Monday, October 27, 2014

WAKE

This is part of my 31 Day Five Minute Free Writes challenge within a challenge. I will be linking up with 31 Day Challenge at The Nester's as well as at Heading Home. For a list of all my letters you can go here.


My darling Richard:

Each morning when I first awaken, I think of you. Before my eyes open it is easy to pretend that you are still here in the room with me. I listen hard for the oxygen concentrator softly hissing. It isn't there. I strain to hear you talking, mumbling, even coughing. But those nosies are gone.

I open my eyes and I look around the room. The hospital bed is gone. The walker and wheelchair have been returned. We have rearranged the furniture to be how it was before you became so sick. And you are gone. The room is full again and yet it is so empty. I am waking now. 

I sit in your recliner with a cup of hot coffee warming my hands. You are gone. I watch out the window as the trees gently blow and lose their leaves. And you are gone. I rock gently back and forth and think of how I need to replace the chair I am sitting in. And I wonder if I will be able to do that. It's your chair! And I am now fully awake.

Another day without you in it.

Forever and ever,

Paula

14 comments:

  1. You have done a great job with this challenge, Paula. I'm sorry though for the theme. I wish you could awaken and have Richard alive next to you.

    betty

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    1. Thank you Betty. Writing these letters have been cathartic and therapeutic for me.

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  2. I think your choice to write letters for this challenge was a wonderful way to help with the healing process. Perhaps Richard slipped that idea into your head.

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  3. I cannot even begin to pretend to know what you are going through right now, Paula. May it comfort you to know that there are people whom you've never met who are praying for you...for God's grace and strength and peace. Hugs to you, my friend.

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    1. Thank you Dianna. It is not something that I could have known beforehand either. It is not the same as the grief of a parent or a child. It is so totally life encompassing. Thank you for the prayers.

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  4. You are a very special woman, Paula. I hope that writing these letters to Richard will help you. I know that's what he would have wanted.

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  5. Another beautiful letter. I know this writing is helping you cope!

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  6. Paula, have I told you yet how sweet these letters are? What a beautiful story they tell.

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    1. It is our story. And I am coping with the grief by sharing it here

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  7. Wonderful, Paula. Seriously, I think these would make a impactful (I just made that word up) book someday.

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