Monday, June 30, 2014

Another Page or the Final Chapter?

I am not sure if we have just turned the page on this great book of life, or if we are entering into the final chapter.  Today he does not want to get out of bed. Anyone who knows Richard knows how BIG this is. He fought really hard not to have a hospital bed brought into our home. He was sure that meant he was going to die. He finally agreed to having the air-flow bed and it has been set up in the living room since November. For the most part he is only in it at night. More recently, due to some pressure sores on his bottom, he has been napping in it, in the afternoon. It has now been the fourth day since he has set in the recliner. And today he won't get up from his bed at all. I have been turning him from side to side. I gave him a protein shake for breakfast and he ate a cupcake a bit ago. He is napping now. 

I just made arrangements for Hospice to come once a week and bathe him and I can fill in with sponge baths on the other days. He doesn't get very dirty. I worry about pressure sores so we will monitor that closely.

We received word on Friday morning that Richard's best friend has passed away in Alabama. They were very, very close. I told him on Friday and didn't get much of a reaction. Just, "that's sad. My leg hurts". Very self-centered at this stage, just like a 3 year old. But today I read him the obituary in the paper and he cried quite a bit. He said that he is happy to know "that I will have my buddy waiting for me in Heaven." Breaks my heart in two, but I am happy that Ken will be there also.....  

20 comments:

  1. Sending prayers and love your way, Paula.

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  2. This breaks my heart. I can tell you are worried and want to do the best for him. Bless you both. I'm scared of those pressure sores. Mom has one of those inflatable egg crate things for those days when she refuses to move. I don't know that it helps, but the nurses said it can't hurt. I guess sometimes that's the best we can do.

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    1. Richard has what they call an alternating air flow mattress.....but it is the sitting in his recliner or the wheelchair that causes the most pressure.

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  3. That is sad about his friend passing. Not that I'm a judge with anything, but in my inlaws' last year of life (they died at 85/88) both slept a lot. They weren't on hospice, though my MIL probably should have been, but that's another story for another day. I think hospice will probably be able to tell when the final days are approaching, which I hope is not any time soon for your hubby.

    betty

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    1. Thank you Betty. There are days that I hope his last day is very close and then I decide that I am not ready for it at all.....

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  4. Oh, Paula, I am just continuing to pray for his comfort and your peace. There are no words that I can say to comfort you. This is just incredibly sad and I am so sorry.

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    1. Thank you Fancy...that alone is enough

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  5. Damn, if God wouldn't just give us a clue! The just not knowing is awful. Please know, I'm holding you both in my thoughts and prayers.

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    1. Thank you Myra...we are in a holding pattern here now!

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  6. Hi Paula .. always difficult to break news such as Ken's ... but it sounds as though you got it right and Richard was able to cry and take it in ... also his approach is encouraging ... you are doing so well and I hope the pressure sores ease .. with thoughts - Hilary

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    1. Thanks Hilary.....I am always happy when you visit!

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  7. He is now leading a life he would have hated. I hope his time is soon for his sake. And I pray for that for your sake as well.

    When mom was so sick in the hospital I was angry with God. I prayed ... Make her well or take her but she does not deserve to suffer. She suffered enough in life. I pray that God makes up his mind soon for you.

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    1. Yes, he would hate this if he could comprehend what is going on. I guess that is why it is best this way

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  8. At this point, he only has the energy to focus on himself. That is quite natural. We withdraw within ourselves to preserve our core in the worst of times.

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    1. That is so very true. Thanks for reminding me

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  9. Ken will not only be there for him but he may come and get him to ease the transition. During Pops final day he was very agitated and restless. He had soiled himself and was fighting with us as we tried to clean him. He did not recognize anyone or anything but was very, very upset. Suddenly, his eyes opened wide, he broke into a huge smile and said clear as a bell "Hey, how the hell have you been, I haven't seen you in so long". Pops immediately calmed down, fell asleep and never awoke again in this world. I believe my Uncle Dick came to take him home to Heaven that day.

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    1. You just gave me chills my friend. Being a nurse has given me many beautiful opportunites to witness those who come to accompany the patients home. I think, for the most part, there is nothing more beautiful than a peaceful death.

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  10. Oh dear. Paula, I am reading this a little late. I just want to add to the dialog here, that I have a friend who nearly died, who calmed down when she saw her deceased and beloved Nana come toward her and comfort her. We are not in this alone. I completely agree with you, Paula, there is nothing more beautiful at this time of life, than a peaceful death.

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    1. Thank you so much Zippi....it is hard only on those of us who are left behind!

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