Monday, March 10, 2014

We'll call This Stage 3

I am going to call this stage 3. Hopefully we will move out of it and back to stage 2. But if not, then I am getting myself ready. Richard has been sick again. He is also having another bout with CHF (congestive heart failure). It was a very long, long night last night. Wasn't sure he would be with me this morning. But the good Lord is just not yet ready for this man. An extra visit from the Hospice nurse today. She gave me lots of reassurances and that is what I was needing. Even though I am a nurse, I am a wife first. And even though I think I am ready, when it looks like it is going to happen I don't want to let go of him just yet. No matter taking care of him is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.

The new plan will be to care for him while in his bed during the day now. And let him be in the chair in the evening. I just cannot get him up by myself any longer. He is no longer bearing weight on his feet at all. I had to cut off his pj bottom's last night when the catheter was giving him problems. So the pj bottoms are gone for now as well. The nurse has restarted the diuretics and he will be on oxygen 24/7 for now. We were able to get his wedding ring off of his very swollen fingers. His feets and those private parts we don't discuss are also very swollen. And his lungs are full of fluid. So it is cough, cough, cough. 

But he ate a bit of supper tonight. He is taking fluids well still. And his color has greatly improved today. I am hopeful.

Thank you all for your thoughts and your prayers. It is a long, long road. And I don't know how close we are to the end of it. For now we will take it one day at a time.

On a good note, it was 80* today in Kansas


16 comments:

  1. Oh Dear Paula. I wish I could be there to just hold your hand and let you know that I care. I remember those days with my Pops. It is so hard to see them like that and so hard to be ready to let them go. I will be praying for you, for Richard and for the kids. May God's peace be with all of you.

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    1. Thank you Wendy. It is better tonight. It is the ups and downs that are killing me! But we will take the prayers for sure

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  2. So sorry to hear this; glad you have a good hospice nurse that gave you reassurances. I will say a prayer for you and your husband.

    betty

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    1. Thanks betty! It is crazy that he is already better tonight after just one diuretic. It is the roller coaster ride that is the hardest part for me.

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  3. Across the miles, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope you are able to rest now. You must be so exhausted.

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  4. Across the miles, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope you are able to rest now. You must be so exhausted.

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    1. Thank you so much GNG. It means a lot to me.

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  5. Sorry about the duplicate comment. The first one didn't go and I had to fill out the form again, but when the second one went, the first one did too.

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  6. You will never be ready for the end because the end is a place you have never been before. Thinking of you, friend.

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    1. That is probably right! We are always afraid of the unknown!

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  7. I can't even imagine the absolute roller coaster.... I pray for your strength.... it's much to endure.

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    1. Thanks April. It is what I need more than anything The strength to get all the way to the end.

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  8. Oh, dang! I'm newly back from vacation (sans internet) and my brain's still awash ... but want to let you know, I'm ramping up my prayers! Big hugs, Paula!

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    1. The Hospice nurse was here again today and she could not believe how much better he is today from Monday. Thanks for the prayers though! We will take as many as we can get

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  9. He has constantly been in my prayers. You as well. I am happy that your hospice nurse gave you lots of reassurance. I know that I would need that if I were in your place. Love you.

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