Wednesday, April 1, 2015

The Lesson of Acceptance

Some times you have to accept what you are given. You don't have to like it! But you have to accept it. What others say about you for instance. Or who your family is. Or how long you will live. These are things you can't do anything about. So accept it.
 


Things about myself I have learned to accept: I am tall, I have a big nose, and sometimes my family isn't all I dreamed they would be.

When I was younger I used to dream of being petite. Being tall isn't something you can change. I once had a stranger tell me that I should stand up straight and walk like a Queen. I have tried to listen to that advice.

I have a big nose. So what! The better to smell with I say. And I can smell things really good. The good and the bad things. Sometimes you have to sniff out the bad things. But my big nose doesn't make me ugly. It just is part of who I am. Like being tall.

You don't chose your family so you might as well accept them. All families have those who are quirky. Just accept them. And surround yourself with good friends. Because they might become the family that your family can't become.

In 1941 Alcoholics Anonymous adopted The Serenity Prayer as their motto. I think it is worth sharing here.



Accept the things you have lost. Whether it be a first love or the diamond from your ring (I lost mine recently) Accept the loss and move on. It's kind of like crying over spilled milk.  Find a new love. Get a bigger diamond. Accept the losses.

You have to accept the situation the way it is. You can change your outlook. Maybe you just need to laugh about it. If the tire is flat you have to change it. Don't let it spoil your day.



 Just accept life for what it gives you. Make the best of it! I haven't always been able to do this. The older I get the easier it becomes. Acceptance becomes easier.



This has nothing to do with acceptance but I just want to add: Always kiss your spouse and your kids good night. No matter how mad you are at them. I often kissed Richard and told him I loved him through clenched teeth. I remember being so mad at him one night as I left the house to go to work (I worked 11p to 7 a).I stormed out and drove up the street. And then I thought, "what if he died tonight while I was at work!" I turned the car around went into the house and kissed him good night. He kissed me back with a twinkle in his eyes. I told him, "I'm still mad at you but I love you" and out the door I went again.




You Can Find all of My A to Z Life's Lessons here.

43 comments:

  1. Hi Paula - excellent post ... loved it - and so true ... the Serenity Prayer is a good lesson learner ... you've done an amazing job with your family ... enjoy the A-Z .. cheers Hilary

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    1. Thank you Hilary. Yes, I have always liked the serenity prayer!

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  2. I've found a sense of humour and not taking yourself too seriously goes a long way to accepting all that life throws at you. Loved your post.

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    1. Where would one be without a sense of humor?

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  3. Your willingness to accept your circumstances is even more moving given the loss of your husband. It seems we have widowhood in common. I am happy to have met you through A to Z and look forward to hearing more of your insights x

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    1. Widowhood sucks! Happy you visited today

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  4. Growing up, all the storybook princesses were petite, had tiny feet and wavy hair. I grew tall fast and my feet grew even faster. I slept in spoolies resulting in random kinks in my hair. Now my wavy haired daughter takes an iron to straighten her hair but her height, even taller than me, was an asset in sports. Your nose from your photos looks proportional to your face. Let's hear it for tall girls!

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    1. I have big feet too! And was blessed with the straightest of straight hair. My sister got the curls and she hated it!

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  5. I have such a lot of family to accept, it's become difficult. And I don't have a lot of family.

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    1. LOL....I totally hear what you are saying!

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  6. I lost the diamond out of my wedding ring last May. I had only been married 9 months and I was so devastated. Fortunately the jeweler will replace it - no questions asked as long as you get it checked every 6 months. I have my new diamond and its almost exact. ( no 2 diamonds are exact but they can get close).
    Great outlook and post. I'm very short and I've always wished I was taller. Stopping by from the challenge.

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    1. When I lost my diamond it was shortly before my husband died. I was sad but not devastated. I knew that what I was really losing was going to be harder. My family suggested that I replace it, but I chose not to. It just wouldn't mean the same to me!

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  7. We have a lot in common, Paula; I'm tall and have a big nose too :) I did want to be petite too until I have a short friend (4'11") and if she gains a few pounds it really shows. I gain a few pounds I can hide it in my height.

    Great post about acceptance. So true we need to accept, especially that which we cannot change. If we don't, I think we end up totally frustrated with life and with our circumstances. Wise advice to give to never go to bed angry (or at least kiss first through the anger :)

    betty

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    1. That is so true about being tall and hiding the weight. Except I can't hide mine much anymore. There is just too much of it! LOL! And yes, kissing through the anger helps!

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  8. Good points--especially about kissing.

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  9. The Serenity Prayer got me through some rough and rocky days. And yes, I too, find it easier to accept things as I grow older. To roll with the flow. Great entry!
    Life & Faith in Caneyhead
    I am Ensign B ~ One of Tremp's Troops with the
    A to Z Challenge

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  10. I've come to accept my big nose as well :) Good luck with the A-Z challenge this month!

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    1. LOL...what else can we do. Well, short of plastic surgery that is!

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  11. Hi Paula,
    It's so nice to be reminded that it's OK to be who we are - thank you - allows me to continue on with MY life with less burdens.

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    1. It is good when we reach that age where we accept ourselves the way we are!

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  12. Great post Paula...accepting things that cannot be changed is a big step towards finding happiness.

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    1. I'm looking for that happiness Wendy!

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  13. Perfect word to start out on! Accepting things as they are a huge battle sometimes, but in the end its all we have.
    Looking forward to visiting through the A-Z!
    As I See It Daily

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  14. Very well said! I never thought your nose was big. Now the big feet you mentioned in a comment doesn't surprise me given your height. Tall folks need bigger bases on which to stand. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

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    1. It's one of those sibling things, Gram. They always made fun of my nose. And you couldn't be more right. A tall lady like me needs big feet for her foundation.

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  15. I LOVE this post, LOVE it!! You are so right! With the stuff I have been through with my family, I really appreciate your wisdom. I don't think you have a big nose at all! I do think you have a big heart though, and I am so glad we are friends!

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    1. Awwwww Ellie. You are so special to me as well!

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  16. Great post, my friend! I've said it before, but your resolve is really enviable.
    Me, I'm still prone to go tilting at windmills.
    ... for instance, my nose! Wish I'd gone ahead and had plastic surgery when I had the chance - but didn't want to upset my parents.

    Your reminder to turn around and take the time to say, "I love you" is so poignant. You're right. If my spouse or loved one passed, I don't think I could live with the regret. Personally, this came at just the right time!

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    1. LOL...Myra...tilting at the windmills!! I don't know if I really have as good a resolve as I put out there! I am always glad that no matter what Richard and I were going through (and we went through a lot) we always let each other know how much we were loved!! I have that to sustain me now.

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  17. I love this post! It is so true and I love that quote. My mom often recited that quote. It is hard to do but we must make the best of everything and not let it get to us. We can't change family and we are built the way we are built. Funny, my mom was only 5' 2" and she always wanted to be tall:)

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    1. I have found that to be true all my life. The shorter ones always want to be tall and the tall ones always wanted to be shorter! Funny how we aren't satisfied with what we are.

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  18. Just in case someone didn't say it already, "Please do stand up straight, and walk like a Queen." One of the DD's, who is 5'9", loved being that tall. I told her of her very tall Irish relative, a great grand mother, while she was growing up.

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    1. LOL. I do try to stand up straight and tall. And now I pass that wisdom on to my granddaughter! She is going to be tall too!

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  19. You can't change other people, but you can change yourself if you want to and create a new dance.

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    1. Yep! But I am still trying hard to change some others that I know

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  20. I've been away from reading blogs way too long. Thanks for email me today. Man, I have some catching up to do. Like....a million things in my reader. I think I work on your "Lessons" first! Back in the day, when I got sober (15 years now, OMG!), my mom made me a cross-stitch sampler with the Serenity Prayer on it. It has hung in every office I've ever been in since. I'm looking at it right now. Great post.

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    1. I loved hearing back from you Lisa. I think of you and Joe often and wonder how you guys are!

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  21. Great post! I love your sage advice! And the serenity prayer always seems to pop up just when I need it! Looking forward to reading your other A-Zs...
    Michele at Angels Bark

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    1. Thank you Michele! Only advice that I have learned by living life!

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  22. Great post! I love your sage advice! And the serenity prayer always seems to pop up just when I need it! Looking forward to reading your other A-Zs...
    Michele at Angels Bark

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