Thursday, December 12, 2013

Our journey continues....

I don't know why, in our society, talking about death is still a taboo subject. Death is inevitable. It will happen to everyone of us and everyone we know. We just don't know when it will happen. And that is a good thing. I wouldn't want to know. But for some of us we know when it is getting closer. There are signs. Richard does not talk to me about death. But he tells me that he wants to stay in our home 'all the way to the end.' He tells me that he wants me to take care of him. And he tells me that he does NOT want to go back to the hospital EVER!

I don't know when it will end for him but I do know that I will be at his side. I will hold his hand. I will take care of him until he takes his last breath. We talked about this a long time ago. Long before we knew it was soon going to happen. Long before we started counting our days together. This is what he wants.

We have all of our legal documents in place. We both have powers of attorneys for health care decisions. I am his power of attorney and I know what he wants. I can speak for him when he can no longer speak for himself. And I will! We have the legal document called "Do Not Resuscitate", which means we will not take any heroics to save his life when he stops breathing or his heart stops beating. We have talked about this. Back when we were able to discuss things without being in such an emotional state, as we are in now. When we both had level heads. That is the best time to discuss with your loved one what they want when their time comes. Don't wait until they are dying.

He is resting peacefully now. Lots of coughing through the evening. Bringing up lots of phlegm. Which is a good thing. Antibiotic is on-board and he has received two doses of the new cough syrup (this time with codeine). I helped him sip a cup of hot spiced chai tea which soothed his throat. He has his oxygen on. My alarm is set for 4 a.m. to give another breathing treatment. I've talked to God and that is giving me comfort. We will be okay! I am off to fix myself a cuppa tea with maybe just a small splash of bourbon to soothe my soul. We accept all prayers!! 


8 comments:

  1. Prayers and Hugs during this difficult time.

    ReplyDelete
  2. It is so "human" to avoid the subject of death ... to even admit it is a possibility until you reach your later years. So human. I have often wondered when we humans lost our ability to accept death as a natural event. Animals don't seem to fixate on it. They don't fight it. It just happens. Is it our higher intelligence compared to most of the animal family? And yet highly intelligent animals like elephants and dolphins also do not fret about death. Just man.

    My prayers are with you and your family during this natural end to a very full life. We should all be so lucky to have a caregiver like you at the end.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Isn't that interesting how we are so different from our animal friends. Thank you for thinking of us!

      Delete
  3. My heart goes out to you.... Unfortunately losing someone is something we all experience at some point. You are right though, death is a topic usually avoided. My Dad had a 'doomday book' as he called it. It had all of his info and baking info, account numbers, and instructions on what to do! I thought it was genius and it sure helped me a lot.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We did all of that too....a couple of summers ago. Before Richard got so sick! It will be helpful when the time comes

      Delete
  4. Definitely praying for you my friend. You are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. I took my husband's grandmother to the hospital today to get a stress test. They asked her is she had a living will (she does). But, it was a reminder to me that my husband and I need to create a living will. hugs my friend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Cristy! I think of you everyday as well. And you guys need to get busy on those living wills. You never know when you will need them. Find out now what each of you want!!

      Delete

I love to hear what you might think. Leave me a comment. I guarantee though that I will delete your comment if you are just here to cause trouble. So tread lightly!