Thursday, March 31, 2016

All You Have to Do is Ask

Today we start the A to Z Challenge. When I have done this in years past I always had a theme. This year I don't! I am just going to write stories; smidgens, snippets, & bits, from my life. Things that either have happened to me sometime in my life or things I have known about in one way or another. So here goes....Day One



The A to Z Challenge takes us on a journey through the month of April. We write Monday through Saturday and take Sunday off. Hence, 26 days and 26 letters of the alphabet. Come in and see what snippet I'm sharing with you today.


Ask!

??????????

All you have to do is ask! Ask and you shall receive! If you don't ask you will never know the answer. I am a girl who is full of questions. I like to know! I like to be "in the know".

I have always asked a lot of questions of my kids friends. What are your parents names? Where do you live? Address? Where does your dad work? Where does your mom work? How many siblings do you have? And the questions can go on and on. Sometimes it turns into an easy conversation. Other times it is just a question and answer session.

My grandkids have forewarned all their friends when they come to the house. "My grandma will ask you a lot of questions. It is just the way she is." I have never found a kid that isn't willing to answer questions. If they seem unwilling then I am not nearly as willing to let the grandkids hang out with that kid. Just the way it is. I want to know the kinds of people they are hanging out with.

It is amazing to me that so many of the parents don't know what is going on with their kids today. I was recently visiting with a couple of parents and they were amazed (or horrified, I couldn't tell which) that I checked Darian and Harley's cell phone messages and phone calls. "I would never invade my daughter's privacy like that." Well, good for you. I hope your child isn't in a position to ever need for you to look out for her. I look at their cell phones, at their computers, listen to them talk with their friends, ask questions about the homes they will be visiting. Too bad if other parents think that is an invasion of their privacy!

What do you think? Am I too nosy? You can tell me the truth. I'll only cry for a little bit! But be sure to come back tomorrow to see what the letter 'B' brings.


54 comments:

  1. I always asked too, Paula, and it is a good thing I think. They might resent it, but it is for their own good and protection at times for a parent or grandparent to ask those questions; could save them heartbreak and consequences in the future. Back in the days when my son was in school My Space was popular, I was always on his account checking things out as well as looking at his cell phone. Better safe than sorry I say!

    good start to the challenge!

    betty

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    1. They think I am so nosy. But I don't care! Someday, I tell them, "You will be doing this for your kids" I think parents who love their kids find out what is going on. Thanks Betty! Off to start visiting!!

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  2. Smart people ask questions! When you ask, you learn. I spent most of my career in Sales and that's one thing that I was used to doing: asking a lot of questions. It's how I got to know my clients and their products.
    I'm sure I would've been upset had my mom snooped in my phone had we had cell phones back in the day but I think parents today should snoop. There is too much ugly in the world today and the internet and all these Instagrams and Facebooks and such are just too seductive sometimes...which can end in dire consequences. I think you're smart for checking up on them! Definitely.

    Nice start to the A-Z Paula. I look forward to reading more of your posts in the coming days...

    Michele at Angels Bark

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    1. My mom did snoop. But that was way before we had cell phones, computers, or anything like there is today. I think it is important to know what they are into! Good luck to you as Well Michele!

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  3. Sometimes with teenagers it's a no win situation. If you ask lots of questions they moan you're nosy and interfering but if you don't ask you can get accused of not being interested. Hard to get the right balance. Good start. I will be following along.

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    1. All the time with teens it is a no win situation. But I'm not trying to win. Just trying to be in the know!

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  4. ¡ʎɐp s,looɟ lıɹdɐ ʎddɐɥ ˙spuɐɹƃ ƃuıpɹɐƃǝɹ suoıssnɔsıp ǝʞıl ı os 'ǝuolɐ suoısıɔǝp ʎɯ llɐ ǝʞɐɯ oʇ ǝʌɐɥ ı ˙snoıɹnɔ ʎɹǝʌ ɯ,ı ˙ʇuǝɯǝƃpnɾ ɐ ʇou ˙uoıʇsǝnb ɐ ʇsnɾ ¿ǝuoɥd sıɥ ʞɔǝɥɔ noʎ sʇǝl puɐɹƃ ʇlnpɐ (ʍou) ǝɹ,noʎ ˙ǝƃuǝllɐɥɔ z-ɐ ɹnoʎ ɥʇıʍ ʇɹɐʇs pooƃ ɐ oʇ ɟɟo ǝɹ,noʎ ¡ɐlnɐd ɐʎıɥ

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    1. You crack me up lady!! April Fools to you too. You should have seen me trying to read this by turning my phone upside down! LOL

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    2. Imaging all that was part of my fun today. I had a blast. I'm not in a technology career, but this worked very well! Thanks for being a good sport!

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    3. I loved it Gram! You made my day!

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  5. I always ask myself first before I ask anyone for anything anymore. It just seems only right to ask. Love your post. :) Have a great day.

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    1. Thank you Stacey. It is right to ask first. Soometimes though you just can't!

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  6. I think this is why Grandparents make better parents they have been through it and know that their kids will have lots of friends but only one set of parents to make sure they stay safe and on the right road. Kids (imo) have no expectation of privacy while living in their parent's home. They are mere boarders until they are ready to go out and take care of themselves.

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    1. You said it Wendy! I hope you are enjoying a lot of good diving!!

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  7. I had a very controlling mother so I admit I was not overly nosy as my boys got older. But, knowing who I was in the community and knowing that all the cops knew who they were because of me, they were too scared to get into trouble. They all turned out O.K. It is a very fine line between concern and control.

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    1. I've been called controlling. And it doesn't bother me. That is my job at the moment:to be in control. They will figure it all out on their own later.

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  8. I'm not sure asking questions makes you nosy. I think privacy is a relative thing in a house where you're the kid : ) My girls are both very chatty and shared a lot, so I never felt the need to grill them. I think parenting is more challenging when you have kids who don't share. It makes you feel like you need to ask a million questions. Good luck with the challenge.

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    1. Inquiring minds, right! These kids share too. But I still have to ask questions to get the answers I want. Good luck to you as well.

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  9. This is so lovely! It just means that you have a lot of time to give to others. These days, everyone is so wrapped up in their own lives. No one bothers or cares. I am sure people will feel loved when they meet you. :D

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    1. I hope that is true! Thanks for visiting today!

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  10. I totally think you're doing the right thing! I have 2 stepkids that live with their mother and they have no supervision. They are on all social medias ( fb , twitter, etc) and they wont "friend" us because they don't want us to see what they're posting. Their mom believes they are in the right and doesn't care what they're exposed to. Drives me crazy!

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    1. There is no way my kiddos will be on social media without me knowing....I hope!!

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  11. I ask questions too and I give lots of advice especially about social media (have had a few run-ins with some complete nutters myself) so I know exactly what can go on. I don't monitor my boys' phones and pcs because I trust them to behave responsibly but if I suspected there was anything abnormal going on I would. I know my boys very well (we're very close) so trying to pull the wool over my eyes would be a big fail!

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    1. Nutters on social media can be hard to deal with. I do monitor for reasons I won't share here. I am raising my grandchildren though because I had a blind faith trust in my older son. Won't be that "bury my head in the sand" dumb again. But we each have to decide for ourselves. I'd rather be safe than sorry again!

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  12. Way to go! Social media was unheard of when I was growing up ... still, my parents kept me on a tight leash. I probably wouldn't have admitted it, but I remember feeling extra loved -- compared to my best friend, whose parents didn't seem to give a whit one way or another.

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    1. My mom kept us on a tight leash too. I don't know that I ever thought it was because she loved me that much. She was just controlling. I tend to be that way myself!!

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  13. I suppose it depends. Teenagers probably shouldn't expect too much privacy, as some don't know how to use it wisely. But some teenagers have earned a certain amount of respect because they do behave responsibly.

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    1. I think respect comes when trust is earned!!

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  14. I seldom do it, but I forewarned both my children that I reserved the right to do random spot checks of their phones, their social media, all that stuff. Because even a good kid can get lured in above their ability to cope or handle. I always have a conversation with a parent before my child goes to their house or anywhere with them. And that doesn't happen very often.
    Revisit the Tender Years with me during the #AtoZChallenge at Life & Faith in Caneyhead!

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    1. Often times it is not my good kids I am as worried about as it is some of their friends who aren't being monitored at all.

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  15. I think it's good for parents or grandparents to keep a close eye on their kids. Kids don't need privacy, they need guidance and loving care from the adults in their lives. It's good that you ask questions :)

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  16. Grandparents often have that rapport with their grandchildren that parents can lack - they also have more wisdom and how and when to use it, I think! As for social media it can be a nightmare and keeping kids safe is paramount! Although I didn't actually insist in looking at their computers or phones, I listened into conversations and I asked them lots of questions and reassured them throughout their teenage years (and continue to do) that there was nothing they couldn't talk to me about I would prefer to know - which is why when any trouble reared its head - which is inevitable - they always shared with me and we could sort it out. Another thought provoking post, Paula and I look forward to the rest of your A to Z :)
    Pempi
    A Stormy’s Sidekick
    Special Teaching at Pempi’s Palace

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    1. I used to feel I had that rapport with my grandchildren but then they came to live with me. I became the parent! Not the same!

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  17. Paula,
    As a child, I would have hated that. As a somewhat more mature adult - I think it's great doing that. Especially in this day and age they need you and I'll bet if they know you're doing it it's already helping to curb things a little.
    Also thanks for visiting my blog!
    Anne
    annehiga.com

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    1. As a child, I knew my mom would look at everything. But we didn't have as many ways to get into trouble then either!

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  18. I always ask questions too, how else do you gain info to make smart choices. I missed something the year one of my daughters was a senior. I was busy...you know making a living etc. I will always regret that. So if someone says you are too nosy...too bad:)

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  19. Interesting post. I don't consider asking questions in the context of your grandchildren "nosy." I call it concerned and caring. You're looking out for them. Makes sense to me.

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    1. Thanks Carol. They don't really mind it that much

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  20. Asking is what my previous job was about - teaching. How do we learn otherwise?

    A-Z no 1337

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  21. Hello, Paula. I follow your blog, but don't often have time to read it. Just read your interesting A and B posts.

    @suesconsideredt from Sue’s Trifles
    and Sue’s words and pictures

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    1. I am happy you follow my blog. Sad, you don't read but I understand about not having time. Thank you for your kind words

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  22. Yes , I do check my son's phone once a while...I agree with you on this .

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  23. I have no kids, but totally respect an adult who checks up on what their kids (or grandkids) are doing!

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    1. Thank you Red. And I love the name!!

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  24. "You're a braver man than me, Gunga Din". This is one challenge it would take me a year to prepare for. Enjoyed you post though.

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    1. It really isn't that hard. I used to prepare for months in advance. This year I didn't decide until the last moment that I was going to do the challenge.

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  25. Nope! I check my kids phones, facebook, facebook messenger, everything. I have GPS on their phones so I can track them (just in case, I rarely use it). They have to give me all their passwords and ask before joining any sites or downloading any apps. I also have dropbox on their phones so when they take a photo, a copy goes to the online sight and I can view it.

    It's way to easy for kids to get into trouble and there are ways around my viewing if they figure them out before I do but I could never forgive myself if something happened to them and I didn't do everything to stop it. Let's face it, even the smartest teenagers do the stupidest things.

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    1. I am with you Jeff. And it won't stop me from doing all that I can to see what they are up to, with who, and where. Good to see you here today!!

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I love to hear what you might think. Leave me a comment. I guarantee though that I will delete your comment if you are just here to cause trouble. So tread lightly!