer. So glad you have your wonderful son.

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    1. Yes, I wouldn't trade him in for anything. God knew best!!

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  7. We all have interesting stories to tell. I congratulate you on being able to put it out there for everyone to read. I keep a lot of the sadder side of my life to myself cause I don't want my children to know what a real SOB their father was.

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    1. Yes, everyone has a story. Or many stories which makes up the person they are. My kids found out on their own what an SOB their dad was. It is good for them to know!

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  8. As they say - what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Your emotion filled story is an example of that.

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  9. Paula! It's good to see you! Thank you for sharing your powerful story. I'm so glad that doctor told you to wait. Children are such a gift (although they do test us at times, eh?).

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    1. Happy to see you too! Yes, children can continue to test us long into their adult years.

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  10. Your story is a 'test'ament to your strength. I admire that. As a side note, thanks to you and your mention of the book, I am completely engrossd in Dead Mountain!! Very interesting story. Happy weekend!

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    1. I just completed the book Gram! I will be posting my review. But I promise not the give away the ending. I really enjoyed listening to this author.

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  11. I, too, love that passage from the Psalms.
    Your TESTimony is heartbreaking, but encouraging at the same time.
    Thank you for sharing your heart!

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    1. Thank you Myra! I will be re-posting the story of Elaine's birth on her birthday this month!

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  12. Well thanks Paula....now I am sitting here blubbering. I think your story hit very close to home for me. I was younger and I have never lost a child but we were in very similar circumstances and came out stronger for it and blessed with children who became our "rocks". Perhaps next Friday I will have time to join in. I have missed 5 minutes Fridays too

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    1. I enjoy this challenge Wendy! Thanks for reading. We will have to share our stories with each other someday!

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  13. Wow. What a test!
    I have missed reading your blog. Now that I have my new schedule, I will be more present. And I think this weekly challenge sounds fun. 10pm Thursday EST is 10am Friday Beijing time, and I have Fridays off. I'm in! Thanks for the suggestion!

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  14. You sure were tested. Life is where you get the tests first, the lesson second.

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I love to hear what you might think. Leave me a comment. I guarantee though that I will delete your comment if you are just here to cause trouble. So tread lightly!