Monday, November 24, 2014

My Simple Woman's Daybook-November 24th Edition

For Today...November 24, 2014

Outside my window...

Bright blue sky...sun is shining. But pretty windy. No as cold as it has been. Almost all the leaves are gone from the trees now. 

I am thinking...

I am thinking about the weekend that we had. Justin and Paige came after having not seen them for the last two weekends. Darian and Harley attended their final debate tournament. Darian qualified for State. Harley is just glad it is over. And, Darian went on his FIST date to Winter Formal at school.

I am thankful...

I am thankful for all of the good memories that were created at our house.

In the kitchen...

Monday....Chicken Wraps* & Tater Tots.
Tuesday...Hamburgers & French Fries
Wednesday.Chicken Enchilada Soup*
Thursday..Chili dogs & chips
Friday....Cream Cheese Chicken*
Saturday..Traditional Thanksgiving meal
Sunday....Leftovers, of course!
*linked recipes

I am wearing...

You are all in for a surprise...because today I am wearing LONG gray yoga pants with a black tee shirt. And barefoot of course!

I am creating...

I am creating this post and I just finished creating my November gratitude post. It is here if you are so inclined to read it.

I am going...

I am going to catch a nap later today. And read from my book.

I am wondering...

I am wondering what people will think when they see my menu for Thanksgiving is Chili dogs. Ha! Ha! And we might put up the Christmas tree too. A fun day planned for just the 3 of us. Justin and Paige, my brother, and Darian's girl will join us on Saturday for our Thanksgiving meal.

I am reading...

I am reading "The One You Love" It was a freebie from BookBub. I haven't decided yet if I like it. But once I start reading a book I usually finish it. So I'll tell you when I am done.

I am hoping...

I am hoping that my new blog colors will be easier to read. I had a few comments from some of my readers that the other blog colors were not easy to read. So tell me what you think?

I am looking forward to...

I am looking forward...outward...front ward. Not backwards. Not much anyway.

I am learning...

I am learning that is is just necessary to put on foot forward and drag the other one up beside it. And paste on a smile.

Around the house...

This weekend I actually cleaned out the freezer (the one in the fridge) and used Easy off to clean the oven. I have two ovens. One is a self-cleaner. And the other one isn't. Now which one do you suppose we use the most? Crazy, I know but we tend to use the one that needs cleaned with Easy Off. Figure that out.

I am pondering...

I am pondering the holiday season. As I am sure most of you are. 

A favorite quote for today...




A few plans for the rest of the week...

Like most of you I am planning for Thanksgiving. We will have a traditional meal with quite a few less people than we have had in the past. I think for this year that is a good thing. 

A peek into my weekend...




Final Debate Tournament
November 22, 2014
Winter Formal November 22, 2014



I would love to have everyone go over to Peggy's Simple Woman's Blog and join in with the ladies writing in their Daybooks. 




Sunday, November 23, 2014

INTENTION

Loving him....that was my intent! And I am grateful for the years we had together. It was not always roses and candy. But what relationship is? We had many fights. Most were not serious. I admit there were times that I thought of leaving. And there were times that he thought of leaving. It wasn't anymore of a fairy tale relationship that any other normal marriage in this world is. But we were committed to each other. We lived together for 17 years before we took a trip down the proverbial aisle and made it legal. It was always a commitment though. Never once did anyone who knew us ever have a doubt that we were not committed for the long run. Here was our intention: 

"I take you to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or worse,for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, from this day forward until death do us part."

And I fulfilled every single one of those intentions. Right up to the day that death parted us. 

Those were our simple,traditional vows to each other the day we were married. But we were already living that intent long before we were married in the eyes of the law. Because we had been married for many years in the eyes of the Lord. Our Lord. He had already given us the blessing of our intentions. I will always be grateful for the years that he was my husband. 

PEACE

What does peace mean to you? Do you think about your own peace. Or world peace. Or peace and quiet. Peace means: freedom from disturbance; quiet and tranquility. It also means freedom from war or violence. I grew up in the 1960's when the hippies made peace mean freedom to love. We all have that symbol in our minds of Peace of the 1960's. They preached peace but it wasn't a very peaceful time as I remember it. My brother was 18 years old and serving in the jungles of Viet Nam.

We would all like to have peace in our families. I know that many of you, like myself, have struggles in this area. 

Maybe forgiving others might help each of us find the peace that we deserve.

Today I am going to be thankful for the peace that I have at this moment. And I will continue to pray for peace in the world, in my family, and for each of you. Because I want to be thankful for peace.


Saturday, November 22, 2014

WHO'S GOING TO CARVE THE TURKEY?



Who's Going To Carve The Turkey
bY...ME!

Who's going to carve the turkey
Or watch the parade with me on TV?
Who's going to cut the pumpkin pies,
And who's going to whip the cream?

Who's going to grind the cranberries,
Or hold my hand when we say Grace?
Who's going to get up extra early,
To help prepare for the day?

Who's going to pull out all the boxes,
And help us put up the tree?
Who's going to hang the lights outside,
It used to be just you and me.

Who's going to help me Christmas shop?
And encourage me to spend too much.
Who's going to hang the stockings,
Or place the nativity on the hutch?

Who's going to ride around with us,
To see all the pretty lights?
Who's going to carve the turkey?
And help us see the magic in the night?

Who's going to stay up really late
To see in another bright, new year?
Who's going to buy the hats, horns, & champagne
And listen as we all cheer?

The holidays are upon us.
This was your favorite time of year.
We are going to miss you dearly
But we know you're still right here. 


Friday, November 21, 2014

PURPOSE

September 2014
What is the purpose of my life? I have been known to ask that question from time to time. I think all that are human question their purpose. 

"Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others."  Philippians 2:4

It was these two who taught me that it is not my own selfish desire that is important. But the ability to love and consider others is what really matters in life. You can do this even if you don't believe in God or the Bible. These two have give my life the purpose that I need. Especially now...I selfishly cling to them. They are my reason for getting up in the mornings. The reason I am putting one foot in front of the other. They need me...and I need them! I am thankful that God put these two on my doorstep on December 15, 2008. They are my purpose!!

Has Anyone Noticed?

Friday is when I wander over to Kate Motaung's blog to see what the Five Minute Friday prompt is. Then I wander around some of the other writer's blog for a bit. Then I head back here and open a blank page. And I write for five minutes, without much thought, without much editing. I just let all my feeling pour out through the tips of my fingers. And hope that I don't offend anyone. Or expose myself too much. Or show you that I am really just a weak and grieving woman with a desire to write..so here goes.







Go


Today is the day. I wonder if anyone will notice. Well besides me, I mean. Because I have noticed every second, every minute, every hour since he's been away. Today marks the fourth month anniversary. Four very long, long months. And then again it seems like only yesterday. I ask myself, "how long will you go on counting time this way?" And I don't have an answer. Because I notice in so many ways that he is no longer here with me. I can't hear his voice. Or smell his smell. Or spend time sharing the little parts of my day. I can't close my eyes and see him anymore. I sit and I wait. I'm not sure what I am waiting on. But I wait. And I cry. And sometimes it just hurts so bad that I don't think I can do this for one more day. My throat hurts with the pain of trying to choke back loud, wailing sobs. My chest hurts when I notice he isn't here any longer. 

I don't know where I am on the grief spectrum. And I don't really care. There are days that I feel like I am moving on. That I can do this. That it really isn't that painful anymore. And then I notice that he's gone and it starts all over again. I'm sure that people who come to this blog wish that I would talk about something else. And I have tried. I really have. But this is the real me. This is what I am all about right now. And I am determined to get through this. I want to feel everything. I want to feel the pain. I want to feel the sadness of no longer being a wife. I want to feel the wonder of what being a widow will feel like. I need to feel every single emotion and go all the way through it. Until I don't want to do it anymore. I am sorry if you are tired of reading about it. I don't write this for you. I write it for me. 

I don't know that in the end I will be okay. I don't know when the end will be. I don't know that there is a reason for everything. But I do know that every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day, I notice that he is gone. And it hurts... 


Stop

Thursday, November 20, 2014

PASSION

1983
For almost 34 years my passion was being a nurse. When I was 28 years old I decided to go back to school to become a nurse. It was not my passion at that time. But I needed a way to help raise my boys in a world where expenses were ever growing. I had always found anything medical to
be interesting...even fascinating. But I didn't plan to be a nurse.

And then I started nursing school. Well it wasn't really a nursing school. It was a community college. I have an associates degree in nursing. It was those first few years when it became my passion. When I sat at the side of an elderly lady in the nursing home and she showed me how to quilt. When I watched babies being born. When I stood at the shoulder of the surgeon and watched as he extracted a huge cancer from a man's colon. As I hugged a teenage girl who had just lost her mom to breast cancer. Yes, even when I broke the rules to help a dying man smoke his last cigarette in a world where NO SMOKING now reigned. Nursing became my passion.

This passion led me down a very long road. The road of hospital nursing where so many changes took place that it was hard to stay on top of all of them. The road to long term care where I found my true passion in nursing. The elderly have so much to teach us. All we have to do is listen to them. Give them time. And the attention they deserve.

My nursing career ended with me giving care to the most wonderful patient I have ever had. My own husband. I am glad that I was able to be there, to give back to him all the love and care he had given to me and our sons. I ended my career at an all time high!!

I am grateful to have been a nurse.