Friday, August 29, 2014

Just out of Reach

Friday is here. Let's travel over to Heading Home and join Five Minute Friday. A comfortable, safe place to share five minutes of writing raw. No editing, no over-thinking. Just putting your thoughts down and then hitting the publish button. The only rule is to offer another writer (or two or three) your love and support. Let's go. This week the writing prompt is:

Reach

Go



The sun was pouring through the front door windows when I saw the shadow pass over my loved one's face. I knew his time was here. Those who had been lingering in our corners stepped forward. It was time. I reached for his hand and held it tight. And I reached deep into my heart for the strength that I knew I would need from this moment on. He passed peacefully. He had reached his goal. There was no pain. No discomfort. Just a quiet letting go.

I sit now in a silent room and reach for peace. It is out there. This much I know. I just have to reach for it. I stretch out my hand. It is just outside my grasp. My thoughts are filled with the past and what I have lost. I cry. But I must keep reaching to find my future...and know that he is still with me....just out of my reach!

Stop

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Throwback Thursday

This is a picture of Richard taken in the early 1950's, while he was serving our country, somewhere in Germany. He wrote on the back of it...."getting ready to watch a parade." The entire back of the photo was covered with his writing...telling about a little German boy who he gave 4 pennies to and how happy it made the boy. I love reading about the time he spent in another country. Most of the pictures of this time have his writing covering the back. I am glad that he documented his journey for us.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Willing or Not

It is already Wednesday. It seems that time just keeps marching forward, doesn't it. Can't we pause just a bit? I want to catch my breath. But that is not the way this works. So I am joining my friend, Lisa, at My Sweet Peanut in her weekly One Word Wednesday challenge. This week the word is:



WILLING

I am not feeling all that willing right now. I am just not. I don't know why. And I am not interested in finding out why. If being willing means moving on then I'm not going to. Not just yet. If willing means: ready,  eager and prepared to do something, then I am not willing

I just completed a three year roller coaster ride. If you are interested in the journey then you can check out My Care-giving Journey Page by clicking here. I didn't ask to go on this journey. But I was willing. There were times (many more than I want to remember) when I wanted to get off. When I had taken all that I could take. When I even said, to anyone who would listen, that I couldn't do it anymore. But I kept with it. I was willing. I had to be. This man was my husband. The love of my life.
 The man who came to me 36 years ago and agreed to take care of me and two sons who were not his responsibility. And he was willing. I have never felt a more powerful love than the love that was given to me, by Richard. It couldn't have been easy for him to make the decision to date a young woman with 2 young boys. Many people out there discouraged both of us from entering into this relationship. Many people thought it wouldn't last. But it did. And you know why it did? Because both Richard and I were willing.

Marriage is not easy. All married couples know that. It is easy to just give up when things start to go downhill. I know that! Because I did it once. Richard knew that. Because he did it twice. When he and I decided to get married, after having lived together for 18 years, (I know, I know) we talked about what this was going to mean to us. For better or worse. We knew that we would have plenty of each. We had already been through a lot. For richer or poorer...yep, been there too. In sickness and in health...we didn't have a clue what was waiting for us around the corner. To Love and to cherish....we both did this. I loved and was loved. I cherished and was cherished. Til' death do us part....We were willing.


Monday, August 25, 2014

Don't Give up Hope



Don't Give Up Hope

This world just keeps on getting crazier and crazier everyday
You're so afraid
Sometimes it feels like it's chasing your sanity away
And you start to break
Let me help you find your way

Don't give up faith
Don't give up hope
There's always something better
Waiting around the corner
Don't give up now
Please, don't let go
What can feel like the ending
Could just be the beginning
Don't give up hope

Your life is spinning like a rocket that's gone out of control
And you've let go
You're slowly losing your confidence, you're a wounded soul
But I hope you know
I can help you find your way

Don't give up faith
Don't give up hope
There's always something better
Waiting around the corner
Don't give up now
Please, don't let go
What can seem like the ending

Could just be the beginning
Don't give up hope
Don't give up hope now

Don't turn around
Keep on moving
Find your faith
You'll be doing all right now
Don't look back
Keep on moving
Find your faith
And you'll be doing all right now
Don't look back
Keep on moving
Find your faith
And you'll be doing all right now

Don't give up faith
Don't give up hope
There's always something better
Waiting around the corner
Don't give up now
Please, don't let go
What can seem like the ending
Could just be the beginning
[Repeat 2x]




Menu Plan Monday and Life

Another Monday is upon me. I will always think of Monday's now as the day that he died. Never did like Monday. Today marks 5 weeks. And life just keeps marching on. The kids have started debate practices twice a week. We have dentist appointments twice this week. Scouts starts again tonight. And the church youth group is having a back to school paint party on Wednesday. Our last week before school starts. And, for the first time in I don't know how many months and months, my youngest son didn't come to visit. He is sick with pneumonia and a mysterious back pain. All prayers for him are welcome. Now onto the Monday Menu Plan. It has lots of last week's menu because I just didn't feel like cooking.


Monday

Leftover Day

Tuesday


Wednesday

Kids eat at church

Thursday

Hake
Scalloped potatoes
Brussels sprouts

Friday


Saturday

Chicken Cordon Blue
Mashed potatoes/gravy
Corn

Sunday

Green bean soup
Sour dough bread

See...not much change. I am linking up with I'm An Organizing Junkie.

Friday, August 22, 2014

Tis The Season for CHANGE

On Friday's I join a group of friends and other bloggers for Five Minute Friday. Kate Motaung at Heading Home is our hostess for the challenge. We write for 5 minutes without over-thinking, editing, or worrying about what others will think. The only rule is to link-up and support others who are writing. Let's get started....This weeks prompt is CHANGE

GO

Oh wow! This is not one of my favorite words. I am one of those people who doesn't deal well with change of any kind. I like things to go along status quo. The same everyday. That is just how I roll. Bring on any changes, for me, and you are bound to see anxiety and moodiness. All the years I worked at the hospital I didn't like when things weren't going smoothly. I think one of the biggest reasons I liked changing to the nursing home so much was because it was day to day with few changes.

winter 2014
Oh the changes that were brought about in my life when Richard got sick three years ago. I had to quit working. I took over all the grocery shopping (he had always done that), all the meal preparing (he helped here a lot), all the financial matters, (this was totally his baby), and all the taking care of house and car. And I didn't like it one darn bit. But I survived. And I do okay. In fact, I used to tell Richard that when it came to the financial part of our family life, I was much better at it than he was. Of course, at this point, he didn't care. So he just smiled! Oh how I miss that sweet smile.

Now here I am again making changes in my life. Not big changes like I had to make when he became sick. Just the change of not having him here anymore. Just the change of not having him to talk to. To take care of. To smile at and hold his hand. To feel him squeeze my fingers. To hear him say "I love you sweetheart!". Just those changes...

STOP

Now it's your turn. How does the word change impact your life. Go over to Heading Home and join the challenge.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Throwback Thursday

This is the exact spot where we were married in 1996. This picture was taken in the fall of 2007.