Wednesday, April 1, 2015

The Lesson of Beauty Being Only Skin Deep

Many years ago, when I was but a young girl, my mom told me that "beauty is only skin deep." At that time I was pretty concerned with how I looked. And I judged others by how they looked. When she would remind me that beauty is only skin deep I had no idea what that meant. Just another of her dumb 'isms'. You know the kind. We all hear them from our moms, don't we?

As the years passed, I became the wise one,  I learned what this means. The beautiful people aren't necessarily the ones I want to surround myself with. Sometimes the package is appealing. But their hearts are ugly. Sometimes those who are beyond beautiful only have eyes for themselves. They can't see beyond the end of their own nose.

 

When I met Richard I had already learned that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Beauty is only skin deep. In this man I saw the beauty those who loved him saw. He was kind. He cared for me and for my sons. He made them his sons. His beauty went all the way to his heart. And he wore it well. So with his bald head and his fat little stomach I looked beyond and found my soul mate. And to me he was the most beautiful man on earth.
Do you remember being fickle in your young years only to learn that 'beauty IS only skin deep"?

You can find all My Lessons here.

46 comments:

  1. Snap! And I love your Gibran quote - so true ♥

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  2. Yes, it is so true. I will always look first for the light in the heart!

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  3. Ooooh ya. And to underscore this 'ism', I have to deal with that sort of individual almost every day. In the end, I suppose I should just be happy we're not married. LOL!

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  4. How true this is. I used to be bullied quite badly and told how ugly I was and spat upon by the so-called popular/beautiful people. In this day and age when image is all, we must go within and find what is truly beautiful. One day I will print off what Audrey Hepburn wrote about beauty-she put it quite well

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    1. Bullying has always been around, hasn't it? It probably is just considered worse now because of social media. But I think we are wise to look beyond the outer shell. It takes time for the youth to learn this.

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  5. I think that is why God looks at the heart and not at the physical.

    betty

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    1. Exactly Betty! Yet he continues to give us the outer beauty to test us. Me thinks!

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  6. Hi Paula .. how true that is - people exude their care and love ... you were so lucky to find Richard and he cared very deeply for you ... cheers Hilary

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  7. I met my husband online. We communicated only by email and phone for six months. We did not exchange photos. We kind of described our perception of what we thought we looked like to each other. You know the standard things such as height, hair and eye color. By the time we met in person, I was already in love with his soul.
    I have to admit, I sometimes wonder what it might feel like to be skin deep“beautiful”.

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    1. How long have you been together? I think meeting 'without seeing' would definitely mean you aren't looking at the package

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  8. I was such a literal and naive person I was a young adult before I understood the meaning. My brain didn't process these analogies; I struggled with the meaning.

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    1. My grandson is the same way. He just doesn't understand when I speak like this!

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  9. I look at a person's heart and motivation first and foremost. Even as a teen ager. I still remember the bumper sticker Mean People Suck. Still holds true today.

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    1. You were one of the lucky ones to be able to see it like that at a young age. Most of us weren't that fortunate!

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  10. True Words Paula....funny how our parents who were so dumb when we were growing up become so wise when we get older.

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    1. Isn't that the truth Wendy! I'm hoping my kids and grandkids will someday see that I wasn't so dumb after all!!

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  11. Yes, but that's exactly why I went for the not so good looking guys who were jerks too. Ugly guys can break hearts too.God smiled on me when I met my current, very handsome husband who does have a good heart and soul but only wants me to see that inner stuff. It's too girly or something for him to show it off. So good luck seeing him with a smile. When he does smile, it melts my heart.

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  12. As a young child, I was always told, "Pride goeth before a fall." It made no sense to me then and little sense later. But eventually, I did realize that I was really being told to submit to the desires of other people. Unfortunately, those desires were usually harmful. Still, as an adult, I had to learn that some requests for me to submit are valid: my boss actually pays for a job and it's my responsibility to do it the way I've been asked.

    thanks for this post. There are so many gems of wisdom just waiting for the right moment to unfold. Visiting from A to Z,

    Drusilla Baron
    http://lovedasif.com
    http://glamofgod.com

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    1. Yes there are! I hope you will come back for more!

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  13. Lovely post today for the letter B :) I've never really cared about appearances (being raised in the country and homeschooled played a large part in that lol), but now that I'm an adult and a mom, I struggle with how to handle my kids and the social pressures for them to look and dress a certain way at school. Thankfully at this stage they're mostly oblivious to it (my 10 year old wore shorts with tennis shoes and black socks, pulled up, to school yesterday in 50 degree weather, eek lol).

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    1. Hey, here in my neck of the woods, she would be in-style. My 15 year old granddaughter often wears shorts with black Nike (they have to be Nike) socks and tennis shoes....

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  14. True beauty is hard to find beyond what we can see, but it is worth searching for. :)

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  15. Hello there.
    Beauty really is only skin deep. If we were to follow every desire of our eyes, we would lead very sad lives, never happy or satisfied...always on the lookout for perfection that doesn't exist in this world! I particularly like the scriptures at Proverbs 16:31 and 31:30.
    Thanks for sharing.

    Entrepreneurial Goddess

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    1. Nice to have you visit today! You are so right.

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  16. Hi Paula! It's so nice to meet you. This is my first visit to your blog and I just love your post. You're spot on. I have my own wonderful guy who loves me for over thirty-four years. He doesn't look like the heroes I write about in my romantic suspense novels, but boy or boy, did I hit the jackpot the day he asked me out. We are both such luck women.

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    1. Yes we are! I wish that I still had my prince! Thanks for visiting!

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  17. People have become so visual and it should not be that way. I think our parents had something. When I look at old pics of my GG grandmother, boy they had no makeup on and, well, could have used some. However, no one knew different so everyone was appreciated on who they were. I liked this post. Good on Paula.

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    1. I agree. My mom rarely wore make-up. And she insisted that I learn how to wear it right. She did not want us to look 'painted-up'.

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  18. You know, I have never really spent much time thinking about physical appearances. When I was in nursery school, there was a boy in the class who was autistic and mentally handicapped, and he and I became fast friends, even though he was clearly different ( and he bit me!). I care more about what a person is like on the inside. I have worked with many handicapped children, some so severe they could not move on their own. But even though outwardly they would be considered "ugly" in the world's eyes, they were the most beautiful, most loving and smartest people. They taught me about who I wanted to be, and taught me so much more than I ever taught them.

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    1. You are a very special lady Ellie, my friend! I am glad that you didn't spend time thinking about physical appearances. If only more could be that way now!

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  19. It is the only beauty that grows more radiant as time goes on. Wonderful post. Thanks for sharing your memories of this "ism" that, it is true, we most all learn at our mothers' knees.

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    1. Thank God for mothers! Good to see you Zippi!

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  20. Oh, yes! Some of the most beautiful souls I have ever known wouldn't have turned any head. And even though I thought my Pete was a looker when I married him, he is more precious to me now and even more handsome.
    Life & Faith in Caneyhead
    I am Ensign B ~ One of Tremp's Troops with the
    A to Z Challenge

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    1. I always thought my Richard was a looker too. But then I was older and smarter and saw his beauty from within.

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  21. It's funny how the truly beautiful people (those with real character) might seem unattractive at first, but once you get to know them they shine with a beauty that makes the physical unimportant. And the opposite holds true as well.

    Liz A. from Laws of Gravity

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    1. That is so true Liz. It can either work for you or against you! I love those with true beauty!

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  22. I think we all are guilty of judging someone first by his/her appearance. Isn't that usually why we are first attracted to a boy or a girl? I found like you, beauty goes beyond the surface and often times it's those who are a little less than beautiful or handsome who have the best personality, the kindest heart, or compassionate spirit. There are rare exceptions where someone possess beauty outwardly and inwardly. Of course, I can't help in thinking sometimes beauty has nothing to do with a person at all who happen to unattractive from the core out.

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    1. It was the looks that attracted me when I was young. But after a few really hard lessons I learned to look deeper!

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  23. I think it can be very easy to judge people by their appearance and I hope that it's something I haven't done very often.

    It took me until I was an adult to stop judging myself by my appearance. I always used to look in the mirror and find faults with myself but now I'm at a stage where I can look in a mirror and be happy with what I see.

    Cait @ Click's Clan

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    1. I still look in the mirror and judge myself

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  24. I am in my teenage years.. and I've got a face covered in pimples and scars.
    It used to affect me at first. Like, people used to choose not to talk to me, coz I looked kinda ugly, and who would want to be associated with someone who looked ugly?
    But I found a friend, who told me, I am way more beautiful than the harsh comments I give myself. He brought my attention towards my eyes. I feel, they are my best feature. My eyes mirror my emotions, and go all wide and sweet when I'm talking to someone.

    He also brought my attention to the fact that I'm a really nice person. Someone who can be a typical 3 am friend. And he said that, that's exactly what matters. Be a beautiful person, not a wicked person with a beautiful face.

    Now, I no longer care whether people call me ugly or choose to make me the photographer (and not the one in the frame). I've just learned to take it in my stride!

    Thanks for an amazing blog post, Paula!

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    1. The teen years are tough Mithila. I just encourage you to keep smiling. You are a beautiful person. When you get older you will find that people will love you for what is inside not what the package looks like. I can already tell you are an amazing person!!

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