Thursday, March 6, 2014

I Will be Willing..Or Not

Every Friday I write with a group of ladies on Five Minute Friday just for the joy of writing. Lisa-Jo picks a word and we write what is in our heads and our hearts. We try not to over-think or over-edit. And then we share. The one rule is to visit and offer encouragement to the person who linked just before you. I try my best to get to as many on the list as I can. Everyone has such a different take on the words. This week's word is: WILLING

Go:

I am usually pretty willing to do most anything. I had to be willing most of my life. The career that I chose led me down a path of caring and here in these years I call 'retirement' I am willing to care for the one who chose to care for us all those years ago. We also chose to be 'willing' when we opened our homes and our hearts five years ago to two of our grandchildren, who were in need of care. Richard was, by far, more willing than I was, but he convinced me it was the right thing to do. And it was! 

I am willing to let go! I am willing to forgive. I am more un-willing when it comes to forgetting. I need to be more forgiving to people in my life who have left me hurting. But I am unwilling to be walked on. I am not willing to settle for less. I am unwilling to take all the blame. But I am willing to move on.

Really, I am willing! I am willing to keep trying and learning and living. But I can't take on more than I can do. For that I am not willing...

Stop

click to join with Lisa-Jo and write for 5 Minutes

24 comments:

  1. Happy I hopped over from FMF. I love how you know who you are and why and what you will and will not accept for your life. Not too many people know those things, never mind are willing to announce them to the world. Very brave and beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It hasn't always been the easy path! But, then I never was about taking the easy road. Happy you stopped by

      Delete
  2. Stopped over from FMF. I really enjoyed this post because I need to be more direct with what I am willing to do and not do, accept and not accept, and what I am willing to do to achieve those things in my life. Very honest, simple in theory, but never easy path.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No it isn't the easy path. And it brings with it some hurt and pain. But it is what I have to be willing to do, for now

      Delete
  3. Ahh not sure I would be willing... Thanks for stopping by my blog.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank YOU for stopping by. Sometimes I think we shouldn't always be so willing.

      Delete
  4. Boy, we are the willing -unwilling sisters under the skin. I could have written this post myself. And I'd you substitute grandparents and parents for the words grandchildren our stories are remarkably similar.

    I would take this thought process one step further and say that my willingness has been self destructive because each caregiving experience has taken a piece if me. And now at 66 there aren't too many pieces of me left. Unfortunately for me, I am still giving to mom and while she may be winding down in living, my husbands needs continue to increase.

    I really need to get a blog post out soon, but problem with mom are growing just now.

    Still if "willing" is part of who you are, you find a way.

    Finding my way right now, and a few prayers at 2:30 last night helped me find my way back to sleep.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Being a caregiver is just like being a parent. And I always advise that you have better be willing to do it because it will often suck the life right out of you, if you are not! God Bless you Elaine!

      Delete
  5. LOL...I saw your post and I thought WOW Paula is sure up early today! Then I looked closer and saw that you posted last night. So this morning when you do wake up and are done with all your morning chores I hope you take a moment to congratulate yourself for always being so WILLING to do for others. Have a wonderful day Paula.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Wendy! I am NOT always so willing. That is the point I am trying to make. I am only as willing as I can be. Because sometimes I have to put up my barriers or I won't be able to finish the job that I have been given to do. It is so easy to allow others to get under your skin, if you are willing.

      Delete
  6. I love this post, Paula. You are an amazing person, I hope you know that. I often wonder what I would be willing to do for other people, and that is being tested as I type,so... I guess I am willing, too! Hope your weekend is wonderful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hope you have a good weekend as well Elena! You deserve it

      Delete
  7. This was a good topic to write about; I have to agree with what you said about the situations you were willing about and those you were not. It is hard to forget when someone has done something wrong against us, even though we are willing to forgive them. I hope today is a good one!

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can be willing to forgive. But I Won't forget. And I won't let it happen a second or third time! Thanks for stopping by

      Delete
  8. Hi Paula,
    Thanks for leaving your URL at my blog, so I could visit you. Funny, but what you said is almost exactly what Gary Chapman said on the radio today about forgiveness. He said forgiveness doesn't mean you forget because we have memories, but it does mean we go to God with our emotions and pain when those memories come up. He also said forgiving doesn't mean trust is automatically built back because the offender needs to show s/he is trustworthy.

    Enjoyed reading your post...Thank you :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was my pleasure to stop by your blog. You are right about forgiveness. But all of that is much easier to say than to do. I so appreciate your comments.

      Delete
  9. Found you via the A to Z Challenge from a comment you left on another blog. My dh has MS and we are starting to deal with more caregiving kinds of issues. I'm hoping to learn from you- it's a scary thing some days, and I wish I handled things better. Love your thoughts on being willing... that's a lovely word. And I can't wait to check out more 5 minute Fridays!

    Julie @ Julie 2 Jules

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Come and follow along on my journey! There are a couple of others here who are caring for mothers with Alzheimer's disease you might follow also. It is a hard and scary job. But when we said "I do" we became willing to care for them for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. Didn't we?

      Delete
  10. As I see it, "forgetting" repeated wrongs would mean that you set yourself up to be victimized again, whereas forgiving means keeping your heart open to seeing the good in someone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is how I see it as well Snow!

      Delete
  11. Loving your resolve in this post. Perfectly placed exclamation points and wonderful, honest words!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Lisa! If I am nothing at all I will always be honest

      Delete
  12. I get it. Especially about the forgiving and forgetting. I am still having some issues forgiving a certain person in my life, but I am working on it. When people tend to hurt me, I withdraw from them. I don't give them access to hurt me again. I call it "putting another brick on the wall" I am trying to break down those walls when it comes to certain people, but it is usually the people I am closest to that hurt me the worse. Great topic. Love you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Isn't that the truth, Cristy. Why is it that the people we love the most are also the ones who hurt us the most?

      Delete

I love to hear what you might think. Leave me a comment. I guarantee though that I will delete your comment if you are just here to cause trouble. So tread lightly!