Saturday, December 24, 2011

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

I am searching for my Norman Rockwell Christmas

I have spent my entire adult life searching for a Norman Rockwell Christmas.
And I have never found it.
I want everything to be perfect.
I want a huge, real pine tree. Decorated with perfect lights.
Garland perfectly wrapped around and around.
Perfect Christmas ornaments hung perfectly spaced.
Perfectly wrapped presents with perfect ribbon and bows.
The smells of Christmas waft through the house.
Cinnamon, wassail, pine and cookies.
Perfectly dressed children sitting patiently under the tree waiting
to take turns unwrapping those perfectly wrapped gifts.
Then they scream and oh and ah that it is the perfect present.
"Just what I wanted"
Then the family gathers around the piano and sings Christmas Carols
while the snow falls outside. And the stars twinkle.
And the carolers sing.
And everyone is happy.
And in the oven is baking the perfect turkey.
To be served with all the perfect side dishes.
And everyone is happy.
But....
that has never, ever happened at my house.
In fact one year my son so aptly pointed out
"Mom, we don't even own a piano."
So I am not looking anymore.
Cause my artificial tree with a string of lights that don't work
is perfect.
And the presents that are unevenly wrapped and have no ribbons and bow
are perfect.
And the kids that will sit under our tree, while not perfect,
are happy.
And they will oh and ah and be happy with what they get.
And hopefully there won't be any snow.
And we are having ham and not turkey.
And I might try to make some wassail.
How hard can that be.
Because I know that this is the reason
We celebrate Christmas.
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Linking up with Imparting Grace

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

What if I won the lottery?

Have you ever thought about what you would do if you won the lottery? I mean after you get finished jumping up and down and screaming! After you are done calling everyone you know to tell them "I won the lottery"! (that might not be a great idea, come to think of it). But what would you do with all that money. I have spent a fair amount of time thinking about it. And I don't even play the lottery. So here goes my list of what I would do if I won the lottery. A substantial lottery that is. Not a simple million that I would only end up with a few thousand after taxes, mind you. But big bucks.
  • First, I would take a little vacation to someplace warm. Some place with white sand and warm waters and ocean breezes. Some place I can lay in the sun, not think about anything important, or worry about anyone. Some place that I can take, oh say 7 or 8 of those I worry about with me. And we will stay there for a good two or three weeks. Doing nothing but enjoying the sun, the sea, and the sand.
  • Now I am back home and refreshed and ready to spend some money. What would I do next. Look for a new house. Nope. I am happy with the house that I have. But it does need a new roof. Really bad. My husband put this wood roof on our house all by himself (with the help of two young sons) 25 years ago. It is old and it needs replaced. So up goes a new roof. No wood shingles here this time. Just plain old roofing shingles. I don't need anything fancy.
  • I might need to think about a new car though. We have a perfectly good car now. Well it will be when I get some work done on it in early 2012. And it does have that small oil leak. And almost 100,000 miles. But it serves me well. What the heck, I have won the lottery. I will get a new car.

  • Now is the time that I best put some of this huge amount of money away to send a couple of grand kids to college. The two who live with us will need some financial assist with their education. So I will open up a couple of college funds.
  • We have a pretty awesome church that has supported us in the recent times of trouble. So I will write a nice check to them too. Thank you First Church of the Nazarene.
  • Now I am thinking there is a considerable amount of money left to spend. After all, I have won the lottery in my imagination, so I can spend as much as I want before I run out. I will call up the dentist office and schedule an appointment for Papa and me and we will get our teeth all fixed up. I have really let mine go; not only for financial reasons, but I have a huge fear of pain. But with this kind of money I can afford the best so I will just be put to sleep and get all my teeth fixed. I cannot imagine what it will be like to have a whole mouth of teeth. And Papa needs a new set of bottom dentures. Might as well get new top ones too!

  • Now I am thinking that anyone who wins the lottery ought to spend some of that on plastic surgery. Not me! But I would like some laser treatments to get rid of the brown spots on my face and my hands. That's all. No lifts or tucks here. No Botox. No augmentations. After all, I am a 60 year old woman and I am happy with where I am in life. I would like fewer brown spots. That's all.
  • New clothes for the whole family. New underwear and socks. Shoes, boots, sandals. Coats and sweaters. Jeans and dresses. Not too many. Just enough.

  • I also want hardwood floors. I am tired of white carpet. I was warned about white carpet but I didn't listen. Now I will have some hardwood. Thank you very much!

  • I am almost done here. I want to help out my sons. They will get a little cash to do with what they please. Not too much. Kids have to learn that life isn't all about having things handed to you. But a nice thank you gift from mom won't hurt.
That's it. I am done. I won the lottery. I spent my money. I will go back to the task at hand. Raising grand kids and taking care of my elderly hubby. But it was sure fun to dream for a bit. Hope I didn't sound too materialistic. It was just a fantasy, after all. I am sure all of you won't agree with how I spend my money but it is MY fantasy, remember. Now I wonder if I should buy a lottery ticket this year.......

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Sunday Stealing





Today we ripped off a blogger named Tom Baker from the blog Morning Erection. (Tom points out that you shouldn't read much into his blogs name. It's a great blog.) This is an original meme and it's very first time posted. Tom asked us to rip it off and of course we are grateful! Take the time to comment on other player's posts. It's a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!











Sunday Stealing: The Community Meme





Cheers to all of us thieves!



1. As a blogger, what do you draw inspirations from for your posts?
They all come from my head....and sometimes they are hard to come up with. That is why sometimes I go forever without blogging.



2. If you could swap blogs with another blogger for a post, who would you switch with and why?
Now that is a hard one.....I would like to switch with ??????? I just cannot think of one. Wait! Wait! I know! I want to switch with Kasey She has a writing style that I wish was mine. Sometimes she is so funny!


3. If your blog had a theme song, what would it be? Why?
It's my Party and I'll Cry if I want to! Because sometimes I feel like that is what I do at my blog....whine and cry



4. What is your writing process for a post?
Mostly just moving my fingers across the keys when an idea falls into my head.



5. Your blog requires a cute, new, mascot - what would it be?


I am just a beach bum and I love starfish!


6. Do you feel you express your "true self" on your blog?
I do now. I didn't used to. But sometimes I hold back a little.



7. What is your biggest online pet-peeve?
People who don't know me judging me.



8. If you could live in a fictional universe, where would you live? Why?
Hmmmmm...maybe, hell I don't know.



9. You're having a bad day, you're upset, you're angry, or you're sad - what is your go-to comfort?
A tub of sour cream and a big bag of chips with a can of Bud!


10. What is your favorite inspirational quote?

"If there's ever a tomorrow when we're not together, there's something you should remember







You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart, I'll always be with you.""









11. If they were to make a movie based on your life, who would play you, your leading lady/man, your best friend, and your rival?
I would be played by Rosanne Barr....my leading man would be Paul Newman, my best friend would be Lucille Ball and my rival would be Angelina Jolie Ha! Ha! Now that would be a scream


12. Do you think the world is going to end in 2012?
No!



13. If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?
 I am so impatient and bitchy at times and those are things I would change



14. What is your favorite season and why?
Summer.....I love being outside and I love the heat!



15. You've been bitten by a vampire. Would you fight it with all your undead being or would you embrace it for all it is worth?
I don't believe in vampires....so I would just keep sleeping



16. Have you personally met any of your blogger friends?
None



17. What does your favorite pair of underwear look like?
Like all the rest of them



18. Have you ever drank something right from the container in the refrigerator knowing other people will have to drink out of the same container later?
I am sorry to say that I have. And I also bit** at others that I see do that!



19. What is your favorite word and explain why?
Shit is my favorite word. It just has the perfect ring to it. And it can have so many different uses.



20. 2011 is soon coming to a close, is there anything you'd like to do different on your blog in the year 2012?
I would like to continue in the same vein...just be more consistent.



Thursday, December 8, 2011

What do I miss the most?

Do we miss the life that we used to have before we had kids? Do we wish that we could return to this life? I often think about what life was like before Darian and Harley came to live with us.
  •  It was quiet.
  •  I could sleep in as long as I wanted to in the morning.
  •  I cooked when I felt like it and if I didn't feel like it then each of us just got whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted to eat.
  • I didn't close the bathroom door when I peed.
  • I didn't put the alcohol away...just left it sitting on the counter.
  • My computer was not password protected.
  •  I only ran the dishwasher every couple of days; instead of twice a day.
  •  I washed the clothes once or twice a week; now I do at least 3 loads everyday.
  •  My car was clean. Not littered with school papers, empty water bottles; candy wrappers.
  • No one slammed any doors.
  • My bedroom was my bedroom.
  • My closet was my closet.
  • My capes, and shawls and jewelry was mine. Not borrowed by a preteen girl.
  • We watched what we wanted on TV. I didn't have to quickly turn the channel when the comedy we were watching suddenly started talking about gay life, or sex, or drinking. Or a commercial came on about erectile dysfunction. And who wants to explain that to a preteen girl and a 13 year old boy?
  •  We did what we wanted on weekends, during the week, late at night. Now I go to bed early cause I get up early to help kids catch the bus.
But they came to live with us and turned our lives upside down. We once again hear the laughter of kids in the house. We hear sibling rivalry. We feel their little (and not so little) arms around our necks. And their wet kisses on our cheeks. We feel proud when they do good. And we are upset when they are bad. We sit with them in church and thank God we have them. We attend their school and Scout functions and beam with pride. Thank you Lord for giving us a second chance at raising kids.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

A-Z Meme

Because I love memes!




A. Age: 60

B. Bed size: Queen

C. Chore that you hate: putting clothes away after I have folded them

D. Dogs: none

E. Essential start to your day: coffee with french vanilla cream

F. Favorite color: purple

G. Gold or Silver: silver

H. Height: 5'10"

I. Instruments you play: none

J. Job title: I am a RN but currently I work at home caring for my husband who recently had a stroke. And we have an 11 and 13 year old grand kids with us

K. Kids: 2 that are biological and one that we 'adopted'

L. Live: Kansas

M. Mother’s name: Pauline (may be rest in peace)

N. Nicknames: Pokey (can you believe that?)

O. Overnight hospital stays: childbirth times 3 and a broken leg in 2004

P. Pet peeves: when I am at someones house and they are on the phone or on the computer and act like I am not even there.

Q. Quote from a movie: Dirty Harry "Go on out and get some air, fatso"

R. Right or left handed: right


S. Siblings: 3 brothers and one sister
U. Underwear: granny panties
V. Vegetable you hate: none that I can think of
W. What makes you run late: My husband...he is SLOW
X. X-Rays you’ve had: right leg many, many times
Y. Yummy food that you make: Shepard's pie
Z. Zoo animal: tigers


I found this meme at The Geeky Shopoholic


If you decide to do this meme, let me know in the comments, so I can visit your blog to read your answers.



Good Advice

One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn’t pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself.”




- Lucille Ball



Saturday, December 3, 2011

Sunday Stealing

Today we ripped off a blogger and blog called BlueLifeMemories. It's long so we will do it in two parts. She states she stole it from a friend, but did not say which friend. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft's thieves might take some time. Take the time to comment on other player's posts. It's a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!






Sunday Stealing: The Blue Memory Meme, Part One



Cheers to all of us thieves!



1) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

I would say that it is time for everyone in the world to quit expecting the American government to take care of them and start to take care of yourselves.
Women: quit having babies if you can't afford them. Men: take care of the babies you are bringing into this world...




2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

I would love to meet Donald Trump...don't ask me why! But I do want to see what is up with that hair.



3) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

I hate to fly....so I am going to give that ticket to my brother Chuck so he can fly to Florida to see his grand daughter for Christmas...and I'll take care of the dogs!



4) What do you think about most?

Right now what I am thinking about most is how I am going to continue to support this family just on my husbands retirement and social security.



5) You have the opportunity to spend a romantic night with the music celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

I think I will pass....just not interested at this point in my life. Sorry



6) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

I would start my erasing my father's death when I was 8 years old. And I would take away the alcoholism that caused it. Then I would erase the results of the stroke that my husband has in September.



7) What's your strangest talent?

I can suck my upper lip all the way up to my nose. Came in handy when I was changing diapers.



8) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on?

Have you ever smoked marijuana?



9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

Hey Hey Paula!



10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?

Just before supper tonight......to the tune of Jingle Bells!



11) Do you have any strange phobias?

I don't know if they are strange but I am terrified of mice and scared to death of flying.



12) What's your religion?

I am a Christian.....member of the First Church of Nazarene



13) What is your current desktop picture?

A picture of 4 of my 9 grandchildren....



14) When you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Picking up stuff and putting it away.



15) What's the last song you listened to?

Jingle Bells.....



16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

Don't really have one.



17) What was the last lie you told?

Hmmmm don't think I want to answer this now! :)



18) Do you believe in karma?

I shouldn't....but I do!



19) What is a saying you say a lot?

Whoever said life is fair?



20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

My greatest weakness is that I am very impatient. And my greatest strength is my caring about others.



21) Who is your celebrity crush?

David Caruso



22) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word: heart.

Attack!



23) How do you vent your anger?

Bitching.



24) Do you have a collection of anything?

I do have a collection of dolls but I don't collect them any longer.



25) What is your favorite word?

SH**



Friday, December 2, 2011

Down in the Dumps

Here I am....down in the dumps!
That means I am low!
I am feeling anxious.
I feel depressed.
I don't know why
Well......I do but
Who wants to keep hearing about it?
I feel lonely
I feel sad
I know that there are those out there who will say:
"I understand"
But, no you don't.
How could you?
I just need a moment or two to vent.
To feel sorry for myself.
To cry!
To rant
To rave
And tomorrow I will feel all better.
I am just down in the dumps!

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

My Simple Woman's Daybook

______________________________




FOR TODAY

Outside my window...the sun is shining brightly but there is a nip in the air.



I am thinking...of Christmas! What it really means! And which should I be worrying about....teaching the kids the real meaning of Christmas or how am I ever going to be able to afford it?



I am thankful...for my awesome and wonderful youngest son. He comes and he seems to know just what I need. He paid for the furnace, he went to the store for me and he gave me time off from my care giving job.






In the kitchen...I am planning on a cookie bake for the weekend



I am wearing...shorts (yep, it is winter here and freezing outdoors) tee shirt and fuzzy socks. A sight I am sure



I am creating...cookie cutter picture frames to give the kids to hang on their trees



I am going...to the gas station soon to gas up the car!



I am wondering...how Richard can listen to news ALL DAY LONG



I am reading...Blood Ties on my Nook Color



I am hoping...for relief from my money worries



I am looking forward to...the weekend...make cookies on Saturday with Darian, Harley, Piper, Willow and Tucker and having Paige with us on Sunday



I am hearing.....President Obama trying to convince us how wonderful he is :)



Around the house...Christmas has arrived...all is decorated and looks so festive



I am pondering...how it is that Richard can become so confused at times.



One of my favorite things...Thanksgiving...and we really enjoyed having all the family here this year.



A few plans for the rest of the week: shopping for groceries, gassing the car, making cookies and church on Sunday



Here is picture for thought I am sharing...Our 2011 Christmas Tree






Thursday, November 17, 2011

We dodged another Bullet-Part Two

     When I returned to the hospital the next morning, Richard was awake. He said he slept well. No one was around so I could ask "What's up" His heart rhythm looks regular and around 56. That is awesome. BP is 156/65. A bit high but I knew they had held his meds. Soon into the room comes Richard's nurse and the doctor's PA.
     The PA was discussing Richard with the nurse (and ignoring us). One of my biggest pet peeves, as a nurse, is when the doctor does not include the patient and the family in the conversation they are having right in front of them.....about them. She (the PA) told the nurse..".the plan is to keep him NPO (no food) and arrange for a colonoscopy and an upper endo so that we can find out where he is bleeding. We can move him upstairs until these can be arranged" So being the person that I am....."Excuse me," I say, "but this will be up to us to decide what we are going to do, won't it?" She turns to look at me with that facial expression that says "who do you think you are to interrupt me?" So being the person that I am...."Are these tests going to take place today?" I say. She says that they probably won't. So I say, 'then we want to go home and we will schedule them as an outpatient." She proceeds to tell me that will be up to his primary doctor that she only represents the cardiologist (really, I thought I just heard you talking about scheduling these tests/)  A few more words and she leaves the room.
     Richard's nurse Renee (great, by the way) said I will call his doctor for you and see if we can get them scheduled as an out-patient and see if he can be dismissed. I had already by this time asked about the hemoglobin and potassium results and was told they had returned to normal and his heart was now doing what it is supposed to be doing. There was really no further need to remain in the hospital.
     Then in came a NEW doctor. He introduced himself and said he was a kidney specialist and the cardiologist had asked him to come see Richard about how bad his lab looked and make some suggestions. He said that his potassium was way too low and his calcium was too low and the albumin was low. He wanted to know how Richard was eating. I said, 'he eats great, not as much as he used to but has a good appetite." So his suggestions are to start him on oral potassium 3X daily and to give him calcium 3 times daily and he would like to see him again in 2 weeks with some follow up labs. Okay! Add another doctor to the already too many who see us.
     Then this guy leaves the room and is sitting at the desk with Richard's chart. Pretty soon he comes back into the room and pulls a chair over closer to me. He says, "Something is wrong! But Not with Richard" What the heck! He then goes on to tell me that he just reviewed the labs that were drawn this very morning and compared them to the admission labs. His very low hemoglobin was now normal. Impossible with just two units of blood. And his potassium was now at the top side of normal. Again, probably not possible. And his calcium was normal and his albumin was normal. In fact, he didn't have any abnormal values at all!
     So forget about the meds he just told me to give. But come see him in two weeks just to make sure all is still okay. I heard him on the phone call the lab. I heard him tell them to find that blood and rerun all the labs using the same blood.
     Next time, Renee, the nurse was in the room she received a call on her portable phone from the lab. It was about Richard. When she hung up she said that they had done a finger stick blood draw and there was no blood left to run another test on WHAT????  They did not do a finger stick. I was in the room. The drew the blood from his left arm vein just before the IV was started. They did NOT do a finger stick. I examined his finger tips to see if there were any puncture wounds and there were not. What is going on here?????
      Now we are preparing for discharge. The snooty PA has returned twice to talk with me. She has explained that we would still like to do an occult blood check on Richard's BM (that tests for bleeding) We did it and it was NEGATIVE!  No blood! And he could be discharged from the hospital. A low dose of potassium ONCE a day would be started so that he would stay in the normal range. This woman couldn't have been nicer. HMMMMM!
     So we are now home and all is okay. He feels good and his heart is beating normal. He takes a new pill to make sure it stays in the normal rhythm. But he received 2 units of blood that he probably didn't need in the first place. That is probably not a big deal. He received a BIG dose of potassium that didn't cause him any harm cause now he is in the high normal. But potassium is deadly. And it could have caused harm.And it scared the holy crap out of his family again, thinking he was really, really sick! But he's not!   If you want my take on what I think: one, somewhere in that hospital someone needs a blood transfusion and some potassium. Or, two, with all the prayers we were receiving while there, the Good Lord above healed Richard over night. Thank you Lord. And please, please, please to all lab personnel make sure you know what you are doing. A person's life depends on you knowing what you are doing!


Wednesday, November 16, 2011

We dodged another Bullet-Part One

     Tuesday afternoon Richard had an appointment with his cardiologist. Just a follow-up for the carotid stent procedure that was done in October. Not a big deal. He was doing good. No problems. Or so we thought!
     We were shown to the exam room. The nurse took his BP and pulse. I asked what they were. Like I always do.BP 106/60. Not too bad. Pulse 112. WHAT?? He usually runs about 56-60. Okay, she probably didn't count right. After she leaves the room, I get up to take his pulse. WHAT?? It is 110. Well he did walk all the way back into this room. And climbed up on an exam table. That is all that it is. Exertion!
     The doctor comes into the room. He examines him. He sits down and begins to ask him questions. Richard looks to me for the answers. He has done this since his stroke. But this is a 'no nonsense' doctor who wants the patient to answer the questions. So.......he finally gets around to the elevated pulse and says that he would like to run an EKG. Okay. Good idea!
     So in comes the EKG machine. Now I can read an EKG....a little. I am not an expert by any means. But I do know a bad EKG...and this one didn't look good. Back into the room comes the doctor with the EKG in hand. He says 'this is a fatal rhythm and he needs to be admitted to ICU at the hospital' What did he say? FATAL!
     Now my darling husband does not like being in the hospital. Wait! Not like might be not a strong enough word. He HATES being in the hospital and he doesn't want to go. I tell him that the final decision is his. He is 78 years old and it should be his choice. But I make sure that he understands that it could be FATAL.
     He decides that maybe he should go to the hospital.
     So off to the hospital we go. It is just across the street. We make it through the admission process and off we go to the ICU. Hey, they remember us from our last stay. Several of the nurses come to the room to greet
They also know me. This is the same hospital where I worked for 23 years.
     He is hooked up to the heart monitor, an IV is started. The BP cuff is attached. An o2 sat monitor is taped to his finger. And the Lab people come in to draw his initial labs. We are on the way. And by the way, his heart rate doesn't look so bad right now. But he is going in and out of V-tach. For anyone who doesn't know....that is the FATAL rhythm. The nurse is waiting for the IV Amiodorone to come from the pharmacy. This will be the first line of action. And if the medication doesn't work...then in the morning they will plan to do a cardioversion. Shock him for all the lay people who are reading. Now we settle in to let the medication do it's magic.
     NOPE.....no relaxing here. The nurse comes in and says that his hemoglobin is 6.5. And his potassium is 2.0. Those are very low counts. She calls the doctor. Four units of blood are to be typed and cross/matched and 2 will be given now. And he will get two oral doses of potassium and four IV packets of potassium. He is a very sick man.......Again!
      But he doesn't look all that sick. And he doesn't act all that sick. But he must be. Because those kinds of lab results show that he is sick.
     The blood transfusion is started. They start a second IV site so that he can get the potassium. So, three IV sites are now going. They are monitoring his heart continuously and his BP is being taken every 15 minutes.
I go home for a short bit. Talk with the kids and my son. Make some phone calls. Grab a hamburger and a coke. And head back to the hospital to stay with him until he is ready to settle in and go to sleep for the night.......

(to be continued)
    






Tuesday, November 15, 2011

A Simple Woman's Daybook

The Simple Woman's Daybook

For Today (November 15, 2011)


Outside my window..Sunny, windy and 48* I think there is a change in the air


I am thinking...about the change that my life has taken now that I am a full-time caregiver

I am thankful for... my family and how good everyone has been to us since Richard's stroke

From the kitchen... I am making baked chicken, mashed potatoes and some kind of veggie for supper tonight. Justin and Paige will be here

I am wearing... jeans and tee shirt

I am going...to be leaving soon to take Richard to the doctor for his first follow-up since the carotid procedure

I am reading...True Blue by David Baldacci

I am hoping... that Richard will let me sleep tonight. It seems when I am my most tired is when he is awake a lot

I am hearing... the TV....news, endless news

Around the house... doing a lot of cleaning getting ready for Thanksgiving

One of my favorite things... having my family here for Thanksgiving

Inspired by our wedding song... The Wedding Song."

He is now to be among you at the calling of your hearts
Rest assured this troubadour is acting on His part.
The union of your spirits, here, has caused Him to remain
For whenever two or more of you are gathered in His name
There is Love,
there is Love.

Well a man shall leave his mother and a woman leave her home
They shall travel on to where the two shall be as one.
As it was in the beginning is now and til the end
Woman draws her life from man and gives it back again.
And there is Love,
there is Love.

Well then what's to be the reason for becoming man and wife?
Is it love that brings you here or love that brings you life?
For if loving is the answer, then who's the giving for?
Do you believe in something that you've never seen before?
Oh there is Love,
there is Love.

Oh the marriage of your spirits here has caused Him to remain
For whenever two or more of you are gathered in His name
There is Love,
there is Love.


The minister who married us by the lake in Colorado, brought his guitar and played this song and sang to us
A few plans for the rest of the week...
  • clean the bathrooms
  • finish my laundry
  • borrow the rug shampooer
  • help the kids finish up with things out in the yard



Here is a picture I am sharing...one of my favorite of Paige...I love all the freckles

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Sunday Stealing

Today we ripped off a blogger named Tense Teacher from the blog Tense for a Reason. It's long so we'll do it in two parts. She stole it from The Coffee Table. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft's thieves might take some time. Take the time to comment on other player's posts. It's a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!



Sunday Stealing: The Madness Meme, Part 2

Cheers to all of us thieves!

23. Do you ever walk around the house naked?
Sure.....it is my house! And sometimes as I walk past an open window, I wave; in case anyone is looking.

24. If you were an animal what would you be? Why?
I would be a cat because they are lazy and they get to lay around and do nothing all day. I would not catch mice, however.

25. Hair color you like on someone you’re dating?
Since I would never date anyone (I am married after all) I won't pick.

26. If suffering an injury, would you rather be left blind or deaf?
This is a hard one but I think I would have to pick that I would rather be deaf.

27. Do you have any special talents?
I have to say that I am a darn good caregiver since that is what I do. And just ask my hubby and grand kids and they would tell you I do it well.

28. What do you do as soon as you walk in the house?
Close the door and put my keys on the counter.

29. Do you like horror or comedy?
Comedy

30. Are you missing anyone?
Yes...my mom who died 6 years ago, my best friend who died 4 years ago, and the man who used to reside in my husbands body (he had a stroke in September and is just not the same anymore)

31. Where do you want to live when you are old?
I do not want to live when I am old.

32. Who is the person you can count on the most?
Wow....I used to say my husband but not anymore (see above) SO  now I guess it would be me

33. If you could date any celebrity past or present, who would it be?
Elvis Presley and have him sing to me everyday

34. What did you dream last night?
The same dream I always have when I am stressed....that I am at work at the hospital and I have neglected my patients all shift...what the heck does this dream mean?

35. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Ice skating

36. Are you named after anyone?
Yep named after my mom. Pauline

37. What is your favorite alcoholic drink?


38. Non alcoholic drink?
Recently it has been screwdrivers.
39. Have you ever been in love?
Most assuredly

40. Do you sing in the shower?
No but I cry in the shower

41. Have you ever been arrested?
Not yet

42. What is your favorite Holiday?
Thanksgiving

43. Would you ever get plastic surgery?
If I could afford it I would....I would like a face lift, a boob lift, a tummy tuck, and liposuction

44. Have you ever caught a fish?
Nope

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Won't someone tell me...................

That is what I want to hear 
I want it to be alright.
I know that it will get easier
But right now it all seems so hard
And so unfair
And so sad
But I know that it will be alright.


Tuesday, November 8, 2011

And a tumble he took

I awoke early this morning to a crash. The bedroom was dark. I felt next to me and no Richard. I jumped out of bed and flipped on the light. I expected that he had fallen out of bed. But I found him laying between the dresser and the window. With blood running down his arm. And he was pale and sweating. I helped him up and to the bathroom. Cleaned up the long skin tear to his right forearm. And tucked him back into bed. He admits that he tried to get to the bathroom without waking me up. He thinks I needed to sleep.
God Bless his little heart.
But please wake me up the next time.
I used to have patients in both the hospital and the nursing home when I worked that would get up to help themselves because "I didn't want to bother you". I used to tell them that helping them after the fall, doing all the paper work and monitoring was far MORE trouble than the simple assist to the bathroom in the first place.
Today I noticed a little more droop to the left eye. And he is struggling some with doing simple math.
Did he have another little stroke. Or maybe a TIA. Who knows! We see the doctor again next week.
I will continue to monitor.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Sunday Stealing

Today we ripped off a blogger named Tense Teacher from the blog Tense for a Reason. It's long so we'll do it in two parts. She stole it from The Coffee Table. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft's thieves might take some time. Take the time to comment on other player's posts. It's a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!



Sunday Stealing: The Madness Meme, Part 1

Cheers to all of us thieves!

1. Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work?
Nope....and I have never heard that this worked. In fact, I have never heard of anyone doing it!

2. What’s the largest age difference between yourself and someone you’ve dated?
My current husband is 18 years older than me right this very minute!

3. Ever been in a car wreck?
Yep, just before I was 16 my brother flipped the car we were riding in on a country road!

4. Were you popular in high school?
Nope and I am still not!

5. Have you ever been on a blind date?
Yes a couple....and they were both disasters

6. Are looks important?
Not now! When I was younger I thought they were...but not anymore.

7. Do you have any friends that you’ve known for 10 years or more?
Yes.....my best friend Roseanne.

8. By what age would you like to be married?
I am already married


9. Does the number of people a person’s slept with affect your view of them?
Probably

10. Have you ever made a mistake?
Once!

11. Are you a good tipper?
Usually the normal 15% and that is enough. In fact I really don't like the whole idea of tipping

12. What’s the most you have spent for a haircut?
$30.00   and I think that is outrageous

13. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?
Yes, my 8th grade Civics teacher

14. Have you ever peed in public?
I am not sure what this means...but I probably have

15. What song do you want played at your funeral?
MY WAY..... Elvis Presley

16. Would you tell your parents if you were gay?
Of course...they wouldn't care...they are both dead

17. What would your last meal be before getting executed?
Lobster, baked potato sour cream salad and lots of WINE

18. Beatles or Stones?
Beatles

19. If you had to pick one person on earth to die, who would it be?
Judy

20. Beer, wine or hard liquor?
All of it but I am a wine girl

21. Do you have any phobias?
MICE

22. What are your plans for the future?
Just to make it through today

Earthquakes in Kansas?

     Craziest thing ever happened last night at our house. I was sitting here at the computer desk and my husband was in his recliner watching TV Both of the grand kids had already gone to bed. Suddenly, the lamp on my desk started to shake and move towards the edge. What the heck? I thought. Then I looked up at my husband and he had the funniest look on his face. He said that he thought his legs was shaking
(he has Parkinson's) but he looked down and his legs were still. About that time Darian, our 13 year old grandson literally burst into the living room and said "What the heck, someone is shaking my bed!" That is when I decided we were having an earthquake. At that very moment the newscasters from a near by town broke into the TV program and announced.....Oklahoma had had a 5.6 earthquake and we here in Kansas could feel it.....What???? Who ever heard of an Earthquake in Kansas?

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Darian


Darian, my 13 year old grandson, went to a Lock In (I don't know why they call it that because they weren't locked in...they drove around all night to different venues) last night. We dropped him off at the church at 6:30 for a bus trip to Wichita, a town about 60miles from us. It is actually not a town but a huge city. When I picked him up at 6 a.m. (yeah, early, I know) he had not slept at all but had a blast. They went ice skating, bowling, rode go-carts, played racquetball and had church activities with a huge number of other kids. He came home and crawled into bed and it is almost noon and he is still there. Sweet dreams Darian!

Friday, November 4, 2011

November

"How silently they tumble down


And come to rest upon the ground

To lay a carpet, rich and rare,

Beneath the trees without a care,

Content to sleep, their work well done,

Colors gleaming in the sun.



At other times, they wildly fly

Until they nearly reach the sky.

Twisting, turning through the air

Till all the trees stand stark and bare.

Exhausted, drop to earth below

To wait, like children, for the snow."

- Elsie N. Brady, Leaves



Thursday, November 3, 2011

My Daybook

FOR TODAY

November 3, 2011

Outside My Window...
It is dark and cold.....only 27* Winter will soon be here

I am thinking...
About how much I don't like winter. I hope it goes by fast and isn't very cold with very little snow this year

I am thankful for...
My family


From the kitchen...
I have cooked a lot lately. I recently made chicken and noodles for the first time in ages. Tonight though only hamburger helper (sigh)

I am wearing...
sweats and a tee shirt. Almost time for bed

I am creating...
Space in the house....learning to let go of STUFF

I am going...
CRAZY!!!!!! Every day I think this is the day I will wake up and things will be normal again.

I am reading...
mostly on my Nook.....cannot remember the name of the current book and too lazy to go find out

I am hoping...
for Hope! and Change! and Security

I am hearing...
the TV that Richard is watching while I wait for him to want to go to bed.

Around the house...
I will be cleaning and getting ready for Thanksgiving

One of my favorite things...
having my family over for the Thanksgiving meal

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week:
Darian goes to a lock-in and I need to go to the store

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Sadness and Depression

     Today I have felt sad. And depressed. It is not going to get better. I am not going to go back to work. We will learn to live on just his salary and it will not be easy. I have been going through the office and his desk. Things are kind of a mess. I think he has probably been struggling with this for longer than I knew. I think he had some dementia that I just didn't want to admit. Trying to find the important papers has been fun. And finding out what he has not paid has not been fun. I will work to get it all straightened out again. We have moved my desk and computer into the living room so that I can be near him ALL the time. He doesn't like it if I am out of the room for long. I have turned off the land line. To save money. I am doing the grocery shopping and I look for the cheapest and the sale items. We never did this before. He bought what he wanted. I now use a list. I have to watch carefully if we are going to make it. I will not qualify for my social security for another 18 months.
     He cannot help me with much of anything. He cannot remember. He knows that he gets a pension check, but not when it comes. He knows that he gets social security, but not how much. He doesn't have any of the answers to the questions I ask about his Medicare.
     He cannot remember what kind of oil we use in the car. He cannot tell me where to find the titles to the cars. I continue to look. And I will figure it all out.
     He smiles a lot more than he used to. He jokes with the kids. He laughs. He is funny. He is fun to be around. Much like having another child in the house. Now I feel like a single mom with three kids. It is like my husband left me and now I am alone. With half the money we used to have. And I am now responsible for a big house with a big yard.
     My oldest brother comes often. And he always brings something. A walker, a gel pad for the chair, a blender, food. He has been my rock. And this week we found out that he has plaque in his carotid and his retinal arteries. He needs surgery. He wants to wait until December 1 so that his Medicare will kick in. WILL THIS NIGHTMARE EVER END?
     I have a good family. They are here for me. I do not hear from my sister. She is still upset. Another long story that I don't feel like going into here. I needed her and she didn't come. It really hurts. But she is still my sister. I will go on. And so will she. But my brothers have been awesome. And my sons. And my 'adopted' daughter. And my cousins. And many many good friends. They have been here for me.

     We also have a new church family that have been very, very good to us. When the kids came to stay with us Marvin and Heather took them to their church. First Church of the Nazarene. The kids have thrived and grown in that church. They were baptized there in August. We had begun to attend on a semi-regular basis. And people who were almost like strangers to Richard and me have been there for us. They have prayed for and with us. And it is awesome. They have provided financial help. They have provided rides for the kids to and from their activities. They have called on us. Richard's first outing after coming home from the hospital was to church. And he loves to go. It is good for both of us. It is God's will!
     I feel better now. I think it helps to write things down. And it will give me a place to look back. And see how far we have come. And see how silly I was to be sad and depressed.
This was taken on his 78th birthday in January 2011

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Halloween 2011


This is the Way it Now is!

     Well the stoke now was more than a month ago. We went into the hospital for an uneventful overnight stay and had the carotid cleaned out and stents placed. Now it is just the day to day living.
     Not much has changed. Richard's memory is much the same. He remembers everyone. And most long term memories he still has. But there are some things he4 does not remember. The layout of our house seems to cause him a big problem. He has to be told each time which direction to turn when we are going out of the living room to the bathroom or to our bedroom. He doesn't go anywhere without me. He asks me to help him with everything. It is like he has forgotten how to do the simple things. Like fasten his pants, shave, brush his teeth. It is very interesting. I have taken care of many stroke patients over the past 28 years that I have been a nurse. But I have never taken one of them home with me.
     The first few days were really a struggle. For me....not for Richard. I kept thinking that we would wake up one morning and he would be normal again. We found that reading the paper was a real struggle. Doctor had warned us that his eyesight could come and go and not to try to see the Optometrist for at least 6 months. In the beginning, I read the paper to him each morning. But now he can read most of it himself. But by noon he cannot remember that he read it so he will read it again. And it is news to him all over again.
     His personality seems to have changed also. He is much more gentle with the kids. And kinder. And very touchy, feely with me. He wants me in the same room with him. And he always used to sleep with his back towards my back in bed and now he has to face me and TOUCH me. It is like he is afraid, but he does not know what he is afraid of. He faced death. But he does not know that. Or if he does, it is in his subconscious and he is not aware.
     I put up a piece paper each day with the month, date, day and year. He only has to look around to find it and then he knows what the date is. I help him with dressing and personal hygiene now. He does not go to the bathroom alone. I prepare all of his food for him. I give him his medication twice a day and again at bedtime. He does ask repeatedly if he has had his pills. He spends most of the day sitting in his recliner watching TV. It is sad. But he does seem happy.
    And this is our new life!
    

Monday, October 31, 2011

Rehabilitation

     Rehabilitation.....what exactly does that mean. Richard is learning to walk with a walker. He can walk well but having the walker really gives him the stability that he has needed for a long time. They are trying to encourage him to take long strides (instead of the small shuffle steps he takes due to the Parkinson's disease) He needs constant reminding. They are working with him on dressing, toileting, and bathing. It is apparent he will need help with all of this. The biggest thing is they have told him he will NEVER be able to drive again. This is hard on most men and will be hard for Richard too; if he ever can remember that we have told him that. He is a independent man and will not want this taken away from him.  
     Therapy is intense. They work for 3 hours every morning. Then he has a rest period and then lunch. And then they are back for 3 hours in the afternoon. He is worn out. But, not sleeping good at night.I remind them that he uses sleeping pills at home. They will check with the doctor.
     The memory remains the biggest obstacle. You can tell him what is going on and in 30 minutes he still does not remember.
     Discharge planning is in place. We will leave for home on Wednesday morning, September 28. How is this going to change our lives. Time will tell. Everything is in place. And we will return to the hospital on October 4 for an overnight stay to have his right carotid cleaned out.

Friday, October 28, 2011

And the hard work begins

     All of this happened on Friday night......my son and his girlfriend go home with me. Richard is on the ventilator in the ICU. His heart rate is still slow but it is stabilized. I will leave him to rest And hope that I will be able to rest also.
     Saturday morning my cousin from Lawrence arrives. We go to the hospital! Richard is awake and aware that he has a tube in his throat to breathe for him. He is very restless. It is more than I can take. We do not know how much damage from the stroke that he has suffered. He has a catheter in his bladder and it is driving him crazy. He is fidgeting and trying to pull out the tubes. They sedate him with Diprovan. The same drug that killed Michael Jackson. They call it the 'milk of amesia'. But it works to keep him calmer. They try to wean him off the ventilator but it does not work. He is too sedated. He quits breathing. The machine is turned back on. The doctors come and go. He has one on one care. I am very scared. Family comes and goes. Justin stays with me.
     Tomorrow morning (Sunday) they will again try to take him off the ventilator. Justin, Calvin and I go home. He is resting!
     Sunday morning we go back to the hospital. He has passed the weaning test and the tube comes out of his throat. He is very confused. He does not know where he is. He does not know the date, the year, or who is the President of the United States. But his speech is clear and he is moving all extremities with equal strength. They want to do an MRI but he is too restless. So they do another CAT scan. He has had a stroke in the occipital lobe. Looks like it will affect vision and memory. Praise the Lord. It could have been so much worse.
     Calvin goes back to Lawrence. Justin is going to stay. Darian and Harley come to the hospital to see their Papa. It scares Harley to see him like this. I will take them home tonight so that we can get them back on their schedule and normalacy will return to our lives. (Who am I kidding? It will never be normal again).
     Monday morning is here. I cannot believe it has only been 2 days since my life was normal and I was at home wishing I did not need to start looking for a job again. (That's another story! But, be careful what you wish for. I go back to the hospital and the plan today is to move him to a regular room upstairs and start planning for the future. He still is confused and it looks like the short term memory is gone. Whatever we tell him we have to tell him again over and over. He now knows who the president is. Justin was glad he didn't have to break the news that Barack Obama was President. Richard is a die-hard Republican.
     The move upstairs is hard on the confusion. Thinks he has moved to a different hospital. We have to keep telling him where he is. During the night he gets up and wonders around in his room so they move him to a room closer to the nurses and into a bed that alarms when he gets up. Oh boy! This is disturbing to me.
Today he is seen by all the rehab specialities to see if he qualifies to move into the intense rehab unit or if he goes to the skilled nursing unit. He also goes for a cardiac stress test. We are happy to hear that he will go into the rehab unit and receive intense therapy for most of the day. They move him downstairs to another new room. This is now his 4th room in as many days. And he cannot keep it all straight in his head. He does not remember Friday night at all. Maybe that is a good thing. His cardiologist decides we need to check his carotid arteries so he is scheduled for carotid angiograms tomorrow. I am stressed. Too much for him and too much for me.
     Wednesday he starts therapy. He is worn out. But the day is not over. At 4 p.m. they take him to the cath lab for the angiogram. I have to go home to meet the school bus. We return to the hospital. He is still in the cath lab recovering but no doctor to tell me what they found. Hopefully I can talk to him tomorrow. Richard remains upbeat but confused. He does whatever they tell him. They are feeding him a pureed diet. He has aspiration pneumonia. What more can happen?

Thursday, October 27, 2011

My life has forever changed

     On September 16, 2011 we as a family sat down to supper. I had made beef stir-fry. A meal that my husband and the grand kids 'used' to really like. Not long into the meal, my husband, Richard, put his head into his hands and complained that he 'felt dizzy'. I sat across the table from him. I told him he needed to raise his head and open his eyes. It is true that you feel an increase in your dizziness with your eyes closed. When he raised his head up, I could see that he was having trouble opening his left eye. I told him to open his eye.......both of the kids watched on......then I said, "Richard, smile at me!" He did! His smile was crooked...his mouth was drooping on the left side. I knew at this time that he was having a stroke. The kids laughed as the smile on their Papa's face was pretty funny looking. I got up and walked to his end of the table. I tried not to scare the kids. My heart was beating in my throat. I gave him my hands and told him to squeeze. He could! In fact, I thought he might break my fingers :) The kids continued to eat!. I gave him a sip of water as he still had some of the stir-fry in his mouth. The water dribbled out of the left side of his mouth. I asked if he thought we should go to the hospital. His reply was 'no I am not going to the hospital' Good, the speech was clear. But this caused two forks to bang to the table. The grandson stood and said, "Granny, what is going on" In a matter of fact way (well it sounded that way to me) I said "I think Papa is having a stroke." The grandson and I tried to stand him up so that we could take him to his recliner in the living room. He could not bear weight. I said "Richard, I think we need to go to the hospital!" His reply was "nonone eyye same caner goop" Yep, it was time to call 911!
     So I instructed the grandson to stand on one side and the grand-daughter (who by now was beginning to cry) to stand on the other side and granny grabbed the portable phone. I went into the nearby laundry room so as not to scare them any further and placed the call.
     911 operator "What is your emergency?" Me: "My name is Paula and my address is ***** and my husband is having a stroke. 911 operator: "And what makes you think this, mam?" I then told her that I am an RN and what his symptoms were and to please send us an ambulance STAT. I hung up the phone and returned to my husbands side. Very shortly after he slumped into his chair and his head lolled to the side. It was at this moment I again picked up the phone and called 911 again to see what was taking them so long. (Later, that night when I checked the phone I found that only 2 minutes had passed since I had called them the first time...not the hours that it seemed like) While telling the 911 operator the new developments the fire department arrived. My 11 year old grand-daughter had totally lost it by now and was loudly crying and running about. I had to grab hold of her and tell her she had to pull it together and to get a sack and go gather up all of Papa's medications.
     Three big, beautiful and life-saving firemen entered the house. They lifted Papa from his chair and placed him on the dining room floor. The kids went out front to await the arrival of the ambulance. And to comfort each other. I was giving all of Richard's medical history to the firemen as they begin to feel for a pulse and place oxygen on his face. His color was grey. His pulse was present, but slow.
     Then the ambulance arrived and into the house they came with all of their life saving paraphernalia. I have never been so happy to see anyone in my entire life! They set about with their work. One talked with me and took down his history. One checked his blood sugar and applied the electrodes to monitor his heart. Another began to start an IV. They then lifted him onto the gurney and rushed him to the front door. It was then that I remembered that he did not wish to be resuscitated should his heart stop beating so I told this to his life-savers and they were heading out the door. One stopped and turned to me and said in the kindest and most caring manner "Mam, when you called for us you asked us to save his life and that is what we plan to do" Good, good. They were on their way. In the car we followed. The kids and granny. We were all shaken and we were scared. My grand-daughter said, 'granny, I knew this day was coming. But I didn't know it would b e today!' Me either, Harley, me either. The day was beautiful. We had had an uneventful day. We did not know this is how it would end.
     About two blocks into the trip to the hospital, with us following closely behind, the ambulance flipped on the red lights and the sirens and they began to weave in and out of traffic as they flew down the streets to the hospital. Now I was SCARED! "Would he still be alive when we got to the hospital?"
     I had called our adopted daughter (who lives close by) and she was to meet me at the hospital. I had called my youngest son, who lives 60 miles away and he is on his way. And I had called my oldest brother and he would meet me at the hospital too. He had just lost his wife, Pam, in June. He would be a comfort to me. The 'adopted' daughter would take the kids. And I would hold on for Justin, the youngest son.
     Upon arriving at the hospital I entered by the ER. I was met by a gentleman nurse, who guided me through the admission process. I did not want to do this. I wanted to see my husband. "Would they make me do this if he had died on his way to the hospital", I wondered. I answered her questions the best way that I could. I kept looking at the nurse who stood at my side. Finally I had to have an answer to the question. "IS HE STILL ALIVE"  I asked. I was told that he would go back and see what was going on and then come back to get me. My 'adopted' daughters husband arrived to take the kids home. My brother arrived. Finally a nurse, who introduced herself as the ER supervisor came to tell me that the Doctor would like to talk to me in the QUIET ROOM. " This cannot be good" I told my brother as we followed her down the hallway.
     We settled into the Quiet Room and the nurse gave a bit of an update. Richard had stopped breathing in the ambulance and was intubated (a tube placed to help him breathe) His heart rate was very, very slow and they were giving him medication to help increase it which was also making his blood pressure too high so they would have to work with that. They were taking him for a CAT scan of his head to determine if he was having a 'bleeding' stroke. I asked the nurse if I could see him and she took me into the hall for a brief moment as he was one his way to XRay. He looked very sick!
     The Doctor came into the room and asked us what we were wanting to do. What? I don't know what to do? Don't ask me! Wait.....what are our options. He said if we were thinking about surgery we needed to act fast, get him to a bigger hospital quickly as there is a very tiny window of time for this type of surgery. If the CAT scan does not show an active bleed then we can administer TPA ( a really high powered blood thinner and clot buster). I know that Richard would not want brain surgery. But trying the TPA sounded like a good idea. TPA can only be administered if you are in a certain time window of when the stoke occurred and we were in time.
     So, after the CAT scan was completed and there was no active bleed he was back to the ER and the TPA was started. We waited for an ICU bed to free up so that he could be moved there. Our sons arrived along with other members of my family. I was so glad to have them all there to support me and to show Richard how much they cared for him. God is amazing and so is my family!
     Look for the next installment....COMING SOON

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Mother's Day is coming.....

I have now been a mother for almost 40 years. Yep, I said that right. In September of 1971 I gave birth to my firstborn and he will be 40 this coming September. Where have the years gone...it seems like only yesterday.
What have I learned in the past 40 years?
1. I have learned that being a mom never stops. It is a lifetime occupation. And you get no advance training. You learn on the job. There isn't a book or a workbook or a DVD to help you learn what to do. Oh there are plenty of books that give advice. And I have read most of them through the past 40 years. I have learned that some of that advice is sound advice and it works. I have learned that some of the people who give advice are either crackpots or never have had any kids of their own. So you just have to sort through it and take what you want and trash the rest.
2. I have learned that you sometimes have to listen to what your kids say. Sometimes they aren't asking you for the world, but just for a few moments of your time. If I could return to that day in 1971 when I gave birth for the first time, I would have promised him to give him every spare moment of my time. I would have listened to their dreams, their joys, their cares, and their hopes.
3. I have learned that you cannot be your kids friend. They need a parent; not another friend. They need someone to listen and to guide them. They need to have rules and consequences. And it is hard to make them stick to the punishment you give them. So that takes patience.
4. I have learned that you need patience. And plenty of it. But I haven't yet learned where that comes from! Patience is the hardest one.
5. I've learned that you have to know how to be a  referee, be a nurse, be a chauffeur, be a short order cook, and wear all those hats at the same time.
6. I have learned that THEIR dreams will not necessarily be MY dreams.
7. I've learned that I might not always like who they choose to spend their lives with, but we will have to find a way to get along for the sake of my sons.
8. I've learned that I might have to be available to help them in ways that were not in my plans.....like step up and raise their kids when they aren't able to. And to still love them unconditionally. And be quiet when the rest of the world is bashing them for their choices.
9. I've learned that it is even harder to stay out of their business when they are taking care of their child. Even though I don't agree with how it is being done. (hear me clearing my throat)
10. But the hardest lesson I have learned as a mom is to let go. I have had to take that backseat and watch as they go through life with all of it's trials and tribulations. I've learned that they don't always appreciate my advice. They will ask for it if they need it. It is hard to see them make mistakes and not run to try to fix it for them. Whether it is going to jail, losing a job, losing a marriage...they will survive it and hopefully become better men because of it.  I will just continue in my role of picking them up, dusting them off, and encourage them to try again!
And finally I have learned that being a MOM doesn't always mean giving birth to them:

Monday, March 28, 2011

Words from The Simple Woman's Daybook

Outside my window...



The skies are grey....winter is back...it is only 36*outside. Yesterday we had snow flurries. At least the wind is only slight today.



I am thinking...

A lot about my oldest son lately.....don't know why! Wonder what he is up to. The kids called yesterday to tell their parents about their up-coming trip to Walt Disney World and dad wasn't there so he was supposed to call them back when he got home but guess what.....no return call. They were disappointed. Don't know what to tell them anymore.







I am thankful for...



The wonderful benefactor that is providing this awesome trip for us to take the kids to Walt Disney World.







From the kitchen...



Are you kidding me.....who has time for the kitchen now days.



I am wearing...



my scrubs as soon I will be leaving for work.





I am creating...



Lists, lists, lists.....getting ready to go to Walt Disney World




I am going...



to work soon....Just had four days off and did not accomplish much of anything. Well besides the "Big Reveal" to let Darian and Harley in on the surprise that Papa and I and Marvin and Heather and their kids have known about for the past 3 months. It was a wonderful "surprise" birthday party for Heather. Took the kiddos about 24 hours to figure out that we really are going to Disney.




I am reading...



Blood Ransom.......A book about slave trade in Africa.!





I am hoping...



That soon we will receive that income tax check so I can start buying shirts for our trip.




I am hearing...



TV in the background....a soap opera




Around the house...



I have cleaned Harley's and Darian's bedrooms for the spring! Rest of the house to go




One of my favorite things...



is summertime. Wish it would get here soon. Wait I just gave a lecture to Harley yesterday about wishing her life away. LOL!










A few plans for the rest of the week:





I work on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, Saturday and Sunday. No real plans otherwise.








Here is picture for thought I am sharing.....