Sunday, April 12, 2015

The Lesson on Keeping Secrets

Yes!
Life Lessons: A to Z Blogging Challenge

Have you ever been told a secret that you just couldn't keep to yourself? Or have you told someone a secret and they shared it? How did you feel when you heard your secret from someone whom you had not told? Terrible, right? You felt betrayed, didn't you?




It is important to keep a secret if you are told one. There is a reason that someone is trusting you not to tell.  I think you can feel honored if someone trusts you with a secret. You can feel like keeping the secret is either a burden or a delight.  I have been told some secrets in my lifetime that I wish I hadn't been told. And I have betrayed a person or two by telling their secrets.

I find it helpful to try to find out about the secret before it is told to me. Like, "is it a little secret that others will soon find out," or "is it a huge secret that I will have to keep for all the rest of my life." I always want to know before I hear the secret how long I will have to keep it! I have kept some huge secrets that I have not shared with another living, human being!

This secret should be shared!!
I also like to know if I can tell this secret to anyone else.  I told a lot of secrets to Richard when he was alive. (I tell him some now, too) But he always kept my secrets. He never told anything unless  I gave him permission to. Most of the people who told me things knew I was going to tell Richard anyway. So they almost always gave me permission to tell him. There was a time when I betrayed a friend to tell Richard a secret that wasn't okay with her to tell him. But it involved Richard's best friend. And Richard told the secret to his best friend. And my friend ceased being my friend. But I have never been sorry that I betrayed her. Some secrets are not meant to be kept. That was one of them!

If you know you aren't good at keeping secrets you should stop people from telling them to you. Then you don't need to betray anyone. Just put your hand up the minute they say they have a secret and say "I am terrible at keeping secrets. Don't tell me". If they tell you anyway then it isn't a secret they really care all that much about keeping. After all, you warned them!

Are you good at keeping secrets?

Now for weekend news:

SmallCakes
Justin and Paige came to visit this weekend. And since I just celebrated my 64th birthday on Wednesday they took me (along with Darian and Harley) out to eat at Olive Garden. This is a favorite of mine. I had a luscious Italian Margarita along with my salmon and steamed broccoli. Wonderful! Justin also brought me a DOZEN of my favorite cupcakes from SmallCakes (check them out). I am telling you these are the most delicious cupcakes I have ever eaten. The Lemon drop and Carrot Cake are my favorites. And, of course, I shared! Well, except for the Carrot Cake...I hid those to enjoy all by myself. 

20 comments:

  1. Funny, but even as a child I can't recall having spilled the beans - on many occasions, that is. Probably only on account I didn't want others to be mad at me.
    I never thought about asking someone ahead of time what kind of secret they were about to reveal. That's a great idea! I suppose I should feel honored that several coworkers have felt 'safe' confiding in me over the years. But honestly, working for the R.M. it feels like a burden. And there's been a couple of times it feels as if I'm being 'tested' - that the secret is really a red herring.
    Betrayed? Oh, you bet-cha. I thought I learned my lesson a number of years ago at work; then it happened again, just last week. Sad, that the one I thought should be the most trust-worthy wasn't. Damn difficult to live in an atmosphere where you feel you can't trust anyone.

    So glad to know you enjoyed a great birthday dinner with Justin, Darian and the girls. Those wee cakes look delish and (almost) guilt-free!

    PS - BTW, this post didn't show up on my dashboard. I just saw it while reading your book review. (I'm still struggling to regain my love of reading.)

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    1. I did spill the beans a few times. As I have confessed to! I am sorry that it just happened to you again. Sometimes we have to really, really learn the hardway. I am pretty sure those cakes are not guilt free. But I don't care. And I wonder why this isn't showing up in your dashboard. Hmmmm

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  2. Hi Paula - Happy belatedly birthday .. still sounds like you had a lovely day .. and I'm so pleased for you. I think I agree with you re secrets ... usually best not known, or not gossiped about, or as you did if one slips through the net - it ends up being a good thing usually .. cheers Hilary

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    1. Thank you Hilary! Yes, my family makes me feel special even though it is just another day! Sometimes secrets just slip out without meaning to be the teller

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  3. I'm so happy you had a Happy Birthday Paula. It's no secret that I have come to care for you and want your happiness.

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    1. Thank you so much Wendy!! I'm thinking of you guys today!

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  4. I'm so happy you had a Happy Birthday Paula. It's no secret that I have come to care for you and want your happiness.

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    1. I love that you care for me so much that the comment appeared twice. Usually I delete these but I'm keeping yours!

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  5. Another great post! I take other people's secrets seriously. If I listen to someone tell me their deepest, darkest secrets, I try to not let any of that information stick in my mind. They are telling me their secret because they need some relief from it. It is not up to me to do anything with the information ... it is my job, as a friend, to be a good listener. Have I spilled the beans? Yes, I have but it has been a long time since I've done that I am not in the practice of it now.

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    1. Sometimes there are secrets that HAVE to be told to someone. I remember once a co-worker at the hospital was so depressed she secretly told me she was thinking about suicide. I told her secret. She is still with us today!!

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  6. Happy belated birthday! Sounded like a wonderful birthday gathering; always enjoy The Olive Garden and its food (and usually enough for leftovers). Yum on the cupcakes! I would have to try a few myself :)

    I am good at keeping secrets. I think it comes with the job, LOL, in that I can't discuss patient reports, etc., so I think that has helped me also keep other secrets as well.

    betty

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    1. Thank you Betty! Who is that you work for? Maybe I have asked you this before. Patient reports...sounds like the implication of the HIPPA law!

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  7. Sounds like you had a great birthday:) I can keep secrets and have no problem with that unless someone tells me they are going to kill someone...then I would tell the cops but thankfully, that has never happened

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    1. LOL...I guess we all should tell if someone is going to kill someone! Yes, the birthday was great

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  8. I am so glad you had a nice birthday! That makes me happy! Ahhh, secrets. I can be very good at keeping them, but sometimes I have told some. I have regretted that and sometimes not. Like you, I had a friend tell me she was going to commit suicide. This was in high school. I went right to my guidance counsellor and told her, and my friend stopped talking to me for a good while. We are now best friends, and I am so glad I said something.

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    1. I think we have to use good judgment when we tell those secrets. Sometimes those are cries of help!

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  9. No one tells me serious secrets. And some secrets shouldn't be kept. But since I'm usually where information goes to die (I'm the last person anyone tells anything to), it's not like I go around trying to tell people things. So, I probably will keep secrets well.

    Liz A. from Laws of Gravity

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    1. LOL! That brought a smile to my face Liz!

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  10. I'm too good at keeping secrets, leading my friends to trust me with their innermost ones. :D

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    1. Sometimes that can be a burden to be the keeper of the secrets, can't it!

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