Friday, February 28, 2014

Five Minute Friday


Every Friday I choose to join with a bunch of ladies who write for five minutes on one topic. We try really hard not to over-think it, or edit, or get really worked up about our writing. We just set our clock, use the prompt that she provides, and write  from the heart for five minutes. Her only rule is to visit the person who linked up just before you and offer her some encouragement. So here we go. This week the word is Choose.

Go
Someone recently asked me how long I was going to continue to do this. 'This' meaning, keep Richard at home and take care of him. Yes, it is the hardest job I have ever had. But I made this choice. And I made this choice for many reasons, but most of all because it is a promise I made to him, in front of God, at the side of a beautiful lake, in the great state of Colorado. That promise included these words: "to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, for better or for worse." This is what I chose to do. It IS what I choose.
It's not easy, that's for sure. But when you marry someone do you really think the rest of the days of your life, until death do you part, are going to be easy. Our life, leading up to the day, when we repeated those vows to each other, had already been difficult. I had been to nursing school. All the while working, as many hours, at whatever jobs I could find, to help support us. We put up with all the trials and tribulations that come with raising two boys. We purchased a house together and many cars. We were already like a married couple. Yet we hadn't made any promises to each other. In front of God. So when I stood there in that field of wildflowers, at the edge of Lake Isabel, near Rye, Colorado, with my best friend at my side, and made these promises, it is what I chose to do.

I did not know he would be sick someday. I did not know he would get Parkinson's disease or have a stroke. I did not know I would choose to keep him home with us. But it is what we have done. And I would choose it all over again.

18 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing your love story - and the challenges of faithful love. My step-father had parkinson's - He had been such a vibrant man. My mom kept him home for as long as possible. I think support from family makes the biggest difference. Wishing you blessing this week - and blessing in the journey!

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    1. Yes it is a difficult journey. I am very lucky to have two teenaged grandchildren living with me and a son in a near by town to give us support. Thanks for visiting

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  2. It is easy to allow others to judge us. Just remember they are not walking in your shoes and the choice is ALWAYS yours. You need not explain or apologize but I am glad you did. It is a lovely story and shows the true meaning of marriage and commitment. God bless you Paula..

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    1. Thank you Wendy. Yes, marriage is truly a commitment. I didn't know how hard it would be the first time around. I get it NOW

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  3. Oh. wow. I've never been to your blog before so I know very little about your story. This post really tugged at my heart strings though. Sometimes I look at my husband (he'll be forty in a couple of months) and I'm so overwhelmed with love for him that I am instantly plagued with "what if something happens to him and I'm left to care for the fraction of him that remains? Can I do that? Am I strong enough? Would he want that?" I don't know why, suddenly, these thoughts come to me. I feel like it is the MOST loving and faithful thing a spouse can do for the other... to care for them. I think it's absolutely beautiful that you are doing this. As an adoptive parent I can tell you that people don't understand a lot of things... We've lost many a friend because of our choices to adopt and love our kids.

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    1. We never, ever know when they really will need us to care for them, do we? Thanks for visiting me today

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  4. Hey Paula - what a beautiful story and what a beautiful heart you have. It's so easy for people to casually tell us what "saints" we are and ask us again and again if we've "explored" any other "options". Your love is amazing and whatever choice you make - I have no doubt it will be made from love. Keep up the great work and have a blessed week.

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    1. Thank you for your very kind words Lisa. It is the hardest job I've ever loved. almost like parenting.

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  5. You're right..thank goodness we don't know everything that is coming up...but just take love's road one choice at a time

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    1. It is good that we can't forsee the future. I wonder if we could, would we make different choices.

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  6. Wow! You sure packed a lot into five minutes . . . and a photo to boot! It is good to know that there is a husband who is in the good and kind care of his wife. You and I have the strokes and the catheter in common too. The strokes are what took him from me much too soon. I loved the photo you added!

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    1. Well, as I have admitted before, I do write for 5 minutes, but I am way too much of a control freak not to think about it first or edit it after. And I always have that picture at my fingertips. It is good times. Good memories. I am sorry about the loss of your husband. How long ago was it?.

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    2. I just passed the eight-year mark.

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    3. Wow That is a long time. And I am sure that it still hurts. Thank goodness for your granddaughter, huh?

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  7. You have chosen to love deeply, profoundly, and selflessly--the kind of love that counts, and I'm so happy to hear you say that you'd chose to do it all over again. At the end of the day, when all is said and done, and we stand before our Maker, the words, "Well done, though good and faithful servant," will be for those with great hearts like yours.

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    1. And that is what we should do...choose to love like that. So often though we don't! Thanks for stopping by

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  8. Good luck to you and your commitments to your partner. You sound like a strong lady.

    Thank you. Love love, Andrew. Bye.

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    1. No I am not at all a strong lady. I am just doing what I promised to do. And sometimes I do not do it with grace. I am just me.

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