Today I went to the bank. The bank where we have our checking account. We have a savings account at another bank. I never really understood why Richard wanted it that way. But that is the way that it is. Today I had to take his name off of the checking account. And put the account into my name. I can only do one thing a day. It is too over-whelming to me right now. I've been told by so many people what a strong woman I was while taking care of Richard. Well, where the hell is that strong woman now? If you see her will you send her home. Because I need her.
Why does everything have to take so long. First of all, we had to wait for one of the managers to get freed up so that she could help me. And then she admitted that I was a "guinea pig" because she had never removed someone from an account because of death. I had his death certificate with me. It is required. I bought and paid for 5 of them. $15.00 each. And not one place, so far, has kept it. They make a copy and give it back to me. But I cannot take a copy to them. They have to see the original certified copy that I paid $15.00 for from the State. Ridiculous, right?
And then it took so long. Questions asked and answered. Social secuity numbers given. Address and phone numbers. None of that changed, but they need to verify I guess. "Just scratch his name off", I wanted to shout. But she was just doing her job.
The lady at the bank was very nice. And offered her condolences. She was a stranger to me. But she knew Richard. Her father worked with Richard in Boy Scouts. And Richard helped her son with obtaining his Eagle award from Boy Scouts. She talked fondly of him. It strikes me as odd how many people knew him. And that people thought he was a good man. That gives me peace. A little! I know that this will continue to go on as I make my way through all the days ahead. He was very active in this community. Very civic minded. He talked to everyone. He was a people person.
I cried less today. And if I am not thinking of him every single waking moment then I start to feel a little guilty. But then the grief comes over me again. And I wish I could not think of him as often. It's as if I am losing a bit of my mind. But it is what grief is all about. Even when I have known for the past years, the past months,the past weeks, that death was coming, I am still so surprised how much it hurts.
I will keep sharing my thoughts and my pictures. This picture was taken on his last day at work. Well, the job that he worked for 40 years. He did other part-time jobs too. But this was the job that was his career. He retired in February 2000. Then we took a cruise. Hence the leis we are wearing.....