Friday, January 15, 2016
As many of you know, my word for 2016 is Forward!! I am moving Forward. Or at least I want to move Forward.
After Richard's death I have felt alone and lost. I spent the last three years of his life taking care of him. The last full year I was at his side 24/7! I rarely went anywhere during the day. He needed me. He preferred that I was his caregiver. And I preferred that too! I didn't sleep well at night because I listened for his every breath. And he coughed! He coughed a lot! So, it would only be natural that I felt lost after he died.
I have read the intensity of grief will peak three months after the death. And it again peaks after the year anniversary date! I would agree with this. But, I still am feeling the grief. Intense at times. And at other times it is much more bearable.
I have also read there are four tasks of mourning that a person must do before being able to move forward. They are:
1)Accept the reality of the loss
2)Experience the pain of grief
3)Adjust to an environment in which the loved one is missing
4)Reinvest your emotional energy into other relationships.
I fee I have done one and two! I adjusted to my environment through the final three years of taking care of Richard. Those are the three years I lost my husband and became the caregiver. That is when I learned to do everything just like I would have to do once he was gone. "The only way to
adjust to grief is to move through it."
Now I am working on number four. I am changing my focus to be about others. My grandchildren namely! I am preparing myself for life without them too! LOL. That will be a different kind of moving Forward!!!