Thursday, October 9, 2014

CARE

This is part of my 31 Day Five Minute Free Writes challenge within a challenge. I will be linking up with 31 Day Challenge at The Nester's as well as at Heading Home. For a list of all my letters you can go here.

My dear Richard:

I just want you to know that I still care. I will always care. That is not something that goes away. You can't love the way that we did and then stop caring when one person goes away. I feel you slipping further away each day. Not from my heart. But from my head. Even though it is stuffed full of memories I am having a harder time actually seeing your face in my mind. I have your pictures and I look at them often. But your face is slipping away.

I imagine that is normal. Part of the grieving. Part of the brains way of protecting me from so much pain. I won't forget you. You need not worry about that. But I won't, probably, suffer so much each day. And I know that will make you happy. You never liked to see me suffer. You hated it if I was in pain. No matter if the pain was physical or emotional. You wanted to always take my pain away. 

So I want you to know that while I still grieve I still care. I will never stop. You were not my first love. But you were my last love!

Forever and ever,

Paula

14 comments:

  1. As I read this post, I feel like we are talking as friends. Your words are so open, so raw and so real. Thank you for inviting me on this journey! I love reading your blog! From #FMFParty and write31days http://www.bethanyboring.com

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    1. Thank you so much for visiting me Bethany!

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  2. And your last love was such a wonderful love! I know this is a sad subject you are writing about, Paula, but you are doing a great job with the theme and the words. I'm getting to know you and Richard more through these letters you are writing to him.

    betty

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    1. Thank you Betty. It is my hope that I share Richard with my readers and you all get to know me better on the way....

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    1. I wish that he were here so that you could!

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  4. Sometimes reading your letters to Richard is hard for me because I fear the day that I am walking in your shoes. God bless and keep you Paula. You are a very strong woman.

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    1. I am not at all a strong woman. I am so much weaker than you all think. Yes, it is a scary path to be walking! Thank you Wendy

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  5. Here via 5MF... your words are so simple and raw, and so beautiful. I think all of us who have lost a loved one "get" this moment in grieving, where the faces seem to drift away from our memory. It's a terrifying thing. Thank goodness we have photos to help remind us now and then.

    Blessings to you,
    Melissa
    http://www.measi.net/measiblog/

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  6. Paula, I am blessed to once again be able to read this time as you give us permission to read your letters to Richard. Praying for you.

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    1. And I am blessed to have you here reading them...

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  7. These letters are so wonderful. What a brilliant idea. And (as I always say), what a beautiful love story. I am glad you are realizing the healing that is happening. When I try and picture my Daddy - I see a couple of my favorite pictures in my mind...not a random picture in my mind. Thank goodness we have our pictures to keep their faces fresh in our minds. Using your experiences of losing Richard to find the patience and strength I need with mom right now. Today has been a pretty good day so far...

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    1. Once again I thank you my friend. I think of you often and what I know lies ahead for you. You are my blessed friend

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