Wednesday, April 8, 2015

The Lesson That Honesty is the Best Policy

Lessons From Life: A to Z Blogging Challenge

I cannot stand liars. Of any kind. Telling lies just leads to telling more lies. My grandson will tell you how much lying bothers his grandma. We have had a discussion or two about this. I would rather be really, really ticked off by the truth than to find out that you lied to 'protect me'. Come on! I am a big girl. I can handle it.

Do you think there are times when lies are okay? Like if your best friend asks you "Do you like my new haircut?" Rather than lie to her I will find something positive to say. Or else I will say something funny so we can both laugh. But I would never tell her how horrible it was. Well, I might! If it was really horrible.

Tell us Eleanor!

One of my very good friends had a baby just the month before my youngest son was born. When I went to see her in the hospital I stopped first at the nursery. There he was! The boy with all that dark brown hair. And he was so big! I went to my friends room and found her sobbing. I rushed to her side to see what was wrong. She said, "have you seen my baby yet?" I told her that I had. She wailed, "he's so ugly, don't you think?" Well I wasn't about to tell my good friend that yes, I thought her baby was ugly (I am one of those rare creatures who find that most newborns are ugly). So instead I said, "no, he isn't. He has the most adorable nose I have ever seen on a baby." She looked at me with tears running down her face and snot coming from her nose and started laughing. She knew I was lying through my teeth. He grew into quite a
Amen Johnny!
handsome young man!!


So I have learned, sometimes the hard way, that Honesty Really Is The Best Policy! What do you think? Is there ever a time that lying is okay?

24 comments:

  1. There's always a nice way to say anything.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm so glad I came back here today, Paula. Yesterday I tried to leave a comment and it was a different format like Google Plus where I have trouble leaving comments. I don't think there is ever any time to lie, not even a "small white lie". A lie is a lie. Now in saying that, I'm guilty of sometimes telling those little lies but I do agree honesty is the best policy!

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad you came back too! I am afraid that many came today and did not get to leave comments because of the Google+ bull! And yep, honesty is the best policy!

      Delete
  3. You were so kind and allowed that mom to see him differently. Good post.

    Thanks for commenting at my blog! I wrote about Honesty today.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think she knew I was lying to her. But it made us closer! I do believe in honesty!

      Delete
  4. Honesty equals integrity. It all counts. It is the best policy :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Love your mention of "ugly baby's" nose, Paula. Laugh.Out.Loud material.
    Unfortunately, I have lived a portion of my life living - and telling - lies. Quite adept I was.
    Looking back, the word 'ashamed' doesn't begin to describe it.
    ANYway(!). To answer your question, yes ... I think 'white lies' in certain circumstances are appropriate. Like, in the workplace. At least in my workplace, honesty is definitely NOT the right answer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't know that you should be ashamed Myra. My mom used to say that when we know better, we do better! All of us are guilty of lying sometimes!

      Delete
  6. In most cases honesty is best because one can only lie for so long before one is found out. The one case where lying is ok is in dementia. Now my mom has dementia and she lived with me. It is difficult to explain in such a short answer without this being a big novel but when I told her the truth, my mom would become very upset and argue and then she would focus on what was being said and it was like going around and around. I had no idea what to do until I spoke to a counsellor at the Alzheimer's society. She told me that sometimes there is what they call "the Noble Lie" They no longer have an understanding like we do and they can become very upset which does not help them so by giving a noble lie, if it calms them down and one can bring them to a different topic one has avoided a huge emotional upheaval. So I try to do this when the need arises. It is one tough disease. I love your response to the new mom-you probably found the best trait on the newborn because I agree that most babies are not that great looking

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes those are noble lies. In nursing school they taught us to meet the person with dementia 'where they are'. If they think their mom is still alive and they are talking to her....then it's not lying when you go along with it. Alzheimer's is a tough disease. Probably the worst of all the dementias. God Bless!

      Delete
  7. I avoid lying most of the time, and I hate being lied to. (Although, students lie to me, but that doesn't bother me so much.) I try to find something nice to say, though.

    And newborns aren't very cute initially. They grow into it.

    Liz A. from Laws of Gravity

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Most of them do grow into it. Don't they!?!

      Delete
  8. I think skirting around the truth as you did with the baby, and as we all should do when presented with a situation such as that, is not dishonest but kind. I think sometimes people will say nasty hurtful things and then add the disclaimer "I'm just being truthful" to justify their meanness. This, to me, is abusing the beauty that should be truth. That being said...to lie to someone about important matters or to escape responsibility is very wrong in my opinion....Although, I have been known to utter the words "Oh, I'm sorry, I'm not available that day....when there was nothing on my calendar at all....Does that count as a lie???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So I am guessing that we all think lying is okay if you are being kind! ?) LOL. I think I have uttered those exact same words

      Delete
  9. I'm with you on the honesty. For my daughter and then my granddaughter, I told them the consequences for lying would be MUCH harsher for lying than for whatever they would be trying to cover up. Lying damages trust and damaged trust in a family is really a tough mend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes mam'! Lying is very hard to forgive

      Delete
  10. Honesty isn't always easy, but it's always the best policy. This is not to say I've never told a lie to spare someone's feelings or avoid a conflict. Nowadays when I'm in those scenarios I tend to say nothing or find/create a distraction, LOL. I've certainly known people who lie to such an extent that they can't keep their stories straight. Everyone knows they're liars, and how can you respect someone like that?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Those are the liars I can't stand. Pretty bad when you can't keep your own lies straight!

      Delete
  11. I always told my kids and their friends that if they told the truth they may get in trouble but if they lied the trouble would be doubled. It was a lesson they all learned, but some harder than others. Great post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep more trouble always for lying. I couldn't agree with you more

      Delete
  12. I really hate lying. Especially the way it is done in my family ( parents, siblings). It is so underhanded and hurtful. I have definitely lied, but usually feel so terrible afterwards I always confess.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Those are the worst kind. When the lies are underhanded from the people who are supposed to love you. I have some of those kinds of people in my life too Ellie!

      Delete

I love to hear what you might think. Leave me a comment. I guarantee though that I will delete your comment if you are just here to cause trouble. So tread lightly!