Thursday, April 28, 2016

Yearning for Yesterday

The A to Z Challenge takes us on a journey through the month of April. We write Monday through Saturday and take Sunday off. Hence, 26 days and 26 letters of the alphabet. Come in and see what snippet I'm sharing with you today.

For those of you who were wanting to know more about my broken leg, mentioned in yesterday's post: I wrote about it in a former A to Z Challenge. Go here!!


Throughout this entire A to Z Challenge Richard has never been far from my mind. Well, to be honest, he is never far from my mind. I remember writing about all the places he and I went on vacation. And two years ago when I wrote about the care-giving process. It makes me miss him. I miss him every single day.
Thanksgiving 2004

It is hard, for me, to believe that it will soon be two years since he died! Two years!! That is such a long time. It seems like it was just last week. We were together for over 30 years! And that is really a long time. I miss that I won't get to spend MY old age with him. But that probably wasn't going to happen anyway since he was 18 years my senior. We always knew that we wouldn't be together when I was old. So we made the years we had together the best years for both of us.

I have no regrets! We did everything we wanted to do. Well, except get a hot tub for the patio. Or buy an RV and travel around the country. Because, you see, these two small kids showed up at our door just as we were getting closer to both being able to retire.(They are my oldest son's kiddos) It was his idea to take them in. And we never looked back. We just rolled with the punches and did what was right and what was best for them. Having Richard become their pseudo-father was the best thing to happen to either of them. He left them with good memories. And good up-bringing.Good manners!  I wished he could have been with them for many more years to come. He was a great man!!
Justin, Richard, and Danny 1983
These are our sons

We all keep him close to our hearts. And he is always on my mind. We love you, Richard! And I miss you. That's why I am yearning for yesterday!!  
Richard, me, Justin, Danny 1987


Our Wedding 1996
Papa with Darian 1998

Papa with Paige 2001





Papa with Harley 2003



In front of the tree where we were married
11 years later
Our last New Year's Eve 2014

36 comments:

  1. such a precious tribute, bless you

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  2. That says something about the character of the man Richard was and the integrity he had. He knew the importance of Darian and Harley being raised in a family by someone who loved them and he was willing to put aside the "alone" time the two of you would have shared to open the door of your house and his heart and your heart and invite them in. And then he loved on them as if they were his own and gave them a start that will carry them through the rest of their days. He will always live on in them and the lessons he taught them.

    Its hard not to yearn when you had such a wonderful love with Richard!

    betty

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  3. Your Richard sounds like a wonderful man. No wonder you miss him so much. Looks like you had a wonderful country wedding:)

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    1. We were married by a lake in the mountains of Colorado. A place where he vacationed as a child and where we took our kids to vacation too. (Back story: we were together for 17 years before we finally got married) He was a wonderful man. I probably have made him even more wonderful after death. It is hard to remember those little things, now, that drove me crazy then!!

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  4. Dear Paula - what a good word for your Y post .. and you certainly express it so well here ... we can 'hear' and 'feel' your love for your man ... and the love that continues on ... cheers Hilary

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    1. Thank you Hilary! The love continues on....I like that!

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  5. These blogs do stir up yearnings. I look at the photos of my mother and miss her so much. I still have my husband but as we get older I think of the time when one of us will not be here and try to savour the present as much as possible.

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  6. I yearn for yesterday too. For so many reasons. Now in retirement - I yearn for the retirement that we planned for but cannot have because life has sent us curve balls. I don't regret any of the choices I made even if they ended me in this place right now. This place right now is not terrible, but with each passing year it gets harder and harder.

    Your pictures, many of which I have seen before, are filled with memories - that much is evident. And they are touching. Enjoy your memories - even if you can't have them back in your actual life. After all, today will someday be memories and you might find yourself yearning for these times as well. At least that is what I tell myself.

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    1. Isn't that the truth! What we yearn for now is a life we thought we were going to have. Maybe we should just be happy with the life we have! I don't regret any of the choices I have made in life either Elaine!

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  7. A wonderful tribute to the man you love. It seems like you had many precious moments together. And wonderful that your grandchildren were able to be raised by him.

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    1. We all had precious moments with him. Thank you Sue!

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  8. What a lovely post. Sounds like you did it right.
    I've only been married two years, and can't imagine life without him.

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    1. I couldn't have ever imagined life without Richard. I imagined it a few times. But it didn't end up like I had imagined! So much worse!

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  9. Sweet photos and memories. Thank you for sharing.
    Blessings <3

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  10. Aww What a nice tribute to a wonderful man! You just never know where life will take you, do you?

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  11. What a beautiful tribute. You were so blessed to have each other.

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  12. I went to your post about your broken leg and all I can say is Dilaudid is a beautiful thing! Your post for 'Y' is very sweet. The photos of Richard and all the various children are so wonderful to have. He was in their lives and they have memories too, that you all can share. You're bringing along him with you through this part of your journey. He's a trooper to pose with the New Year's hat on his head!

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    1. Yes, he was always a trooper for the kids! It was a flight hope that I don't even remember!

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  13. I completely understand the yearning for yesterday. Memories are precious, but can be bittersweet. I followed your blog through your caregiving time. Your posts were heartbreakingly beautiful. What a change in your life now, huh?

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    1. Yes, it is a big change now. One I am still trying to get used to!

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  14. Travelling around in an RV isn't all it's cracked up to be. At least, according to my father. They got an RV, and have travelled around with it, on some very long vacations. There are stories of heaters breaking in cold climates, being stuck in a nowhere town due to a sudden repair, and all sorts of not fun things. You didn't miss anything there.

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    1. I know someone whose parents did it for a couple of years and they loved it. Unfortunately they ran out of money. Money is essential to doing this!

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  15. That A-Z challenge was right before we met here in blogland. Thanks for sharing that horrendous story and thanks even more for all the Richard memories. Good A-Z challenge, once again, Paula.

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    1. Thank you Wendy! And I am so happy that we met during that A to Z challenge and that we have become good friends!!

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  16. Ya know, when I first read your words it was pre-dawn ... and I had to chuckle at the thought of having to reapply my eye make-up. Nevertheless, the tears were worth it ... as are you, m'dear!

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    1. I'm so sorry Myra! It has been that kind of day for me too! You are such a good friend! And I love you!

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  17. Awesome photos! Thanks for sharing them. What a blessing to have had that kind of relationship in your life! I know you miss him, but I can tell by the sparkle in his eyes he'd be the firs to say "Live for both of us!" Or "Bofus" as Pete likes to say.
    Revisit the Tender Years with me at
    Life & Faith in Caneyhead

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    1. I am trying to do just that! Thanks Barbara!

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