Thursday, April 2, 2015

The Lesson of Change Being Hard

( I am posting this early tonight as we have severe thunderstorms moving into our area and we might lose power)

Let me see a show of hands if you think change is hard! I detest change. I always have. I am perfectly happy when things go along the old way and we never have to change. But that just isn't the way life is, is it? We have gone through so many changes in our life. Most of them are good for us. Some have been horrible. Some of them define who I am today.

I am thinking about where all of us would be right now if computers had not brought about changes in our life. I can't remember, hardly, what my life was before the internet. But learning how to use the darn things was a lesson on change.


I don't want to imagine my life without a computer. What would I be doing? Not talking with you, that's for sure. Learning how to use this computer was not easy. I taught myself. And if I ran into problems I called on Fred, our computer guy. He told me to play around with it. Everything can be fixed! That was his motto. And he was right.  He had to come to our house many times to show me that it really could be fixed. I often couldn't understand a thing he said. But he would have me up and running again. Until the next time. Then, slowly, I started calling him less and less. Many days I wanted to throw it all in the trash.  I did a lot of ranting and raving. But there were also days I am glad I have the whole world at my fingertips. The world, where I have met you, my lovely readers.

When I stopped smoking was a serious life change. I liked smoking. I loved nothing more than sitting down with a cup of coffee and a cigarette on my breaks at work. Or sitting on the patio with a cold beer and a cigarette after work or on the weekends. I loved smoking. I knew it wasn't good for me but it didn't matter. I started smoking (behind my mom's back of course) when I was around 15. And I smoked until the day I quit on October 31, 1999. It was the hardest habit I ever broke. Stay tuned for lesson: Tobacco is addicting!



Now I am dealing with another hard change. I am learning to live without Richard. After 35+ years together I am a widow. This is not a change that I wanted. And I don't like it. Many times change is not up to us, is it?  Change! It's hard.

What changes have you found to be hard? What changes have been good for you?


Find my other Lessons here.

36 comments:

  1. Hope you weathered the thunder storms okay if you got them. I hate change, but we seem to have lots of it in our lives, don't we? Good for you that you did give up smoking all those years ago! I can't imagine this latest change you are enduring with the loss of Richard. I'm sure it has been the hardest thing you continue to have to do.

    betty

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    1. We did have storms. Damaging winds (thank goodness our house is okay) hail, no electricity for almost 3 hours. All is okay today but colder. Changes we have no choice but to deal with!

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  2. Hi Paula - change is I believe good, but I do like to keep life on a normal course .. then I can deal with any changes I want to make, and any changes society usually gives us notice of. Things going wrong take us by surprise .. but I should really practise what my mother told me in the last years of her life - do what you can today, don't leave it til tomorrow .. something I must make effort with this month - get ahead for the future ...

    Yes major change is always difficult - and I congratulate you on giving up smoking ... and I know you are having a tough time without Richard - but it's so good to blog ... and express yourself .. cheers Hilary

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    1. I think some change is good! But sometimes when change is just for the sake of change...maybe not so good. When I worked at the hospital and they changed things (when the old way worked better) then that was hard! Thank you Hilary for being so supportive!

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  3. Change is definitely hard, like when our all our kids moved out. That change brought bittersweet feelings , but in the long run has been a good one. It's nice not having to take care of so many people all the time. Of course, I miss my children and I loved doing everything for them, but I'm sure you can relate to what I mean.

    However, I always told my kids this about change...doing nothing is easy, anyone can do that. But change requires effort and determination. It's not for the weak. If you want to fix something, then you got change! Some changes are good (like quitting smoking) and others aren't, especially those that are out of hands like in losing someone you love. I can't imagine nor do I want to think about such things.

    We have technology on our side (for the most part) which is a good change. Social networking is a virtual bridge that expands from one person to another, allowing us to share experiences and offer encouragement to new/old friends from around the world.

    Being apart of the #AprilA2Z challenge is a wonderful change for bloggers to perfect their craft as a writer, photographer, hobbyist, artist, cook, or other creative passions.

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    1. When my oldest son moved out....it was hard! I thought my life as a mother was over. Even though I still had one still at home. It was just a change I didn't want to deal with. Then the youngest left and it wasn't so bad. He came home often! That helped. Then I got used to it and it was wonderful. Then came two grandkids to live with us. Now I am facing empty nest again in a few years Whaaaaaaaa!!!

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  4. Hi, Just catching up with your A to Z entries. Change is tough, I always say I quite happy for things never to change, but they do in any case. Sometimes the changes make us happy and sometimes so very sad. However, humans are resilient and resourceful and somehow we get through. I am glad you are doing the A to Z this year, I first encountered your blog in the A to Z last year. Good luck, Mark Clough http://olivegroveview.blogspot.gr/

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    1. Thanks for returning to check me out Mark. Many changes in my life since last A to Z!

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  5. I missed out an "am"!
    "I always say I AM quite happy for things never to change."

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  6. I generally sailed into the wind. I do remember that I despised microsoft and didn't make the change to windows until I could no longer buy a dos based computer.

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    1. I've never had anything but Microsoft! But when they stopped supporting Windows '98 I thought I would die....

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  7. Bravo for you for embracing the hard changes in your life, Paula! Learning how to use a computer is major--but kicking the smoking habit--that's outrageously hard and courageous. I know that you'll be able to navigate this current change and come out stronger on the other side (you have a proven track record, after all!). Going from a full house to an empty nest was a rough change for me. Another rough change was getting healthy again after my caregiving journey. It took a long time, but each year I think I'm a little bit healthier!

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    1. Yes the smoking habit was much worse. There are still days I think I could easily start smoking again! But I won't. I need to really work on myself getting healthy again after my caregiving journey. Hard!!

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  8. The way your life changes after you lose someone is definitely one of the hardest things to get through. Hope you continue to be strong in your new way of life.

    I don't always do change well but it's one of those things you have to just keep going with. It's usually hard but quite often what comes next (like giving up a bad happen, or starting something new) can be better than what came before. :-)

    Cait @ Click's Clan

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    1. You are right....HARD. With a capital H! But what choice do I have but to get through it! Thanks for visiting.

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  9. I can only imagine how hard it can be to learn to live without your spouse. But I have seen many women, who once the initial grieving has lessened, blossom out as their own individual selves like never before. We tend to stand beside our mates, even behind our mates, and a piece of us can get lost in that. I also have observed that women seem go on to live fuller, richer lives after loosing their spouse then men do. May God guide you in your journey.

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    1. I am positive that I never stood behind Richard!! He'd tell you that too. But I didn't stand beside him and we completed each other. I don't know that I want to bloom or have a fuller, richer life. Well at least not right now. Guess it might be too soon!

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  10. Change for the sake of change is harder to accept for sure. My company is going through a huge merger and I'm seeing change on a weekly basis. It sucks!! Sometimes change can be so great like for myself- I got married for the first time less than 2 years ago and I love it. Losing someone and adjusting to those changes can be so painful. I'm so sorry for those hard times. Prayers for peace and comfort in your days to come.

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    1. Thank you Holi! And good luck with your marriage.

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  11. I really really have a hard time with change. Even someone moving something around freaks me out! LOL!
    I remember the first times I worked on a computer at my new job. I was so afraid of messing something up - or "breaking it". My boss told me to just take my time and that there was basically nothing I could do that couldn't be fixed - and that relaxed me.
    The hardest change I've been through is when I moved away from my entire family in Ohio - in 1974 - to come to Virginia with my husband. I'm still having problems with that change!

    Linda in VA

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    1. Moving away from your family would be a hard change to accept!

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  12. Too many changes lately and I used to be cool with change but as we grow older it gets more difficult!

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    1. I think it is the opposite for me. It seems the older I am the more I roll with the flow!

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  13. Change can be a good thing, but initially... I think you first have to process it through being sad or angry or confused. But once you get to the other side things can be good. Eventually.

    Liz A. from Laws of Gravity

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  14. So sorry you are missing Richard. For me, change is good. It always takes me back to using my noodle and figuring it all out. Being content with all that is what matters to me. If I am content... then change is good.
    As I See It Daily

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    1. I have met a lot of people who like change. And yes, I am missing him!

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  15. Hi Paula!

    Count me on the side of those who loathe change! Looking back, the only ‘happy’ change I recall was escaping Florida back in ’02! Then again, the old saying ‘Be careful what you ask for’ comes to mind. Go figure!

    I can’t tell you how many times I’ve squatted in less-than-optimal circumstances, because the idea of breaking out seems terrifying.

    Seriously, I wanted to weep when you mentioned enjoying a cigarette and beer on the patio after work. My physical cravings have long disappeared, but the mental is something else. I can only hope the Great Hereafter contains a smoking lounge!

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    1. LOL! I know exactly what you mean Myra. I'll wait for you in the Great Hereafter's Smoking Lounge

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  16. Change is often very hard but I find that it is usually for the good. Quitting smoking was the hardest thing I ever did in my life!!!

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  17. My son hates change (this is the kid who had no intention of leaving the womb, so I'm not really surprised). Neither he nor I like to mess with family traditions. Okay, I don't like change a whole lot, either, but I'm not as bad as he is :) I think one of the main reasons I don't like change is because I'm lazy and it's too much trouble to do things differently. But you're right, some change we can control, some we cannot. I think I adapt pretty well to the change I can't control.
    Guessing from your Google+ site, but I think we shared the same severe weather. We had three tornado warnings Thursday night.

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    1. We were predicted but never had a storm! I think sometimes we just go crazy because it is predicted. I am much more laid back about storms than I used to be

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  18. You're right; change can be very hard. My daughter is going through some difficult changes right now and trying to get a handle on them. A couple of changes that were good for me and our family? Moving away from the big city to a smaller one and going from full- to part-time work.

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