|in the Rockies around 1987|
But then came Monday, July 21, 2014. The day my routine changed forever. The day that the love of my life left this earth. And left me behind. Now that I can do what I want to do, as I often longed for, while he was alive....I don't want to do anything. I go through the motions. I get up and go through the day doing the things that need done...like laundry, cleaning house, cooking, mowing the grass, running the kids here and there. And missing my husband. I cry. I sob. Sometimes I moan. But there is no more routine.
I know that I will find my groove again someday. But right now, it's gone. And the days are long. And they seem empty. I seem adrift. I feel alone. Even when others are around, I feel alone. I feel that I am the only one that is missing him. The only one with the big hole in my heart. I know that is not true. He left a big void in this house. In our hearts. In our lives. I just feel alone.
Today I am joining my friend Lisa at My Sweet Peanut where she hosts One Word Wednesday. I am no longer a true caregiver. Now I am a caretaker of the grandkids (or are they taking care of me) and I am the caretaker of our memories. Please come and join us.