This is part of my 31 Day Five Minute Free Writes challenge within a challenge. I will be linking up with 31 Day Challenge at The Nester's as well as at Heading Home. For a list of all my letters you can go here.
There's so much I have yet to learn. You were always trying to teach me what you thought I needed to know. Like checking the oil, checking the tire pressure, putting gas in the car. You told me I had to learn these things because "I won't always be here." I didn't want to learn any of it because I knew you weren't going anywhere. You insisted that I learn how to change the furnace filters. How to start and maintain the mowers and the gas-powered trimmer. But I only half-heartedly listened to you.
I could almost see that small little sh**-eating grin as you looked down last week, when I struggled to change that furnace filter. I could almost hear you whisper "I told you so". So, I should have listened. I should have learned. But I didn't. I planned to hang on to you forever. It just didn't work out for me, did it?
Something that I have learned since you left me is that grieving is hard. I didn't expect this. I thought I was prepared. I am a nurse for goodness sake. I had helped many, many families with the beginnings of their grief. I had no idea how hard it would be to wake up without you. To come home to an empty house. To sit at the dining room table and you are not at the other end. To wake in the middle of the night and listen for your breathing. I have so much to learn. I miss you!
Watch over me as I learn,