Monday, April 6, 2015

The Lesson of Finding Good Friends


Lessons From Life: A to Z Blogging Challenge


I have had a lot of friends in my life. Some I've had for years. And some I've just met. Some I know personally. And some I have never seen face to face.

Friendship is an in-depth relationship that meets the needs of both people. Have you ever had a 'friend' who was so needy that you were never really part of the relationship? I've had a few like that. Interestingly they are no longer a part of my life. That should tell me something don't you think?

You can't pick your family, just your friends. And sometimes your friends become your family. What I have learned through the years is not to have a lot of friends. But to have at least one really, really good friend. Those are the ones that will be there if you need them. They won't have to think of what to say. They know what you need to hear. Friends have to be flexible. They have to be willing to make time for you. And it is a two-way street. You have to do the same for them.  Friends are those who you might not have talked to in months but it is as if the conversation just stopped yesterday.

You have to recognize that not all friendships are good for you. There are plenty of toxic people out there who want to be your friend. And, believe me, I have had my share of those.

Sadly, some of my best friends are no longer alive. But they are still my best friends. And I still find time to talk with them often. When we meet up again we will start right where we left off. Richard was my best friend!

Do you have good friends? Are they like family to you?

Find other Lessons here.

36 comments:

  1. Bizarre ... see, I've been mentally composing my next post about Good, Great and Best friends. (yup.)
    I like your perspective, particularly about one-sided relationships. Sometimes I look back and wonder, "What was I was thinking?".

    Thank you for being a friend!

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    1. And thank you Myra, for being my friend!

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  2. l presently do have a one sided friend; I'm trying to be supportive and realize the circumstances, but it can be draining. I have lots of great online friends (like you) but I need to get out and make more in life friends. Half of the problem is working at home and not getting out much :)

    betty

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    1. Thank you Betty! It is hard to get out and make the real life friends. I love my blogging friends best!

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  3. Being a painfully shy person, I found and still find it difficult to make friends. It’s one of my biggest regrets. I have started to venture out a little now, though. Imagine at my age. Pushing past my comfort zone is not easy, but I am finding it’s well worth it.

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    1. I hear you Lyndagrace! But aren't we thankful for the internet to bring us all together?

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  4. I have been so blessed, Paula, with such amazing friends...God has been so good to me.

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  5. I have a few really good friends, who are like family. I have a couple I have made since moving here, most are back in Ontario. We had a very bad church experience here, and people who proclaimed to be our friends, who loved us, turned their backs on us, when we left the church because they were teaching false doctrine. Since then, it has been hard to trust people and I stick with my family ( my family meaning my kids and hubby) pretty much. It is hard, but it is okay because I have made friends like you, and that is an amazing blessing! Sometimes the friends don't have to be living right where you are to be your closest friends, some of my closest friends are my blogging buddies!

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    1. I understand that Ellie! I have found that many of my blogging friends have been so much better than those I've had in real life. I hope you will find another church that is a better fit.

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  6. Hi Paula - I have a few friends and many scattered around the world .. and there's my blogging buddies who I'm very fond of - as they're there all the time ... also I learn a lot from their struggles, pain and illness ... so I can at least be more aware in my day to day life - as I experience things I'd never experience if I wasn't connected via blogging ... time to think and time to learn ... and absorb, and work through ... everyone was wonderful re my mother and I'm sure you're getting lots of moral support with your loss of your dearest Richard ... We need to learn to say No to some ... cheers Hilary

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    1. Thank you Hilary! Yes, learning to say no to toxic relationships is almost a necessity.

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  7. Very true about family and friends. My parents taught us to choose our friends wisely. One of the best life lessons ever.

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  8. I love my friends. They know me inside and out. The best. I coincidentally did "Friendship" also today. Its good to be drawn to those that cherish it.

    As I See It Daily

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  9. I think as we grow older some of us look for different things in our friends. I always wanted children and when all my friends had kids it made me sad to hang out with them so I found new friends. I miss the old ones but such is life. Sometimes we have to move on.

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    1. I have found that to be true as well. Then when my kids left home I needed to find the empty nesters. And now my grandkids are back and I just stick with my blog friends. So much easier that way

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  10. You are so right. I have great friends. I have 3 that will be there for me no matter what so I consider myself rich beyond words. I also have friends who are there to listen and to have fun with. Some friends come in for a reason or the season but some stay your whole life

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    1. That is a good way to put it: for a reason or for a season!

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  11. Completely agree with you. Sometimes it's not easy to see at all because as humans we want to give chances to friends who have fallen off the path. I personally cherish my friends with absolute love. They mean the world to me. :) http://sytiva.blogspot.com/

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  12. Interesting post! I am trying to catch up with what I've missed over my blogging intermission. I don't . . . and haven't for a long time, considered myself good friend material. I even go so far as to tell people that. I don't think it because I consider myself rude, or mean, or selfish. I think it's because I am a somewhat private and quiet soul and mostly tired from working and raising my daughter and now my granddaughter alone. But, like some who have commented on your post, I enjoy reading and learning from blog friends and can do that as I get the time, which most frequently is ay 4:00 in the morning. I do have family whose company I enjoy dearly.

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    1. That is pretty much the way I am too, Gram. I am not good friend material. Friends on the internet are so much easier

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    2. Paula: We should start a digital club! Oh wait, maybe blogging and commenting is enough for some of us non-friend material type folks. Sigh. . . I am hoping retirement and GN growing up may change things, but I'm not so certain.

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    3. That is funny Gram. A digital club would be all some of us could handle...meaning me! I have retired and mine are 17 and 15 so I would think that would give me more time for friendships. But I just don't have the energy at this moment! I am happy with my blogging friends!!

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  13. Good friends are more precious than gold. And no, I don't have any of those.

    Liz A. from Laws of Gravity

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    1. Good friends? Or Gold? I agree with you though

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  14. You are right about friends. I have two that are my besties. They are more like my sister's i have known them since kindergarten and one since 6 th grade and we have been threw thick and thin. There the greatest. Looking forward to reading tomorrow's letter g. Have a good evening

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    1. Ill be happy to have you back again Stacey!

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  15. Friends from the past are still friends, even when separated by time, distance, or death. The memoires are there.
    Over from the A to Z.

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  16. Another one over here from the A-Z. I agree that some more toxic friendships can be so draining. Sometimes you need to be cruel to be kind, which I'm not very good at, unfortunately.

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    1. Yes that is true Greenpatches. I am too honest for my own good. I think it is because as I get older I just can't waster time in the toxic relationships

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  17. Friends! The ones who can be a sounding board, and also a teddy bear to hug when you're sad, who can give guaranteed good advice at any time of the day / night!

    I've not been quite lucky in the friends department, choosing to be a recluse has been a safe option till date.
    But I've met a really sweet friend in college, and I sure as heaven don't want to lose her anytime till I die!

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    1. I am also a recluse Mithila. That is why so many of my blogging friends are so important to me!!

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