Friday, January 10, 2014

Five Minute Friday

I am new to 5 minute Friday. But I like the idea of it. The rules are simple...you write for 5 minutes..no editing, no over-thinking, no backtracking. Then just link up and visit the person who linked up before you. Each week there will be a prompt provided to get you started.

This week's prompt is SEE

Five minutes...ready, set, go

See I could do it! But it was hard. Much harder than I thought it would be. I was only going to leave him long enough to go to the grocery store. Not like a big trip or anything. I was only gone one and a half hours. But the entire time I was at the store I had that feeling in the pit of my stomach. You know the one, where you are nervous and you don't really know why. It is not that I have never left the man. For God's sake. We have been together for over 36 years. I have been separated from him plenty of times. Even some weekends away. But now he is confused, and sick, and never sure exactly what is going on in his world.

But I have to leave once in awhile to get things done for us. Like grocery shopping. Or banking. Getting gas in the car. I usually go when the kids are home so that one of them can stay with him and one of them goes with me. It's like I think that is the only way to do this. I know it probably sounds crazy to the outside world. And people tell me it might be because I am a control freak....but it is what it is.

And I flew through that grocery store. Thinking of him at home with a stranger. She was going to shave him and massage his feet. He looked at me like I was 'crazy' when I walked out the door. Made me feel like I was crazy.

I couldn't stop to talk to an old co-worker at the store. I had to hurry to get back home. That pit in my stomach was growing. Man, will I ever do this again??

But I got back home and all was okay. He had made a new friend. She will come again next Thursday.....See, it was okay!

Stop!

Hey that was fast writing. I just typed what came out of my fingers (mouth?) See! Join in. Go here.....

12 comments:

  1. Cool site. I think I will join you.

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    1. Great idea Wendy....if I just go with the flow I bet I'll get a lot off my chest...

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  2. Thank you for sharing this story and joining five minute friday! Blessings!

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  3. :) I love it! Great job! :)

    and YAY you!!! a little freedom at some point is GOOD for your soul!

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  4. I don't think that you're crazy at all. I don't know what is wrong with your husband, but my grandma had Alzheimer's and it is hard to leave them when they are confused enough as it is. My aunt hired a respite worker, but then couldn't let go enough to leave Grandma home alone with the worker. She called me on occasion to come to be with Grandma while the worker was there. The worker didn't see the point in coming if my aunt was going to have one of us come to be with Grandma anyway. I don't know why my aunt didn't just call me in the first place. I would gladly have visited with my grandma at any time, day or night.

    It is hard to let go when you know how much they depend on you, much like leaving our babies with sitters for the first time. It is just plain hard!

    You and your husband are in my prayers as you make this journey together. {{{Hugs}}}

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    1. That is exactly how I feel. Thanks for stopping by. We are on a journey for sure!

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  5. This post made me smile, I am exactly the same way. I am so glad that Richard enjoyed his time with her and you getting out by yourself and relinquishing just a tiny bit of control (not easy I am very sure of that...I am a control freak). Love you Paula.

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    1. Yeah, but it didn't work out at all this week. And if it is because I am a control freak, so the hell what? Can't change an old woman overnight!

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