Monday, April 6, 2015

My Simple Woman's Daybook Entry-April 6th Edition

For Today...
Today is April 6, 2015. If you have stopped by to see my A to Z Blogging Challenge post  for the Letter E, then you only need to scroll down and there it is. Go ahead and read all about my life lesson of Eating Only Those Things That Taste really Good!

Outside my window...
Like usual, I am writing this at midnight on Sunday. It is dark and cloudy but the temperature is 54*. Not too bad. I won't complain. I am hoping we get back up into the upper 70's this week. I like the feel of the warm sun on my face. Don't you?


I am thinking...
I am thinking that tonight I am feeling very melancholy. We just celebrated another holiday without Richard. He loved Easter. Really he loved all holidays. He loved having family here. The more the merrier. It isn't much like that anymore. We had 6 for Easter dinner. But we had the things that he loved. We had spiral glazed ham, scalloped potatoes, fresh broccoli, carrots, rolls and Sopapilla Cheese Cake for dessert. Have you ever eaten Sopapilla Cheesecake. It is really, really easy and oh so yummy. Here is the recipe I used (except I didn't drizzle it with honey. I will next time!!)
Justin loves this so much that he ate X (I won't say how many pieces) and I sent home a few pieces with him for later. He loves all cheesecakes actually.

I am thankful...
I am thankful that the Lord Jesus Christ gave his life for me! And I was thankful to celebrate Easter and know that He is risen!

I am wearing...
I am still wearing what I wore during the day today. Black slacks and a purple shirt. Black socks!

I am creating...
As it is usual for me, I am creating this day book entry, as well as ,my weekly menu. I haven't been all that creative lately!

I am going...
I am going to go see Paige play soccer here at our local high school on Tuesday. This will be her first and her only game here in Hutchinson. Go Andover! Go Paige!

I am wondering...
I am wondering what the heck is wrong with my toe. It is red, swollen and hurts like heck. I can hardly walk today. And wearing a shoe is out of the question. I soaked it once in Epson Salts. Didn't feel much better after that. It feels like it is in the joint. Oh it hurts so much!!

I am reading...
I am still reading Odd Thomas by Dean Koontz. I am powering through it. It is getting a bit better but I am still not finding it a non-put-down-able book! Maybe it just isn't my book.

I am hoping...
I am hoping my mood is more up tomorrow. I can't just keep feeling on the verge of tears. I have to keep getting up and going to the other room to cry. I really don't want anyone to see that I am so weepy. I am not sure what it's all about. But I have a feeling it is a holiday thing! Do you ever have days that you just feel weepy all day long?

I am learning...
I've told you this before. I am learning that this business of grief is hard. And it's horrible. And it sucks!! And no amount of hoping, or praying, or believing is going to make him come back. And that is the only thing I can think of that will really make me happy right now.  Just have him sitting right there in his chair. Coughing his fool head off. And giving me that big, ol' toothless smile of his. The smile I loved so much.

In my garden...
I haven't done a darn thing about getting my garden anymore ready than it was last week. I do think I will plant a tomato plant, maybe 2. I think I will plant some zucchini. And possibly a cucumber plant. Otherwise, that will probably be it for this year. Taking care of everything else and running the kids around will probably be about all I can keep up with so I'm not pushing my luck! I would love to have a huge garden and plant peas, green beans, carrots, radishes, onions, potatoes, strawberries...ok, that is enough dreaming for now! What will you plant in your garden this year?

In my kitchen...
Monday...Ham, eggs, Hash browns, toast
Tuesday...We will probably eat out
Wednesday...Church for kids
Saturday...Roast, potatoes, carrots
Sunday...Spaghetti, garlic bread
I am determined to get these Lasagna Beef roll ups this week. I've had them on the menu and I want to try them. So we'll cross our fingers and hope this is the week.


A favorite quote for today...
I know this to be true. I don't know why sometimes it has to hurt. But I know that all the hurts, as well as, all the good things in my life if why I am the person that I am today.

A peek into one of my days...
My days this week:
Monday...Darian has Scouts
Tuesday... Paige's soccer game
Wednesday...Happy Birthday to me! 64 years!
Thursday...take Darian to PT with his Marine poolies.
Friday...nothing planned. Maybe a movie night
Saturday and Sunday...Justin and Paige may be coming to spend the weekend again.

One of my favorite things...
One of my favorite things to do is visit new blogs and find new friends. That is what I am doing now with the A to Z Blogging Challenge.
I find new bloggers that write about the things that I am interested in. And I get to know some of my current blogging friends even better. Like my friend Betty who blogs at a Bench With a View. She is telling us things about herself this month and her new home in Arizona. Go visit her is you get a chance. Tell her I sent you!

From the board room...
I have this pin on my Spring Cleaning Board. You can find the actual post here at I Should be Mopping the Floor blog. I have used this and I have to tell you that it is the best cleaner to remove all the soap scum off my glass shower doors that I have ever used. The secret is getting that vinegar hot! If you haven't tried it, you must! 

Post Script
For a post script this week I want to encourage you to keep reading my A to Z  Blogging Challenge. And you might even think about doing it next April. It is fun! Really, it is!!



  1. That cheesecake sounds amazing! I am going to put it on our menu for next week to try ! I hope you toe feels better soon!!! Have a great week!

    1. Let me know what you think of the cheesecake!

  2. Hope your toe is back to normal soon. He is always there but he's not coughing anymore. Blessings.

    1. I hope you are right. Maybe if he would cough a bit I would know he is here! :)

  3. GO ANDOVER! GO PAIGE!! That cleaner is the best ever, isn't it? I use it all the time! How is your toe feeling? Yes, there are days when I feel weepy all the time, or at least most of it. I did on Friday, I don't know what was wrong with me. I hate days like that, they are awful and long and horrible. Those holidays without someone we love are so hard. I am only now just getting past some of the sadness of holidays without my dad....he has been gone for 32 years, he passed away when I was 13. Every year would be "If dad was here we would be doing this", etc. And Christmas carols made me cry, and doing things we used to do would make me cry. And the silence that just seemed to be there was deafening. Even though I had family and friends around, it was still profoundly lonely and sad. It gradually got better, but there is still something missing, and I hate that feeling! Big hugs for you Paula, it is so difficult.

    1. Yes it is the best cleaner for soap scum. I need to mix some up soon. Thank you Ellie for understanding what I am going through. It is hard!

  4. OMG. Just this morning I was Googling possible solutions for calcium build up on my shower glass. (… and here you are!)

    Backing up a bit … I’m seriously afraid to open that cheesecake recipe! Like Justin, I’m crazy for any kind of cheesecake and probably couldn’t stop. Do you happen to have a Cheesecake Factory nearby? (Run, my friend!)

    Uh-oh, speaking of running. I wonder if you’re not suffering from gout? I had that years ago and words can’t begin to describe the pain, like someone was sticking a steak knife into the joint. Best I can recall it just went away on its own. Let us know, OK?

    Definitely, I suspect holidays are some of the worst to get through when a loved one’s spot is empty. This may sound odd since I never met him, but I bet-cha Richard's so proud of you for putting on that Easter dinner and wearing a smile ‘in spite’ of it all!

    1. You have to try this cleaner Myra. I was blown away! No Cheesecake Factory in my town. I'll have to ask Justin if there is one where he lives. I've wondered too if it was gout. My dad and all of my brothers suffered from gout. Yes, I imagine that all the holidays will be bad

  5. I wonder if you toe could be gout? You should check it out with your doctor. Grief takes time and there is no time limit on it. You will have good days and bad days and that. You do have family, friends and your own strength to rely on even when you feel it is not there. The emotions you feel are real and true. It will take time and if this loss happened recently then you are going through a series of "firsts"-this past weekend being Easter. It is ok to be upset-there is nothing wrong with that. Crying for no "reason" can happen and does happen to all of us but that day shall pass. I have heard a quote that I love "It is better to walk with an Angel through Hell than with the Devil through paradise"

    1. I love the quote. Thanks for sharing it with me. Yes, he just died in July. It is pretty fresh!

  6. I'm with Myra and Birgit, I thought of gout with your toe. That cheesecake looked delicious! I think holidays are always hard when we miss the ones we love; it wasn't a person, but I was weepy missing Koda yesterday so I can imagine you being weepy missing the love of your life with Richard and I know that was a far greater love than I had for a silly corgi. I think it is okay too to cry and let others know you are hurting or grieving. I bet they are thinking some of the same thoughts you might be, but afraid to say anything.


    1. Koda was family to you Betty. I imagine you miss him as much as I do Richard! I think the rest of the family aren't feeling the loss as greatly as I do. I might be wrong! Try that cheesecake!

  7. Happy Birthday Dear Paula, Happy Birthday to you...And please allow yourself to grieve without guilt...there are no set parameters....

    1. Thank you so much Wendy! I do continue to grieve my way. I don't feel guilty about it!

  8. Hello Paula..I hope you are feeling better soon, both inside and outside :-) Praying that you feel encouraged soon and that the Lord brings the right person into your life to speak the right words for you. Have a lovely rest of the week. Thank you for taking part in the daybook!

    1. Thank you Peggy! And thank you for hosting each week. I am a long time follower!

  9. Hi Paula, I am sorry you are struggling. I agree that grief sucks and is one of the hardest things in life to deal with. My heart and prayers go out to you. Your cheesecake looks yummy. Feel better soon.

  10. I am so sorry to read that Richard has passed. I check in with your blog no and then, but I have not been by in awhile, so this is news to me. I'm sure there is a huge void in your life after doing so much for your husband. Can I ask what finally took his life? You may remember my dad has parkinson's too - he will be 92 next month. His voice is getting weaker and he has chronic UTIs due to his sp tube. Every infection, I think this might be the one that takes him down. I pray you have some peace is know that Richard is not struggling anymore. God bless you.

    1. Yes Marianne he passed in July. A very sad time for all of us. He had been on Hospice for the last 16 months. We started with getting rid of all the medications that he was one. Then he started with swelling and coughing and they put him back on the diuretics. He had a catheter too. He was on propolactic antibiotics for kidney and bladder infections. Doctor said it was heart failure. Yes, I remember about your father. No there is no peace for me. Not yet anyway. I'd take him back in a heartbeat.


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