Monday, April 13, 2015

The Life is Not Fair Lesson

Life Lessons: A to Z Challenge

This is a lesson that I have both learned myself and  taught to others. Life Is Not Fair!! Can I get an Amen, here? We all know that life is just not fair. It can't be. We are not all equals so therefore we cannot all be treated equally. And that will leave many of us (me included) feeling that life is not fair.

I can remember learning this lesson pretty early in life. It is an expression that my mom often said in answer to me whining, "that isn't fair." And I said the same thing to my kids while I was growing them up. And I say it now to my grandkids. Because it is true. Life is not fair!

When I was a small girl, around the age of 7, my dad committed suicide. I thought that was pretty bad. I didn't know another kid anywhere who didn't have both parents alive. Divorce wasn't really running rampant yet in the 1950's. Parents just stayed together for whatever reason. When I figured that out I didn't think it was fair that I didn't have a dad. And it wasn't. But life isn't always fair. Remember I told you that.

Later when I went to school with kids who all wore the latest style of shoe and my mom bought my sister and me those hideous, ugly saddle oxfords, I sure didn't think life was treating me fair. But my mom said they wore well and lasted longer. So we got a new pair in September, every school year, until high school. And we wore them. Or nothing. Life is not fair!

When my mom was older and couldn't take care of herself at home any longer the decision was made to place her in a nursing home. I visited her one morning in the hospital. She was very weepy about not getting to go back home. She said, "it just isn't fair." I remember smiling at her and saying "sometimes, Life isn't fair." She smiled and said "and sometimes you just have to be careful what you teach your kids." But she was right then. And I was right then. And I am right now.

Life is not fair! 

Don't you agree?
 

28 comments:

  1. Great post which was thought provoking and had me chuckling in places. It's not fair that you thought of this topic, I wish I had!

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    1. Sorry Jane that I stole this thought right away from you! LOL! Glad to have you drop in!

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  2. No, life is not fair. So we just get on with it.

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    1. But sometimes I need to stop and whine about it too!

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  3. Hi Paula - good L story .. we get what we need .. and very probably true - trouble is we need to realise what we need .. and then work with it .. but a balance of life ... life is like that .. cheers Hilary

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  4. If we compare ourselves among ourselves, then yes, it would appear life is not fair.

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    1. What else but ourselves do we have to compare ourselves to??

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  5. Instead of "life is not fair", whenever a middle schooler whines that something "isn't fair", I counter with, "A fair is that thing with prize hogs, Ferris wheels, and cotton candy." It confuses them enough that I can move on. Usually.

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    1. That is very funny! Probably would stop a middle school kid right in their tracks!

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  6. Funny how roles reverse as our parents age. Went through similar circumstances when mother had a stroke and she wanted me to slip in a pack of cigarettes since "she saw people smoking out back of the hospital" hardest thing ever was to say no.

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    1. I don't know if I would have denied her the cigarettes. I was taking care of a gentleman in the hospital who was dying. He was very close. His hours were limited. He wanted to smoke one more cigarette before he died (of lung cancer). I turned off the oxygen, closed his door, and gave him his last puff. I have no regrets!

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  7. Very important lesson to learn and maybe sometimes life is fair, we just don't realise it.

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  8. I try not to think of the "unfairness" of life. I just hope I can make a difference to making it more fair for someone else.

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  9. So true that life is not fair. We certainly say that when things aren't going our way, do we ever say life is wonderful when things are giong our way? I'm thinking I know I don't always say that. I sometimes wish life would just be consistent ;)

    betty

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    1. I agree Betty. And sometimes I wish it was just a tad bit fairer!

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  10. Life isn't fair because we live in a fallen world and the rain falls on the good and on the bad. Life isn't fair because God shows us His grace, love and mercy even when we don't deserve them. Hmm. I'm kind of glad that life isn't fair! :)

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    1. I think though that it could be a little fairer sometimes!

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  11. My dad always says something similar. He says, "It's a mortal world!" Mortality was never meant to be easy, fair, or predictable. Loved your stories about when you were going to school. I relate with that for sure. My sister-in-law also had a father that committed suicide. She hasn't gotten over it yet. But she has made the best of it. Thanks for the post!

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    1. I don't know that one can ever get over having a father commit suicide! Thanks for visiting

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  12. Amen, sista!

    On account my ankles kept turning in, my parents made me wear ‘hideous’ (orthopedic) shoes throughout grade school. Then … when I was FINALLY allowed a pair of ‘regular’ shoes, on the first day of 7th grade a boy deliberately stepped on top of my new, beauuuutiful saddle shoes while the other kids laughed.

    Over the summer, I must have missed the memo about saddle shoes being passé! Looking back, I must have believed my folks were made of money because I don’t recall ever having worn those shoes again.

    Life’s NOT fair!

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    1. Oh why is it that bullies are so horrible! I would like to face down all my childhood bullies now! I would just smile at them. And let them know that even though they made my life hell, I survived! Surviving is the greatest "get-back" of all. Nope Life is Not Fair. But sometimes it is!

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  13. Life is not fair but thankfully, for the most part, Life is good

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  14. I've decided to accept (finally) that life is not fair, but I try every day to create equity in my world with family, friends, strangers, acquaintances...because just because something 'is', whether right or wrong, doesn't mean I have to buy into that. right? No idea if others appreciate it or even notice it, but it makes me feel like I'm doing my 'hands and feet' part in this world! Loved the dunce cap image...I agree!!!

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    1. How happy I am to see you my friend! Yep life isn't fair. Now what are we going to do about it?

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